Years of misinterpretation corrected

It is great that the two of you were finally able to talk about that and get everything out in the open and cleared up. I am sure that it helped both of you. Yes, there have been several times that I have either mistaken something that somebody said or did (or vice versa) and neither of us spoke of it for a while. What I have found, though, is that no matter how painful or hurtful it might seem at the time talking about it usually makes everyone feel better, especially since it is usually not whatever the person thought to begin with - what I mean is that it usually is a misunderstanding and the person had no idea that they did anything hurtful (myself included).

I'm glad you got to clear that one up. I had a conversation with my dad. Told him the reason I never confessed to ANYTHING growing up was because of the time he promised us that if whoever got into the Halloween candy fessed up, he wouldn't punish them. So I fessed up and got spanked. His response was something like, "well we did the best we knew how to." Oh well...

So much for your good intention not to upset your mother.Now, at least thank God after forty years you had the opportunity to make the issue clear to your mother.As for me, I too beliEve that misunderstandings must never arise and everything should be cleared as soon as possible with people who really matter.

I helped two friends of mine get together and sort out a misunderstanding which had seen them have a falling out. They had never actually spoken about the events before, but just started putting down each other to other people behind their backs. Nothing harsh, just little niggly things. These two friends were friends with each other before I knew them and when I met one, I then met the other and became friends with them both. When I got married in 2006, I invited both of them. I have moved interstate from where we all were friends together and one of them actually moved away too, and he ended up only an hour from me. I see him every now and then still but keep in touch with the other one who still lives where we grew up more often. Anyway, the one who still lives down south was very hurt when the other moved away without saying goodbye or even telling him. The one who moved away had about a year earlier overheard the other telling someone else about someone and putting them down and he assumed that he was talking about him. This misinterpretation led to a spiralling dislike of each other but once they got together over a few drinks at my wedding and talked about the issues that they had with each other, they realised that it was just over a silly mistake and became friends again. As we were staying on a mountain for the wedding, a lot of the guests stayed in rooms there too, so I put both of these guys together in a room. They were both nervous about seeing each other, but they knew that they had to sort it out, which they did!

Wow it's good that you have actually cleared things between you and your mom but 40 years was a long one. I'm a bit annoying when it comes to things like this because I just don't want to have some misunderstanding because I know sometimes I'm insensitive. SO basically it doesn't take that long to correct something but the process is not that light because the heavy feeling is still there and if one cannot handle things well it could make matters worst

Back then i never really stared long enough on people's faces while i was talking to them cuz my aunt said to me when i was a kid that it's rude to stare on people's faces. My supervisor cleared that to me during my training and said that whenever i'm talking to someone, it's an effective way of communication to look at the face while im talking to them.

I have personally never had to face the kind of misunderstanding you have had to face.But I came close to it.we (me and my siblings never discussed much about my family when we were kids, and I was always a kind of reclulse,into books all the time.but now,as adults,having been married and had two kids,I now feel that I need to clear up all the misunderstandings I had as a child.I did that to some extent and i am all the better for it.It does help to lighten a load from your mind and gives you the strength to move on.I believe that everything should be in the open, the more closed things are,the more misunderstandings arise.But ofcourse,as a child,we hardly know what experience has taught us now. I am glad you cleared up the misunderstanding with your mum.atleast you will not feel guilty anymore that you had to keep something away from your mum.