Have you ever given up on love?

broken heart - image for people who fell out of love or got hurt by love. =)
@owstalaga (4555)
Philippines
April 22, 2010 9:24am CST
I'm not talking about when you're already married, more like if you are engaged or have a crush or a boyfriend/girlfriend. If you know in your heart that you're not really for each other but you still want to make it work do you give up or still hold on? Wouldn't you think it's pointless to hold on to something you know wouldn't last? Me i think i'm going to give up on someone even though we haven't started anything yet. I know in my heart it's pointless but still i want to try it out that's why i get really irritated when i think of him... haha. Anyway so how about you? What do you think about 2 people whoa have feelings for each other but is having a relationship that will not or would not work out?
3 people like this
20 responses
@laydee (12811)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
Humanity's weakness is not knowing what would happen next. Nobody could really tell if you're wrong for each other or if you've found the 'right' one for you. I could remember way back in high school, we were said the be 'good friends' so we tried to break-up our dear friend with her boyfriend because he was 'bad company', years after - they're still together and finally getting married. So, were we wrong for trying to break them up? Similarly, there also came a point in my life where my mom and I tried to keep the relationship of one of my brothers together. Advised him to not leaving her, her to being more patient, etc. They ended up marrying other people. So, was it our fault we felt their love was so true? I don't think we could ever know what's right for ourselves or for someone. Which is why, after several years with the same love. Regardless the problems and the joys that come our way, I never expect anymore. I have given up to 'planning too much' to 'thinking too much' to being 'paranoid of him finding someone else'. But I have never given up to praying that God will show us both the way. I have given God the authority to tell us if we're for each other or not. It's simple that way. I need not think too much to becoming overly attached. If he must go, then I can't do anything but to let him go. He knows how much I love him so if he still would like to leave - then it's his choice. I've given up to immature love. But I'm never giving up to forever - who he may be.
2 people like this
@owstalaga (4555)
• Philippines
2 May 10
Wow laydee thanks for sharing that... indeed love is really a mystery... *sigh*
1 person likes this
@laydee (12811)
• Philippines
8 May 10
Thanks for the best response mark!
@dawnald (84070)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Apr 10
I've been holding on for way too long...
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31738)
• South Africa
22 Apr 10
I would not pursue such love or such an relationship. That will get you nowhere. I would rather give up than waste my time. TATA.
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7829)
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
Hmmm, sounds pretty logical. If you know that its pointless, why continue to pursue something that you wouldn't really gain in the end? There are lots of these every now and then which isn't surprising at all. We hear from people we know, we hear it from people who heard it from other people they know or we get to read such stories from books or watch it in a drama series if not in the movies. Some people end up being happily together while there are those who sadly have to move on from such devastating experience of having their affection unrequited. In those situations, its often hard to apply the suggestion that you should just accept what happened and move on. If the couple really likes to be together, they would really try their best to make their relationship work. Easier said than done, of course. They would encounter contradictions to their relationships and even within their relationship alone would they get to experience dilemas that would really test their bond with each other. As long as both individuals involved really do like to make the relationship work, things would turn out favorable for them. If one of them is not really up to it, the other one would just have a hard time and eventually give up as well.
@owstalaga (4555)
• Philippines
6 May 10
yeah, that makes it a really troublesome relationship. Tsk. It's gonna take a lot of hard work if you both have different personalities and clash a lot but want to stay together. I mean if you're just starting the relationship what more if you get married eh? Better think about it first before getting married if that's the situation...
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7829)
• Philippines
6 May 10
That's why they should spend time to get to know each other. Get to know each others flaws as well as good qualities. We try to be the best that we could be for that person because to us, they should that person who can bring out the best in us and motivates us to self-improve without actually being told to but, we do it outselves for the person. It shoudl also be the same for the other person as well. Sometimes, people just get carried away and get married as if they have this notion that they would live happily like story books would conclude on romance yet, later on find out that their aspiration for such a story to be possible in real life is just fueled by idealistic thoughts. That's why couples should start being a couple at first and see how long they can last until they can finally decide if they want to spend the rest of their life together in marriage or just look for another person in case the one that they are with isn't exactly the one that they want to be at all
@owstalaga (4555)
• Philippines
13 May 10
Yup you're right. Alas, too many young people today do not think and find time to get to know each other more before getting in a serious relationship.
