How would you react if someone read your personal diary???
By Tangeryne
@Tangeryne (412)
India
May 9, 2010 6:52am CST
Do you keep a diary? Write whatever you feel like in it whether its about something that made you happy, or sad, or something about a new crush or boyfriend? A diary is something personal, meant for me to keep and I wouldn't like anyone reading it unless I feel I can trust them and I allow them to read it. But what happens when someone,rather a good friend reads your diary? This happened to me. My friend ( let's call her Sue) knew I keep a diary and was very curious to know what I write in it. She literally wanted to read it. I warned her strictly against doing that. Later, another friend ( let's call her Mary) told me that Sue read my diary and Mary begged me not to confront Sue about it as it would spoil their friendship cause Sue made Mary swear that Mary should never tell me this. I was furious with Sue but haven't confronted her about it till now. I don't know what Sue's motives were- whether deliberate and intentional to snoop into other people's lives or because Sue liked a guy ( Rob) who was her friend but later Rob started talking to me more and we started dating and ignored her. So was wondering if out of sheer jealousy she went through my diary!! And the way tactic she used to read my diary really lowered my opinion about her!!! When I was in class, she said she wasn't feeling too well and wanted my room key to rest there. I never locked my cupboard cause I trusted my roommate and knew she wouldn't go through my things. I actually crossed my mind that Sue would go through my diary but I just dismissed the thought thinking I was being too paranoid. But that's just what she did!!!!! I don't know what she got out of it.
Have you been in a similar situation? How did you react- confront the person or let it go to save the relationship???
6 people like this
35 responses
@alocure (370)
• United States
9 May 10
i remember i use to have a diary i threw it away because people in my house use to try to read it and i hated when they do that. i mean i felt like if the person read what i wrote it would be a lot easier for me not to explain it because i hate explaining stuff sometimes. i had friends that i wanted to tell them something personal but i didn't trust them enough to so i just put it in my diary i wouldn't get mad i would be more shocked than mad
1 person likes this
@Tangeryne (412)
• India
9 May 10
So you wouldn't mind people reading your diary? Is that what your trying to say??
@Tangeryne (412)
• India
9 May 10
Hmmm.. I'm a bit confused. You don't keep a diary any more right? But if you did, you wouldn't mind someone reading from it? But then you say " its better for the person to know from me than to read if from some diary"????
@AjaySinghBaghel (5506)
• India
11 May 10
Yes, I have a personal diary but that has nothing that secret which can be seprated from anyone. There are few chapters which does not matter anymore if someone read them. I would mind if any one whom I do not know and he/she try to read my diary but someone whom I know and s/he know me, its fine.
I have never been in such situation like you :)
@Christmas2006 (1661)
• United States
10 May 10
I admire people who keep journals and I think they are met to be read or shared by them. I know some who do. But I also think a diary is a more personal item and not what you would want anyone to read. I never kept one but I think this is because somewhere when I was in high school I discovered what happened when others were read and the hurt and betrayed feelings. I developed a very early attitude of "if you don't want anyone to know something DO NOT put it into writting!!!"
@Christmas2006 (1661)
• United States
10 May 10
VERY TRUE, I have never vented that way, honestly, if I needed to vent that way, I wouldn't have the patience for it since when I am that angry I am an ACTION person. Needless to say, in my younger years I did a lot of THROWING things when I was mad! (still do though it is more controlled now) but to set patiently and write nope not me! Now when I need to vent I dare say the house can get a through cleaning!!!...I was so mad at my husband one time I came home and TORE everything in the kitchen out! Washed all the cupboards, dishes etc...took me all weekend but I had a clean kitchen in the end and most of my anger dispasted...if it hadn't I probley would have been packing & walking!!!!
You are very right..NOONE should be in your personal stuff. Do you need a lock box for these things? Just one that you can keep in your room not necessary a safe box but just a container that you can lock since it sounds like you have to share a room?
1 person likes this
@Tangeryne (412)
• India
10 May 10
True..but some people need a way out to vent out their frustration or if they feel the need to express something that they feel but are not comfortable to share it with another person, that's where diaries come into the picture. No other person has a right to be snoopy and meddle in someone else's life especially if the person has told them time and again not to ever try and read the book!!! Everyone deserves their own privacy!! I'm sure if our roles were reversed, she wouldn't like me going through her stuff either!!!
