Wedding Ring Lost

@lay826 (56)
Philippines
May 2, 2010 11:10am CST
What will you do if your husband lost his wedding ring? I've been mad with my husband because of his wrongdoings recently then one day, he will come home and will tell you that he lost his ring somewhere he's not sure of. I'm so very mad at him and made me more furious! Please I need your advise desperately. I cannot sleep well...the thought of it makes me mad at him over and over again! I even wished that I hope my ring was lost and not his, since he's not mad at me. Would appreciate receiving your replies soonest time possible. Thanks a lot!
6 people like this
14 responses
@Wizzywig (7858)
2 May 10
It wouldn't really make any difference to me. Its just an object, objects get lost all the time. Unless you think he's deliberately 'lost' or sold it, I dont see any point in worrying yourself over it. Though, in any case, its his ring to do what he likes with (IMHO). I'd just say I was sorry he'd lost it and let it go. I dont know where mine is.
2 people like this
@lay826 (56)
• Philippines
3 May 10
thanks for sharing your views. :) i'm a sentimental person. let's say that people possess own set of beliefs when dealing with things and which matters to them. for me, it's an object that really matters to me so that's why. :) take care. have a nice day.
@Wizzywig (7858)
3 May 10
Yes, I can quite understand why it really matters to you. I would probably have felt that way myself about 30years ago. Sorry, I wasn't trying to trivialise its importance to you - just didnt want you to feel so bad about it.
• Philippines
2 May 10
I probably would feel the same way you are feeling now. Of course it has a sentimental value to both of us. I felt really upset when my wife misplaced our ring. But I have come to realize that it's better to lose that ring than lose the person it self.
@lay826 (56)
• Philippines
3 May 10
yes...that's nice positive thinking rather than upsetting myself over that ring. thanks! :)
• Philippines
3 May 10
Good to know things are looking up for you. Your hubby must have a reason as to why he lost the ring. Have a wonderful day and have fun mylotting.
@cmjune76 (274)
• United States
3 May 10
So, go out and replace the ring. Take to your pastor and ask him to bless it again. Simple. the replacement ring doesn't have to cost much either... it's only a symbol. Over a year ago, I took my ring off to apply self tanner and when I picked it back up, I dropped into the toilet as it was flushing! My beautiful rose cut diamond wedding band was gone forever! boo-hoo! I am still heartbroken. But, we replaced it with another pretty ring. My husband wasn't mad at all...
@lay826 (56)
• Philippines
3 May 10
thanks for writing. :) yes, we talked about it. and he told me that he'll replace it. i just hope that he'll replace it soonest. thanks for sharing your story as well. :) take care
@syndibee (799)
• United States
3 May 10
I personally have no connection to objects. I am not a typical sentimental female though. I am very happy to have my husband. He does not wear his ring, he only wore it the day I put it on his finger and maybe one time since. It is in his dresser. I wear my own wedding band without removing it at all. I know that if I were to ever take it off mine would be lost. I know my husband thoroughly though. I know that ring means nothing to him. It was a symbol at our wedding, placing the rings but the rings themselves are not the symbol. The act of placing them and saying those words telling each other and our guests that we pledge our lives to each other is where the meaning is. It's in our hearts. I don't worry about a cheaters heart because that's not my husband. I am not his first wife and I know he has no issue with divorcing if he no longer feels that pledge is valid. He would never pretend to still be devoted to me as he was seeing anyone else.
1 person likes this
@lay826 (56)
• Philippines
3 May 10
thanks for sharing your story. i've had so many shortcomings with him from the start of our relationship so when his ring was lost, i was desperately furious to him. thanks again. take care.
• Philippines
2 May 10
wow that is a very valuable thing you ever have..i think you have just misplaced so try to look for it so that you wont find reason to replaced that very special thing for you.. I couldn't help myself but sorry if your wedding ring was lost..where did you order you wedding ring., maybe the jewelry store could still remember the ring which you have bought and in this reason the pain in your heart will be lesen.
@family4 (53)
• Canada
2 May 10
In my situation my husband lost his wedding ring within a week of our wedding. His work is a very dirty, greasy environment and his ring fell off his finger. I did hear afterwards from previous co-workers (as we used to work together) that he searched and searched for hours and was very upset at work that I was goign to kill him. When he came home that night from work he was so upset that I felt so sorry that i could not be mad at him. We do have a running joke in our house that i buy wedding rings in bulk as I have bought him 3 in total. The first which was lost, the replacement of that was found to be of not real gold and he had a very bad reaction to it and the last he keeps at home and only wears for special occassions. I have never spent much on any of the rings I am an ebay fanactic so it is not that huge of an issue. i can understand that if the ring cost a lot that it can be very upsetting to have lost something that had emotional and finanical value. From being with my husband for 13 years i have found that he express different emotions then i would in situations. He can be defensive when I would be apologetic, angry when i would be sad etc. I do get a little annoyed that he does not wear his ring all the time but i understand his reasoning. My annoyance is more that people (women) will not see that he is married (and mine) and want him. But thining logically thousands of people could want him but he only wants me and thats all the matters in the end.
