do you feel much older to your older sibling?

@mishyyu (217)
Philippines
April 9, 2010 12:53pm CST
I am the youngest and the only girl among my siblings.. my eldest brother is now married, has a baby boy and keeping quite a high-paying job, my second older brother is a free lance architect, so he's quite successful being just self-employed.. and me I also have a decent job with a 5 digit monthly salary.. all of us are already working professionals except my third older brother.. he has been in and out from jobs as a call center agent because of his health and work preferences.. my parents gave him ample money to go to another city to look for a job and after a month, he went home without any success story and went back to his same slacking situation.. ever since, he has been borrowing money from me 'coz I think I'm the only one who will sympathize.. I am still single and I don't have my own family to think about yet.. even to the last centavo I have, I never refused to lend him even knowing he won't be able to pay me back.. Whenever he asked for a bigger amount, I would just tell my mom about it and so she's the one paying me.. It is just so frustrating in my part because I'm the little sister, I should be the one asking him to give me a treat, but its the other way around.. I just don't know how will I able to survive and save up for myself with this situation.. I also don't want to be mean to him because I know I'm the only one he relies on when he needs to borrow something..
5 responses
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
Hi mishyu! You have a good heart 'cause although you feel bad about your bigger brother always borrowing money from you, you still help him with his financial problems, but have you ever thought that you and the rest of your family is just making him even more lazy? From what I see, you're tolerating his attitude of just being an easy going person with no responsibilities in mind. He will keep doing that to you. He's taking advantage and your brother will not try his best or push himself a little more to improve his status in life because he has your family to always lean on. Yes, it's just right to help family members, but giving off, too much favors sometimes tends to be such not a good thing in the end. Try saying "NO" to him sometimes and tell him to help himself and find a good paying job. Hope that helps. Ciao!
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
Yes at home I feel I am a lot older than my older sister. My sister always ask my opinion when it comes to decision. She thinks I am more smarter than her but I have weaknesses too. When we are together like going shopping, she always ask my opinion about dresses, even what hair style she will choose. IF I am not with her,she will text me instead. And in family matters, whenever we have meeting with the family members, she always wait for me to arrived before starting. My opinion is really important for them. They thought I can handle my life easily because I never shared a problem with them, but I am not.
@bulastika (5967)
• Philippines
10 Apr 10
Me, I'm the baby so I never feel older than anybody..lolz. If fact they treat me like a teenager even though I'm 30's already. I guess that is my role.lolz. Its nice to be the only boy because I have everything. And the restriction is more than a princess..lolz.
9 Apr 10
As much as I agree with you giving him money, after all he is your brother, but if this is a regular thing then he hasnt really got a reason to get a regular job, he knows that he can rely on you so is not really worried about whether he is earning enough. Im not saying that you should stop lending him money, I dont think there will be a right answer to this as its a very sensitive subject, money and siblings, but its not really fair on you, you work hard for your money, and it should be yours to do what you want with it. You could start a savings account and then if he asks for a large amount tell him that you cant afford it, I can tell that you really care for him but you dont need this pressure, what will he do when you decide to start a family and cant lend him any, he will need to learn to stand up on his own feet.
@mdvarghese (1789)
• Bangalore, India
9 Apr 10
Hi..mishy I have a brother,who is 17 years younger than me and one brother two years younger. I have one sister two years older than me and one sister four years younger than me. I understand your situation. My younger brother is also like your brother. We tried to support him for years and we never felt any improvement on his side. So one by one gave up. Atleast now he realised that, he has to do something for the survival. I think the Indians and Philippines have more family attachments than any other society. So we are more concerned about our siblings, cousins, nephews, nieces etc..etc