1 person likes this
@Tangeryne (412)
• India
11 May 10
Well all this happened like 2-3yrs ago. Back then I was in the college hostel. Now I've got my own rented house and a room all to myself but still I keep my diaries hidden away and under lock and key cause you never know which friend may come over and find them if they are lying around for everyone to see. So why tempt people.
I used to stay alone so when I said vent out frustration, didn't mean just anger but a whole lot of other emotions like pain, depression blah blah. Rather than tell somebody everything I used to put it down in my diary. Still do.
@busybee10 (3186)
• India
9 May 10
Reading others personal diary is very very bad. People who do not have commonsense do this type of acts.
We are taught all these points in our child hood as not to read other diaries,but still people even after reaching maturity do this type of acts - wonder, cant spare such cases. Should discontinue the relationship with such bad people.
@rinzgca (316)
• Philippines
11 May 10
I used to keep a diary during high school. It was a personal one where I wrote my feelings, whether angry, sad or happy. Like you, I also don't want anyone to read my diary. Mostly because there are embarrassing things in there I wouldn't want my mom, for example, to read. There are some stuff there that aren't for the eyes of my parents because they would hurt them. Of course, those were thoughts of a teen ager.
I would feel very annoyed, sad and embarrassed if someone read it, especially without my permission.
My impression of your friend Sue, is that she's a bit immature. She wasn't able to respect your decision. And made her own selfish desires lead her to reading the diary. She's also stupid. She didn't have to tell the tale to Mary. But anyway, if she is a real friend, for you, I guess, maybe just understand her. Maybe she just felt left out because you and this guy are hanging out and leaving her out.
@Tangeryne (412)
• India
11 May 10
Oh no, Sue is a very mature girl. Trust me, she has handled a lot of other things in a very mature manner. Think it was pure jealous that drove her to read my diary. Cause she was quite popular and had a great figure so she attracted a lot of attention from the guys. Guess she couldn't quite understand why Rob was ignoring her and instead talking to Plain-Jane me!! Yea I can't figure out why she told Mary in the first place as she knew that Mary and me are very close and that there was every possibility that Mary would tell me about her treachery!! Anyways, that's all in the past. But the day will definitely come where I will confront her about it!
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
10 May 10
Hi Tangeryne,
It is a dirty job to have a look on someone's diary without permission. Any way happened is happened. Warn her not to repeat. But you could have more bothered yourself. If you know that a diary is having notes of confidential matters, you could have lock the diary in a safer place. Because, a dairy is lying somewhere, or get noticed by someone, definitely, as a human being, we have a tendency to have a look on it. It is human psychology. But matured people will understand and they will not read it. Everyone is not alike that is why it is happened.
If possible, have a detailed discussion on it it and ask your friend not to repeat it again and you have done a very cheap act.
As a step forward, if you keep a diary keep it locked. Or can word process in computer and keep it as password protected. If a backup is there, again protect with password. Hence the file will be safe and no one can get a reach on it. Just imagine, if you were in your friends place and you happened to get the diary, will you read it. Please rate this incident and evaluate your friend accordingly and continue your friendship.
Best regards,
Thank-s
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
11 May 10
Good, experience is the best teacher.
Respect yourself.
Good luck,
Thank-s
@Aphroditei_5279 (2465)
• Philippines
9 May 10
My sister read my diary. It happened almost fifteen years ago. But I can remember how I was so angry with her. Because I trusted her, because she is not a snoopy person. So when I left for college, I left my diary at home, tucked under my bed. When I came back it was still there. But the lock was scissored all around...
It was very obvious even though the lock was not opened. 
I am laughing thinking about it now. I think I got angry because I didn't wanted her to know about my past secret boyfriend that only my mom knew about. And my other crushes in the neighborhood when we moved to a new home. Since then, I tried to write a new diary. But seems like the sparks of writting a diary was gone. But also I learned that sharing secrets between sisters is more fun than keeping them in a diary.
