Anxiety Devil

Hey, I had the same thing after my first son was born. For many years, I didn't know what came over me. The confident me changed to a fearful me. And all of it was related to my son and that he would come in harm's way. It still continues but I've learnt to accept it and live with it. I love the little words of wisdom you gave:) Thank you...and yes, I'm learning the difference now:)

Good. You will feel much better when you can let things go!

Here are my words to live by God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

lol..I'm glad too. I don't like the freaky anxious kinds as friends :P I know how you feel....I used to feel nervous too when someone else copied from my paper. I've taken some decisions when I was younger. ...might not have been the right ones for me..but I don't regret them either. I know some of those experiences have moulded me into who I am today. And like you, I am peaceful from within.

As if we didn't know that already:)

Hey, I thought you copied my thoughts there! It seems we are the two sides of the same coin, isn't it!?

Hmmm...I would be anxious too if I went in with a headache and was told I needed surgery! I'm not really worried before a surgery ...but if I had a doubt about the necessity of one...I'd ask for a second opinion. Your body does know how to cope with the attacks...hiccups are easier to handle than bottled up anxiety.

My sister used to be like that (not sure if it is continuing). Like I wrote to one of the previous posters, a coping mechanism is better than bottled anxiety.

Sometimes a child does not realize that their fears stem from the pressure to please their parents or to perform well to others' expectations. I would feel the same way as a child even though my parents never forced me to perform well. I was one of the toppers at class all the time...but I was always anxious before each exam too....wondering if I would fail. Fortunately for me, I had a talk with my dad one day about this and he assured me that nothing would change if I failed and that they loved me for who I was and not my grades (though they were proud of me for it). When we had to suddenly move back to India during the Gulf War, I had just 2 months before I could give my high school public examinations. None of the schools would take me because it was too close for the exams and they didn't want to risk a failure. We managed to get into a school after paying a donation. I was anxious before I started preparations for the exams....I had no clue where to start...imagine having to learn a whole year's stuff in two months. At 15, it was a daunting task to do it without any help of any sort (I wasn't even able to make friends at school because there wasn't enough time). My dad had a talk with me one evening and said that he knew the kind of stress I was under and it was okay if I failed. 'Failure isn't a big thing and if you do fail, you can always give the exams the year after...no big deal if you miss a year of school. No matter what anyone says, I will be there to support you'. Those words relaxed me. I tried my best with no expectations for myself. I did pretty well (of course, I know I would have done better under normal circumstances).....and I was still at the top of my class :) The only irrational fears I have today are related to my children. I know they are irrational but can't stop them. I'm slowly learning to cope with them.

As a child, I know I could relate to exactly what you're talking about. I don't have kids yet, but I'm sure I will share some of those fears. Now that I'm married, I have fears about my husband during the day, of course, when I'm away from him. I fear that something will happen to him. He drives for a living, so I try not to think on what could happen, but be thankful for what is. It makes no sense to worry about things that will probably never come to pass, and if they do, then they were meant to be. Live will go on. I love your dad's supportive attitude regarding your education when you were younger. What a blessing to have such a wonderful person in your life! My parents told me the same things when I was growing up - that they would always love me no matter what, and that the outcome was ok as long as I did my best. Interestingly enough, though, they sure did know when I wasn't doing my best! However, the sad thing is that my dad would say one thing, and his actions would say another. I caught on very quickly. Since he's been an engineer all his life, I think he always somewhat expected all of his children to be brilliant. He liked to share things he knew with us along those lines - complex engineering stuff that, to this day, I have no clue about! I know he really truly wanted the best for us kids, but he had that competitive spirit in him regarding his kids. I guess he didn't look deep enough to see that he was hurting us more than helping us. Anything less than a straight-A report card was a disgrace to him. Growing up, it was really hard living with such high expectations. My mom, on the other hand, was extremely understanding, enough to even out my dad's high expectations, so that was a huge blessing. She was the mediator, trying to bring my dad back down to earth where he had to deal with reality - LOL! I know they tried their best to be the greatest parents they could be. I'm glad for them, but I'm finding out now years down the road perhaps why I struggled with all this worry. I'm so fortunate that those childhood worries haven't crippled me, but have made me into the person I am today. I think that time period in my life was when I was growing a backbone that I would soon need in my adult life! Thanks for sharing some of your childhood with me. It's always wonderful to be in touch with you, my friend.

That's great that you have learnt to cope with your anxiety attacks. Like I said earlier, it's better than bottled anxiety. I also liked the little advise given by the previous poster. It is a little prayer that we can all use.

I would earlier be anxious in most situations but would never let anyone know. People who knew me would be surprised if I told them how I felt inside. On the outside, I portrayed confidence and looked like I could take on anything in this world. The little things never affected me then either...but there were times when I felt that my life was leading nowhere. But I slowly realized and learnt to work on that and now when there is a setback...I know it's something I need to work over or maybe it's something I'm not meant to do.

That's a normal anxiety attack. Any irrational fears that you have?