What should I do about this ?

India
April 2, 2010 8:23am CST
Hi mylotters, I am again here with a problem and want your help and suggestions about this, I am a very hard working guy who works almost 12-14 hours (because I am self employed) and don't have any kind of addiction I never smoked or drunk (even beer), during past few days one of close friend insisting me to take drink once with him, I don't why ? but I am not ready for this and he is regularly approaching me to do the same and now at a point he told me I have to drink with him otherwise our friendship will be finished, what is this silliness now I am confused what should I do.
1 person likes this
17 responses
@patms1 (521)
• United States
3 Apr 10
How important is this guy to you? I have to say I don't think he is a good friend. Why is he so set on you having a drink? If he can base your friendship on something so unimportant then he is not and has never been a friend. Don't give in to him and just tell him that if this is what he wants then maybe your friendship is not as strong as you thought. I feel he is trying to control you and you don't need it. It sounds to me like he is jealous of you and if he can get you to take a drink he can brag about it and make you look like a wimp. Say NO! and if he ask again don't even answer, just change the subject.
1 person likes this
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
3 Apr 10
You should stick to your principles and what you believe in.. If he’s a real friend he’ll understand and won’t force you to do something you don’t like..find out the reason he’s acting like that.. Good luck
1 person likes this
@Polly1 (12645)
• United States
3 Apr 10
It sounds like you might have to tell him bye. He doesn't sound like much of a friend. Real friends do not push you to do something you don't want to do. I applaud you for sticking to your feelings and not giving in.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
3 Apr 10
A true friend would not pressure you to drink, I would tell him you do not feel comfortable with drinking and you never want to drink so if he can't accept that maybe you shouldn't be friends. He may take a look back and then realize how he's acting and apologize or he may continue to insist. Either way, he may himself have a problem with drinking which isn't good.
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
2 Apr 10
Friends do not push others to do things they don't want to do. Either you tell him straight that you won't and that is the end of it, or you tell him you are not friends anymore. What is his problem? Why keep on nagging for something he knows you don't want to do? Maybe you should ask him that? TATA.
• India
2 Apr 10
Hi saphrina, I am totally agree with you friends should respect each others feeling and decisions, I don't what is his motive to insisting me but I also can't follow him, and I am also thinking about leaving him. thanks
@jinjer168 (1596)
• Philippines
3 Apr 10
Do not mind him at all, he didn't value you as his friend because he likes you to do something that you didn't like at all. You are a very hardworking guy so keep it up and look for much better friends other than him. It's okay to let him go, i think you didn't deserve to have a friend like him
1 person likes this
@jdyrj777 (6530)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Stand your ground. You are who you are and you should not be asked to change to continue a friendship. If your friend is really a friend then he should accept you as you are.
• United States
4 Apr 10
Do you honestly believe a "friend" would insist you drink with him to maintain the friendship? That doesn't sound like a friend to me. Think about it. Do you want to let other people dictate to you how you are to live your life?
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
3 Apr 10
He is not a friend. Friends to not DEMAND you do thus and so, or the friendship is over. He is a jerk. He's not treating you like a friend. He's not acting like a friend. He is not a friend. Ditch him, and find a real friend.
@RachelleNH (1396)
• United States
3 Apr 10
Very strange-I think I'd be dumping him...he sounds like a bad influence for you. I don't drink or hang out with those that do. I think that he should enjoy sharing your company and not his bad habits-and if he refuses to be your friend because of it..so be it-I'd say that's no real loss. That's what you call an ultimatum.
@___SKY___ (541)
• Hong Kong
3 Apr 10
Hi! You can explain it to him in a nice way, If he considered you as a true friend, He must understand you, no matter what it is. Have a nice day!! Happy mylotting..
• India
4 Apr 10
Hiee vishalkgupta friends are one who understands and supports. u stick to your word, remaining he has to decide, whether he wants to remain with you or leave your friendship.
@Draeke (322)
• United States
5 Apr 10
If hes threatining your friendship over a drink, it's not worth keeping him around as a friend. I'd leave him behind rather than compromise yourself by bending to HIS will.
• Bulgaria
2 Apr 10
hi, vishalkgupta i think there's no place for ultimatums in friendship or love if your friend doesn't respect your way of living, then he is not a real friend no matter how long you know each other he just envies you because you are stronger and can resist i know others like him - if you give in he'l eighter sop seeing you or he'l find something else to acuse you because it's not the drinking, but something else brings this bad in him the only thing you should do is to gain back your selfconfidence - after all he keeps looking for YOUR company although you don't drink, right? :)
@pratheep87 (1227)
• India
2 Apr 10
Is your friend is worth than your gold time and health? Just leave this silly friendship or you approach him to leave drinking habit
@1anurag1 (3576)
• India
2 Apr 10
there is a psychology behind this. any person who is in addiction of any thing looks for the people who are like him to share. and if he does not find he just start forcing his friends. here i would suggest you to pretend just. dont be rude. just do an act once and next day say to him that your doctor has adviced you not to drink. i think may be it could work for you.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
2 Apr 10
Well, i feel a true friendship is never to compel on any things. So tell him straight and do not feel bad that you are hurting him. I really appreciate your principles and dont give away it for any one and tell them directly so thats the best way to respect friendship!