1 person likes this
• Japan
22 Apr 10
that is happen to me i have friend that i am starting love him as he do he so busy at work and well yes i am busy too at first we likes to hang around and call each other every day on phone or even texts message but thing is change since we dont have much time to meet again and when talk in phone is same as something hard to do so,we like each other we care,but condition and situation not in our site was very sad when he start quit and move a way with no sound hold out or good bye,is hurt to wait and love him much when know all will not be happen for me,since he not make decision to stay or leave i am the one moving out,tired of loving him,want him,need him when he is not may be he want to but he can`t so what the point to stay still when knows will be not happen for last in happy relationship so i still cry but i will forgot about it when i find the right one also for him still hopping he find the best one.
• China
22 Apr 10
Fine.You are doing the right thing.But I just cann't give up.
@owstalaga (4555)
• Philippines
2 May 10
Yep, anitarei321 that's also one of the reasons why i can't decide if i should start a relationship with someone i know because i think it's just a hassle trying to meet him or be with him if we have different schedules and day offs... I don't think we'd have much of a relationship. Tsk.
@Shavkat (77804)
• Philippines
17 Aug 12
Don't be negative about love, we can't live without this kind of affection. Love is like a gambling. You van find the real one if you tried it.
@owstalaga (4555)
• Philippines
23 Dec 12
ah yes it is indeed somewhat like gambling. The bigger the risk the bigger the win. Ah well...
@LittleMel (14037)
• Canada
26 Feb 12
if it's not commitment usually I give 6 mths or 1 yr to see how it goes often it only takes 4 mths to see whether it will work or not after that I will decide whether to drop it or to continue
@owstalaga (4555)
• Philippines
1 Mar 12
i see... come to think of it i don't have any time frame for trying/starting out relationships and such. hm... maybe i should next time.
• Philippines
26 Feb 12
Personally, I think that when two people have deep feelings for one another, they should try to make things work even when they're going through tough times. Like if two people are so different from one another and those differences are only discovered when they start dating, they should try to see if those differences are the things that would make or break their relationship. You should give things time to marinate so to say in your relationship before making any final decisions. Take it from me. I was one to give up too easily when times got tough and I missed out on some really great people. Now I'm seeing someone who's almost exactly like me in every sense of the word and yet we're still having problems because now we're too similar to get along. But we're just letting things settle for a while before we make any rash decisions because if we lose each other, then we might only see what we really had when it's all over, right? My advice for you is to try to envision your future with this guy and if you can see a concrete, long-term future with him and not just the next few weeks or months, then I say you should give things a chance before giving up on them. And if you can't picture a future with him, then you should just give up. No point in spending your time idly with someone who can't give you a good future, right? Hope I helped. :D
@owstalaga (4555)
• Philippines
1 Mar 12
Yeah that's true, if you both have deep feelings for each other you should try and see if a relationship will work. And if we can see ourselves being with them for longer than a month, a year or so then i believe the relationship is good for both parties. As for me well it didn't work out back then even if we gave it a chance. I didn't really see my future with him as well so it was all pointless. I also check if a guy and me would have a lasting relationship before getting into any kind of relationship. But usually if i don't see any future for both of us i don't even bother.
@monkeylong (3146)
• Guangzhou, China
23 Apr 10
As far as I am concerned, I think sometimes, I will feel that I am going to give up on love,which is the greatest thing in the world. I think I am going not to begin a new love,just for my former has harmed me so deeply,which makes me a terrible thing for me. So I am giving up? Is it needed me to have a new love? I think I just do not know, I am afraid of the love. I choose to give up on live in my life.