I think in your case, your friend became so curious or jealous. And she wanted to know the juicy details of your love affair with Rob. Sometimes, people can't help theirself to be snoopy. And you should confront her. Because she might do it again. And we don't know how worst she can become. Because jealousy, curiosity, is and will become a bad habit. (^^,)
It was very obvious even though the lock was not opened. I am laughing thinking about it now. I think I got angry because I didn't wanted her to know about my past secret boyfriend that only my mom knew about. And my other crushes in the neighborhood when we moved to a new home. Since then, I tried to write a new diary. But seems like the sparks of writting a diary was gone. But also I learned that sharing secrets between sisters is more fun than keeping them in a diary.
I think in your case, your friend became so curious or jealous. And she wanted to know the juicy details of your love affair with Rob. Sometimes, people can't help theirself to be snoopy. And you should confront her. Because she might do it again. And we don't know how worst she can become. Because jealousy, curiosity, is and will become a bad habit. (^^,)@Tangeryne (412)
• India
9 May 10
Even though my diary has been read, that doesn't stop me from writing. Well I keep a diary to write anything I feel like, so it just doesn't contain stuff about crushes or boyfriends but other personal stuff that I may not want someone else to see. I'm better off putting it down in my diary than telling it to someone. But I guess that differs from person to person.
I think she's just nosy and particularly was interested in reading my diary caused she fancied Rob. Anyways, Rob and me are through and she knows about that. Though she tries to be supportive about that, I'm sure she's gloating on the inside! That was all bad experiences then.
@mflower2053 (3223)
• United States
10 May 10
That is messed up if someone reads your diary. Its also bad luck. I didn't believe it until I read someone diary before. It was more like a book and I couldn't put it down. I really thought at first it was just a notebook until I started reading it. Then bad things started happening to me so I stay away from peoples diaries now.
@Tangeryne (412)
• India
10 May 10
I'm curious..when you say its bad luck reading people's diaries and bad things started happening, can you elaborate on that?
@screwdriver (643)
• Philippines
9 May 10
I dont keep a diary, but if im in your shoe i would be very honest with that friend and that Im very disappointed with what she did. Being a friend means trusting each other and respecting each others privacy.
@Tangeryne (412)
• India
9 May 10
Yea..but some people don't get that part, about privacy, and they probably never will!!!
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
11 May 10
hi Tangeryne oh I would be furious if someone had read my diary and I never had that problem as my mom honored my rights to have a private diary. I think my dad had snooped a few times but never caught him
so I never said anything. but this was all years ago when I was a
teenager, it was actually pretty tame as I was never a bad girl
just an overweight girl with few friends but a vivid imagination.
now I am elderly and write in a journal every day. I would do more'writing but I seem to spend all my time on mylot and guess I'
am addicted to it.
@Tangeryne (412)
• India
11 May 10
Lol..likewise. Think I'm addicted as well. And I'm not doing it for the money, haven't given my card details to paypal as yet even!!! Its nice to give and receive opinions and talk and discuss about anything under the sun!!
@anjel016 (329)
• Philippines
9 May 10
For me the very fact that she intentionally and even planned the whole thing. I wouldn't call her a friend no more. Invading your very own privacy with your diary is just very degrading!!! I don't know about you, but for me if someone (especially a very dear person to me) betrayed me it's hard for me to give that person back my trust. Even just a bit of it. I would confront here directly with it. But of course I will take into consideration their relationship (Mary-Sue) to each other. I'll keep the info regarding Mary and just to myself. Saving the relationship is not the issue for me. It's her being called my "friend" is the real issue. If she really was my friend, she will not do such a thing to me. For the fact that she did so, then there is no relationship to saved to begin with. If she wants to know stuffs about me, she can just ask me directly. And if I refuse to answer, that's for her to respect my decision.
@Tangeryne (412)
• India
9 May 10
I agree but if I confront her, the blame will go directly to Mary as she made Mary promise her not to tell me. If Mary wasn't involved, everything would have been very easy for me. I would go up to Sue directly and get it all sorted. I'm sure the end result would be the end of a relationship. But there's just no room for forgiveness if the person will do it again! I really don't mind ending a friendship if the person has hurt me. I can walk away and never look back even once. I have done it before and I won't hesitate to do it again!!!
@Tangeryne (412)
• India
9 May 10
True. Wish nosy people get the clue about the personal aspect of it!!!!
