After Love marriage whether love increases or decreases ?
By Gany15k
@Gany15k (1673)
India
April 16, 2010 9:16am CST
I'm really interested in Love marriage more than arranged marriage..I know that my love will never reduce in any situation.In my country there are lot of people I see they just do love marriage against their parents and suffer and get separated..Why it is so..? The elder people say that if you did love , then your life gets over..I won't accept this but what they say comes true by some people..I don't why I love .. "love" a lot..So I wish to have a love marriage...
I know that there some of people who had love marriages...I want to ask them whether they still maintain their love or you gave up due to ego problems or any other..
And for other people what you think whether Love increases or decreases after love marriage...?
Be practical..and shoot your views..In my point of view love is just something a new world given so I will never leave it behind..so It will increase in me everyday for sure...
1 person likes this
17 responses
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
16 Apr 10
Both. Love is like the tide, it increases and decreases and then increases again over time. If there is a solid foundation of friendship and compatibility underlying the love, then the match will be more likely to succeed, that those that are based on love alone.
In talking about friendship...do you and your intended have common interests and opinions? An old saying is that, "If a family plays together, it says together".
Good luck! If your parents are against you selecting your own bride, just let them know that their feelings toward her will grow over time, just as yours might have for the bride they selected for you. No harm in turning the tables on the agrument (into your favor 
).
).
@Christmas2006 (1661)
• United States
16 Apr 10
I think in an arranged marriage it would have to be part of the attitude you enter into it with. If you wnat to work to make it work. What I would be concerned about in an arranged marriage is the knowing each other and personality or character. Wow what if you end up with a 'summer and winter'...what a storm that would make!
We don't have arranged marriages here I think that went out about 150 years ago or more.
Marriage takes everyday work. Communication, respect for each other, concern and caring for each other. But it is everyday for the rest of your life. Also it takes two people working together for the same goal, making the marriage work. Best of luck to you.
@1hopefulman (45111)
• Canada
16 Apr 10
Romantic love is subject to many forces, both external and internal. So what will happen is anybody's guess.
We may love someone and if they love us than we can guarantee loyalty and faithfulness (because we can control these) but can we guarantee that we will always love them in a romantic way? I say there are no guarantees.
@indahfth (11161)
• Indonesia
17 Apr 10
whatever happens after marriage will be very diverse. there who, after marrying the love faded after the passage of time. There is love after marriage it becomes normal, not increased nor decreased. There is also an after marriage, their love growing. all depends on the couple's own.
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
16 Apr 10
Hello sweetie. You know, no one can ever tell you if love decreases in a marriage. It all depends on the couple and the relationship they have. Most cases i know, love definately increased. You will have a love marriage, that i know. And i know that you will never leave love behind, no matter what. So, marry the one you love, that love will increase everyday. TATA.
@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
17 Apr 10
i dont know about arrange marriages but my parents wanted me to marry someone they like. in our country we have the right to choose who we like to marry so i marry the woman i love, i choose. we are married for 7 years already and we have a four years old son. i can say based on my experience the love that i have for her has increases after all this years. she never fails to amaze me. we of course have our ups and downs and differences but we face all this with holding hands.
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
17 Apr 10
i think the love will always be there..but to maintain it or if it increase or decrease it depends on the couple. as for me, i think my love for my husband increase as time pass by. the longer i stay with him, the more i know about him and the love grows day by day although there are times that we also quarrel on somethings, but it does not lessen the love we feel for each other.
i think a couple should also put some effort in keeping the love alive & burning!
its good for a couple to keep the respect trust and love that they have for their partner in order to have a happy & lasting marriage.
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
17 Apr 10
It really depends on the culture. It is so much easier to accept if you enter in an arranged marriage if you see it all around you. It is also difficult to accept if it's not something people around you do normally. Feelings change, what you feel today may not be the same tomorrow. The success of the marriage depends on the couple. If they exert effort to make it work with or without love, then they will likely succeed. The only difference is, a person will more likely exert more effort to make the relationship work if there's love in the picture.
@bystander (2292)
• Philippines
17 Apr 10
many a marriages have been consummated for love, or so the couples would like to believe. love for the girl or boy, even reciprocal love. but others do it for some other kind of love... love for the beauty of the girl... love for the looks of the boy... love for the wealth of the boy... love for the wealth of the girl... and so and and so forth... but among these different types and objectives in marrying, only true, unconditional and reciprocal love will endure... it will even increase with the years spent being married... and this kind of love surely goes beyond words and actions, there is the spiritual bond between the couple who love each other this way and get married...
@tomitomi (5429)
• Singapore
17 Apr 10
initially it's always the physical attraction. it's difficult to deny because that's the first thing one sees. you have to go beyond the physical. look into the inner beauty. it's just as wonderful. you can see it in her words, her gestures, her mannerisms, how she receives you at home back from a hard day's work. and it certainly can be felt. spend lots of time together and communicate as much. look out for her strengths and compliment her as much. show and demonstrate how you want certain things to be done. but appreciate all her efforts. trust, being honest and always being there. that's how i keep my marriage alive...
@dreamsharmin (2281)
• China
17 Apr 10
After marriage love should increase,is it not. But usually it's not happen. I am unmarried. But in my experience i saw love marriage after marriage love decrease. But some are exceptional. some love increase. Because there love is true. All people love is not true only few people's love really true. Though it's rare to get. So i believe true love never decrease it just could be increase. So i prefer true and honest love marriage but not against my parents.
@caliya (1168)
• Philippines
17 Apr 10
love should grow as you grow old together. wouldn't it be nice? but reality is it doesn't happen all the time so i guess we just have to be realistic and be open to all possibilities but still i hope for the best and somewhat open for the worst that could happen.
@tessah (6617)
• United States
17 Apr 10
ive had a marriage of convenience, and a marriage of love. both have ended. the first because i didnt love him, and wanted to find love finally.. the second, he so obviously didnt love me, and try as i might to make things work.. he ran off with a chick he found "easier".
whether you love someone always or not.. really makes no difference if the other person decides youve lived out yer usefulness to them.
will i go for a third? yeah.. ever the romantic i know that love does indeed exist, and one of these days, i will find it. fact, im pretty sure i already have 
@yoursjannat (839)
• India
16 Apr 10
Hi Gany,
No buddy,there is no measure for love because love is spontaneous.What matters most after getting involved into a stable relationship,is an increment in responsibility-a responsibility for your family,which drives you out of activities that makes you taking great care of your family and hence a drop in attention to the members you really do care for which may sometimes pose as an decrement in love,but that's certainly not true.Hence,the point is how you manage both the outer world and your family.
Thanks,
Happy MyLotting!!
@yresh12 (3210)
• Philippines
17 Apr 10
I think that it's the risk that lovers do when they go to the next level. MARRIAGE is not like food that when you eat it you just spit it out.
Marriage to become successful needs lots of patience and understanding to work.
To give more and expect less. I think that we have that kind of tolerance and have a good partner.