@lay826 (56)
• Philippines
3 May 10
thanks for writing. i'm a sentimental person and it doesn't matter to me even if an object costs expensive or not, but rather, i value it because of its importance. thanks also for sharing your story... have a nice day ahead! :)
@phyrre (2321)
• United States
2 May 10
I agree with a previous post, that it wouldn't much matter to me because it's just a ring. The important thing is what the ring symbolizes and that might be the sad thing in losing it. However, if he might have intentionally lost it and you're thinking he might be cheating or something then that's a completely different matter altogether and one you're going to have to confront him about. If not, then just buy him a new ring if it really bothers you. My husband is really prone to losing and breaking things, so when we bought his ring we got him titanium (which is far less likely to break than most bands) and we only spent $50 on it, so if he loses it it won't be such a big deal. We'll just go out and get him a new titanium band. If it really does bother you that he lost his ring and it really was an accident then you need to ask yourself why it bothers you so much to where you're this angry. There's got to be some reason because most people would just say ok it was an accident, let's get you a new one. So if there's something underneath causing that anger then you need to address it and take care of it otherwise your relationship might be in jeopardy.
1 person likes this
@lay826 (56)
• Philippines
3 May 10
like what i've said, i'm a sentimental person. i value things especially if they are really important. if i was the one who lost my ring, as soon as possible, i would go to the jewelry store where we purchased it and show them my husband's ring to produce a new one exactly like it...though it'll entail me extra charges because if it's no longer available, they'll do me a favor to create the same design we bought from them few years ago. thanks for writing. ")
@sid556 (30989)
• United States
3 May 10
Sounds as if you two have a severe lack of trust going on. When I was married, my husband did not wear his ring most of the time because he worked construction and it was dangerous. I didn't really care. If he'd lost it, well, things happen. Sounds to me as if there is more going on between the two of you than just the lost ring.
@lay826 (56)
• Philippines
3 May 10
yes, he has bad habits that he keep on doing recently again and again and made me more mad at him when he lost his ring. he even thought of that we may separate from each other because he had commit so many mistakes, wrongdoings to me. thanks for writing. :)
@sid556 (30989)
• United States
3 May 10
Hi Lay, I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds as if the ring itself is the least of your worries at this point. What are his "bad habits"? how long have you been married? I ask not to be nosey but because most things in a relationship can be worked out. Sometimes we have to compromise and accept each other's imperfections and just focus on their good points as long as those imperfections aren't harmful to our well-being. The ring really is not your problem. It is just a symbol of a love that should be greater and stronger than the symbol of it. If it isn't then you and your husband need to focus on what your real issues are and work on them.
@lay826 (56)
• Philippines
3 May 10
thanks sid. the ring is like an ultimatum for me to really get mad since i'm a sentimental person. honestly, mu husband hard to make compromises. It's like that my motto will end like this "let it be".. in order for us to stay together or for me to lessen the stress and problems in my life. thanks for writing back. take care! :)
@TheCatLady (4695)
• Israel
19 Jul 10
It's just a ring. Your husband is what matters. Did you marry to be together or just to have matching rings? Believe me, if loosing a ring is the wort thing that happens, your lucky. Life will throw you many challenges,disappointments, losses and sorrows. It's important to let the small things slide off or you will be very unhappy.
@lay826 (56)
• Philippines
20 Jul 10
thanks for the advice cat lady. :) appreciated it so well. up to now, we haven't bought a new ring to replace/reciprocate the lost ring. perhaps, i might have manage not to worry that much well but sometimes i made a joke to my husband when is he going to replace it? or he'll forever stay married to me without it. probably, so many things are surroundings me so that make me more less worry on that ring. But still, it's in my mind. i am still more on the traditional type on that matter-sentimental. ;)
@evepin (723)
• Philippines
3 May 10
my initial reaction is to get mad but if i see that he feels bad he lost the ring then i wouldn't get mad at him. for me our wedding rings, though they are just objects, they are meaningful objects that symbolize our marriage and union. it is however not our marriage itself so if ever i do te mad i'd explain why too, so that my husband would understand me as well. but i will still try to calm down and just go with him to our jeweller to make another one for him. extra cost though, which is kinda irritating too, hahaha.
