Is my best friend really a friend at all? Should I move to her town?

United States
April 27, 2010 3:01pm CST
I have a friend who I have known for many years. She lives about 35 miles from me in another bordering state. I am currently going through financial problems and need to find somewhere cheaper to live. She has been asking me to move to her town where it is cheaper. She also wants me there to be near her. I don't know if I should or not. I'm not just moving there for her, but she is a big part of it. She calls me her best friend, but in actually we are not. She is totally unreliable as a friend. I don't trust her because of how she has treated me over the years. We don't see each other a lot because of distance. We made a deal to take turns driving to visit each other. I have been coming to visit her, but she makes up excuses so she doesn't come and see me, but she will drive 40 miles away to see her boyfriend. Mind you this is the boyfriend who she cheated on, but he doesn't know it. She bends over backwards for everyone else, but when it comes down to me she won't do it. I asked her why she will drive for the boyfriend, but not for me and she said because "thats my boyfriend". She also uses people and lies. She constantly asks me to move up there, but why should I? She sucks as a friend and makes it seems like she cares for me a lot, but she doesn't act like it. I feel like a second class citizen. Like I'm not good enough and only wants to be my friend when it is convenient for her. Everyone loves her and thinks she is great, but I know otherwise. She puts on a front, that her parents don't even know how she is. She wants me to move, but I don't want to move to a town with a friend that is no good. My family has told me to leave her alone, but I don't have a lot of friends. She has diabetes and I want to be with her so I can there for her, but she uses her health problems as a ploy to get people to feel sorry for her. I don't know what to do. Should I move up there, but not rely upon her friendship? or should I move somewhere else? All I here from here is "we are best friends". That is not how best friends treat each other.
1 response
27 Apr 10
I moved from Oklahoma and moved to Lindale TX to be close to my best friend. It almost ruined my life. I am not familiar with that area of Texas and I was depending on her to show me around and help me out. She is the type of person that sleeps till noon or one everyday and is grouchy when she gets woke up. So it was really hard for me to find a way to get to where I needed to go. I have two small children and had to find a job. When I asked for help finding my way around she got really cranky with me and then told me that she would but she didn't want to be out long. So I feel like if she is really your bestie she will understand that you don't want disrubt your life...if you are comfortable where you are stay. You guys could take turns meeting and having lunch or you go to her place and then she could come to yours...take turns but don't let the distance interfere with your friendship. Good Luck!
• United States
27 Apr 10
I use to live where my friend lives now, so i am not a stranger to the city, but my friend is a lousy friend and I just don't know if she is worth the time to move back there.
• United States
25 May 10
My supposed best friend is dating my roommate. She works my last nerve and has decided that she must have it all her way and when my roommate wants to talk to me, she must be in the room because she doesn't trust me alone with him, but yet I live there on a full time basis, lol. If she is your friend she would understand the situation, but like my "best friend", maybe she isn't.