@owstalaga (4555)
• Philippines
6 May 10
hey don't totally give up on all kinds of love though... I'm just saying maybe we should think twice before getting in a relationship if you know it wouldn't work out even at the start. XD
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
this situation must both of you have to decided about this matter., whether you continue and work for it, or stop for it for the better., but if you want to work it out., make this some discussion, what is the problem between both of you., tell all your wants and don't. have trust to each other. make an agreement for giving a chance for atleast a month., observed if this will gonna work out.,
@owstalaga (4555)
• Philippines
6 May 10
that is if you still want to work things out if there's a chance but if there is very little chance of success why bother with the feeling pain?
@kenruno (35)
• Kenya
23 Apr 10
You are just postponing the inevitable. It is better if you let go earlier before things start getting complicated. If I were you, I would be looking for the best way to ease out of the relationship as possible without inflicting too much pain. Please stop leading him/her on. It is so painful to know somebody was taking you for a ride.
@owstalaga (4555)
• Philippines
2 May 10
well actually no one is in a relationship right now. We're just in the stage where only our eyes do the talking... tsktsk...
@edorms36 (267)
• United Arab Emirates
23 Apr 10
It is useless to start a relationship when you know first and foremost that it will not work out. We enter into relationships with the hope that it will prosper into something that is for a lifetime or will last, where both can grow together as a person. It will not do any good to start something that we already know will be doomed in the end, by doing so it might make us a bitter person.
@owstalaga (4555)
• Philippines
2 May 10
yeah that's what i think too, but feelings and thoughts are really two separate things so it just confuses me sometimes... haha.
@marmar75 (168)
• Australia
23 Apr 10
On a crush, yes, I have. It's just so tiring to wait and wait and wait, and the guy I like who likes me too, is just too shy to move. I'm not the flirtatious type. Sure, I'd make a few little moves, just so he'd also know somehow that I like him, but after some time, if he still won't do anything, I'd give up and try to find someone else and sing, "I don't wanna wait in vain for your love."
@owstalaga (4555)
• Philippines
2 May 10
Yeah that's the trouble with some guys... Haha. However i think in my situation i might be quite dense on him... I'm not the flirtatious or friendly type too so therein lies the problem maybe... XD
@cbjones (1156)
• United States
22 Apr 10
I've given up on love more than once in my short life. Usually happens whenever a relationship ends with undesired results. In which case, the ending of said relationship would be that undesired result. There have been times when I met someone I'd like to date, while I was already in a relationship with someone else. It's tough when you have to see that person every day at the work place.
@owstalaga (4555)
• Philippines
30 Mar 11
yes that is true. It can be really tough if you work at the same place. *sigh*
@piya84 (2587)
• India
24 Apr 10
I have never been in such a situation in life before.There were times when differences arise and i broke up with other person.Bu when i knew there is no point in taking this further i broke rather than hanging there with thin thread.
@darkdeivu (257)
• Philippines
24 Apr 10
Yup I did, After having a trouble and always argued with each other.I finally give up, I think when you did not give intake in a relationship it will be come to break up. Relationship without understanding,patience, faith and love will not go longer and suddenly comes to breakups and will not be surviving in trials.It''s really hard to give up but If if you think its over you must move on.
@npadecio (161)
• Philippines
23 Apr 10
Hey owstalaga. I'm married already but just to share my past experience with my ex. We were doing just fine and I always wanted to work things out whenever I engaged myself into a serious relationship--everybody does. It came to a point that I became so busy with my job that I was able to see her only once a week. We had consistent communication but for some reason, she had another guy who got more time than most people have. I would never found it out until she told me, she couldn't stand her guilt. I broke up with her but since I loved her so much that I gave it another shot after few days. But it did last for few days and finally decided to cut the relationship with her because I've already witnessed her true colors. I would say that a relationship would not last if one or both of them can't accept the worst part in you to spend with for the rest of their lives.
@linzheng (24)
23 Apr 10
No,i never have given up on love!i believe that is God let us met so we love each other.
@ANTIQUELADY (36471)
• United States
22 Apr 10
Why fight a losing battle, forget it best u can & move on w/your life.
@basqui (3890)
• Philippines
22 Apr 10
Yes, I had it before. It was pointless since she don't want to do things that are meant for us to do so that we could get married. We parted ways and she married another that she had nothing to change on her ways. Well, I'm still single for now and looking forward for a wife. lol