What does submission mean to you?

@tolted (190)
April 25, 2010 11:53am CST
Hello everyone, In some cultures and religions, it is expected that the wife submits to her husband. I am a Christian (and I know other religions like Islam) we are told to submit to our husbands because he is the head of the home. Some women see submission as an act of slavery, being a door mate, pushover or always agreeing to what your husband says. I see it as a sign of partnership and allowing one person to be the captain of the "ship". What does submission mean to you as a wife. I would love to hear your views about this. Thank you.
5 responses
@manbir84 (134)
• India
27 Apr 10
It is not submission or act of slavery to our life partner.It is just sharing married life responsibilities.It could be act of slavery for some people and submission for some people.Are you ever think in way of husbands,what happens if they also thought like that and make their mindsets the burden of responsibilities etc etc.Then think for a moment that if both husband wife thinks like that then how the marriage goes.In most cases when people gets married no matters that male or females then they naturally adopt his/her responsibilities towards marriage successfully.Don't worry about it.I think you are going to married thats why you ask such questions or in other case you are newly married.
@tolted (190)
27 Apr 10
Hello, I am not worried about my role as a wife and neither did I ask this question because you think I am about to get married or because I am newly married. I asked because this is an area a lot of women have issues with and I wanted to get different opinions. Thanks for your comment
@mylila (104)
• Malaysia
26 Apr 10
Hi, I'm a muslim and I'm married to a wonderful man. In Islam, submission means being loyal and care for her dignity. Of course when you're married, your husband will be the head of the home or the primary breadwinner. Somehow you also have your rights to give out opinions and advice as well as making decisions in taking care of the households. In my marriage, decision making is 50-50. But most of the time I will head the decision making where my husband will provide the necessities, like groceries shopping, furnitures, clothes shopping.. To me, head of the home means the primary breadwinner and provider. A wife can help only if she's capable to help. A husband will make a decision, given that his wife agrees to it :)
@tolted (190)
26 Apr 10
I like your point about decision making been 50-50 and both parties have to agree. That's how it is in my marriage as well and it works just fine for us. Thanks for sharing
@Galena (9110)
26 Apr 10
it's not a part of my marriage. we are equals. no one is dominant or submissive by gender. in personality, I tend to be more the more dominant in character, and because he's quite laid back and easy going I very often end up taking the lead. on the other hand I am quite an indecisive person, so if it comes to making descisions about what we're going to do or where we're going, he very often makes that choice. however when it comes to dinner, I usually decide, as I am more likely to feel like something in particular or not feel like eating something particular. he's quite happy to eat the same meal several days in a row, whearas I get bored if I've eaten the same thing at all recently. so all in all, we are equal. our personalities compliment each other well. we are well balanced. there is no NEED for submission in a relationship. just understanding and co-operation. people seem to claim that there has to be someone that takes the final decision, but why should it always be the same partner? and why should the one who makes that choice be decided by which genitals they have? every single person has different qualities they bring to a relationship. we each have our strengths and our weaknesses. so we should each be aware of who has the most knowledge in a certain area, or the most skills, and choices should be drawn from the couples combined knowledge, with respect to the fact that one may have more knowledge or experience in that field than the other.
@tolted (190)
26 Apr 10
Thanks for your comment. I definitely agree with you that we are equal. I think for me submission is both ways. The bible says the husband and wife should submit to each other so that means no one is allowed to lord over the other. Another thing I have learnt from my marriage is that men NEED respect and women NEED to be loved. That could be a form of submission respecting your husband, and loving your wife. I agree with you that we each have our strengths and weaknesses so where one is weak the other is strong which makes a great team. I like the word you used- "well balanced". That is how I see my husband and I I choose to see submission in a positive light.
• Philippines
26 Apr 10
I am also a christian and we are told to submit to our husbands. But submission in a way that it does not violates the rules of God. If your husband make you a slave, it violates the rules of God, so we don't submit in those ways.
@tolted (190)
26 Apr 10
I totally agree with you. We are not meant to be our husband's slave. In fact in God's eyes we are equal. Submission isn't subservience Thanks for your comment
• India
25 Apr 10
hi, Husband is dominated to wife.what can she do?that's y.he is making servant(not for wife)she got good partnership its ok
@tolted (190)
25 Apr 10
Hi secretagain, Thanks for your comment. Are you saying a husband has the right to dominate his wife and she can do nothing about it. Please can you explain your point further so I can understand. Thank you