@lay826 (56)
• Philippines
3 May 10
yeah you're right! :) it's not that extra cost but the sentimental value behind the original ring... :( yes i explained that to him..and even told him that i can also be gone/lost from him when he doesn't change for the better. he had so many shortcomings with me recently and that made me more furious when he lost his ring! thanks fro writing! :)
@bluemars (952)
• Australia
3 May 10
Well I think it depends really. I mean if your man works in an office or a clean environment, then perhaps I guess you could be angry because he does not have a good enough excuses to not wear it. Like my hubby actually can not wear a ring to work as he will just damage it with the work he does. I did get him a cheaper on to wear to work but got so scratched up and thought no it does not matter, as it was just getting in the way of his work too. He has really chunky fingers so it was a big ring too. I suggest you make him wear a cheaper on, like a titanium one until he either finds it or replaces it. I would be more annoyed if I lost my ring actually because mine is very dear to me as I designed it myself and it took a lot of time and effort to get it made to my specifications and so is more valuable to me in that sense than his ring. But I do still want him to wear one but I know it is really hard for him to wear it to work but he makes an effort when we go out together. I don't think you should lose sleep over it, you just need to make sure there is another one there on his finger as soon as possible even if it is a cheap stainless steel one.
@lay826 (56)
• Philippines
3 May 10
thanks for writing. yeah, he's also not wearing it when he's in work because it may be damaged because he's in a technical side...he lost the ring from out of his finger, not sure of how it was gone! he thought that when he fall asleep in the bus he was riding, a robber might have snatched it from his finger...etc. yes, i'm writing for him to replace it as he told me. thanks!
@daliaj (5683)
• India
3 May 10
It is normal that we sometimes lose things. Once I lost my purse, another time my earring, a different time my debit card, etc. My mom lost her wedding ring. It is normal for people to happen. He doesn't purposly lost it. It was by mistake. So, please understand him. I am sure that he must be very upset about loosing the ring. At this time, you should give him support and calm him saying not to worry about that. It is just an object. You can get another ring for him and get it blessed by a priest and put it on his finger. It is not a big issue.
@lay826 (56)
• Philippines
3 May 10
thanks for writing..it's just that i am too sentimental. i even thought of, what if mine was lost? and how will he reacts? he told me that he'll replace it and i'm hoping that it will be soon. take care.
@Cutie18f (9560)
• Philippines
3 May 10
Did he take it off then? Why did he lose it if he was just wearing it? Hmmmm....I do not want to spark any suspicious feelings here, but if it happened to me, I would also be very, very mad and suspicious. He must have taken it off for some reason. Find out why. You should demand that he get another ring. It is supposed to be very precious because it symbolizes your marriage. Losing such a precious object is unforgivable to me.
@lay826 (56)
• Philippines
3 May 10
hi thanks for writing. I am too a sentimental person so that's why. He told me he will replace it and i'm just waiting for that time that he can really replace it though it's not the original, blessed ring when we got married. :( He told me that he's wearing it and not sure how that was removed from from his finger, he just noticed it that it's gone. he went back to the places and bus he rode but unfortunately wasn't able to see it. it was also raining then... the thought of it makes me feel so bad...thank you.
@skysuccess (8880)
• Singapore
3 May 10
lay826, If the relationship must fail; let it be the will of fate... not the will of man. I just cannot help sensing that you are both accumulating and amalgamating everything your frustrations, husband's wrong doings, disappointments and now his wedding ring. Wedding ring? Really? If you are having visionary plans to pursue this relationship adamantly, you will surely encounter endless obstacles along the way. I am not saying this to discourage you from loving the man you have chosen, but rather, to set you on the correct mindset first and picture reality, without having to love while reveling in delusion. There's only one way if you desire to love the way you want - that is to banish traditions and demonstrate your inexorable ideals in love - which is by having to succeed solely with the power of love against all odds and most of all above all conventions. If you do not have the inner strength to take on such daunting challenges, I would suggest just forget about this whole thing because your relationship will never be a bed of roses until you overpower traditional and conventional ideologies. The minute you slacken - you will lose this war rapidly and your relationship will start to disintegrate like vampire to sunlight. Comparing to other 'conventional' relationship - it is almost like you have twice the area to defend, with half the troops available. You can degenerate this relationship to societal pressure and appease the majority, but when your regrets start to sink in like viscous goo, nobody will share your emotional torment; you will live with the consequence of your choice. So, this is your choice where I hope that you take one step at a time and step away from conventionalism. The ring is significant but the imperfections of humans are significantly blatant as well. With your man, it's for a lifetime. Take care.
@lay826 (56)
• Philippines
3 May 10
thank you so much for that overwhelming advice. I really have had so many shortcomings from him..so it's really pissing off that even that ring can greatly make me mad at him...anyway thanks again still! :)