@roxxtime (299)
• United States
9 May 10
I wish I kept a diary but I don't have enough patience or discipline. I really respect people who can. I used to but similar things happened to me mostly from parents and siblings which is why I originally stopped. Should you save the relationship? I would say no. She proved she cannot be trusted and not only did she read it but went and told your other friend (who seems to be a much better friend) of yours. She will screw you over again guaranteed and next time may be bigger.
@Tangeryne (412)
• India
9 May 10
Yea.. that's the risk factor. My mom as well as my brother read my diaries but both of them realized it was something cheap to do so they didn't repeat it and I know their intentions weren't evil! I was more careful after that. I prefer to have a few friends who are genuine and not fake, who will stand by you and not betray and let you down. A few genuine friends are better than having a whole lot of friends who back stab you at any given time. So I don't mind losing Sue caused she proved how low she can stoop. Mary is my childhood friend so obviously she values me more that she values Sue. As I said earlier, I don't wanna screw up things between Mary and Sue so for the time being I hold my ground. If Sue ever brings this up, that will be the day I end our so-called friendship! Guess Sue is just nosy by nature. I can't really say if she does these things intentionally or if she's unaware of what she's doing. But this is not the first instance of her being nosy. She went through text messages of a mail friend of hers, which is again a sleazy thing to do as many people don't like others reading their messages. Anyways, don't what intentions these sorta people have!!!
@oldchem1 (8132)
•
9 May 10
I would be very, very annoyed if this happened to me.
Diaries are personal things, they are somewhere that you can pour out your really personal thoughts and experiences.
'Sue' is not a true friend to do this to you, there is no other way but that it was deliberate - she wasn't forced to read it.
I feel very sorry for you.
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
31 Oct 10
I don't really keep one, I haven't since I was younger and I never really stuck to keeping one.
However if someone read it without my permission I would become very angry, there very personal and I don't see peoples obsession with wanting to read them against someone else's wishes. I personally think it shows a major lack of respect and to consider those who do are probably not worth trusting.
I would react angry, I would want to know why but I haven't been in this situation and it's party due to why I don't keep one.
@dolce_vita78 (8062)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
Hi Tangeryne!
I would definitely be upset. I mean, my diary is something really very personal. Moreover, I am the type of person who wants my privacy respected. Once a person I trust betray me like how you were betrayed, it would be very hard, if not impossible, to gain that trust again.
@JudgeIronFist (2472)
• Singapore
17 Dec 10
That's indeed upsetting. To think you trust your friend with your personal things and they just betray your trust and take advantage of the privilege
. Well it didn't happen to me as in, it's not my friend who opened my diary, but my mother. It was like this...I kept a diary since the year when I was preparing for my major exams---GCE O Levels. During that time, I was exceptionally stressed and needed someone to share my feelings but I chose to write in a diary instead. Hmm...it was nice that I could keep the diary at a secret place and my parents didn't find it. It contained all my feelings everyday, after finishing one exam paper and the counting down to freedom LOL. Up till last year, she found out about the diary and when we were talking about something, she gave a hint that she found the diary, an obvious hint, "Mr Diary", as this was the name which I gave my diary. Hmm...actually the diary is a personal thing, so I think nobody can look at it except ourselves. What your friend did was really against the morals, seriously. But then, don't confront her, it'll affect the relationship between the both of you more, and if that happens and you see each other, it'll be a really a hard situation.
. Well it didn't happen to me as in, it's not my friend who opened my diary, but my mother. It was like this...I kept a diary since the year when I was preparing for my major exams---GCE O Levels. During that time, I was exceptionally stressed and needed someone to share my feelings but I chose to write in a diary instead. Hmm...it was nice that I could keep the diary at a secret place and my parents didn't find it. It contained all my feelings everyday, after finishing one exam paper and the counting down to freedom LOL. Up till last year, she found out about the diary and when we were talking about something, she gave a hint that she found the diary, an obvious hint, "Mr Diary", as this was the name which I gave my diary. Hmm...actually the diary is a personal thing, so I think nobody can look at it except ourselves. What your friend did was really against the morals, seriously. But then, don't confront her, it'll affect the relationship between the both of you more, and if that happens and you see each other, it'll be a really a hard situation.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
15 Dec 10
Before I was a mother and I had more personal time, I did keep a diary. However, since I've been a mother there are times that I can't even find the time in the day to brush my hair, let alone keep a diary. Now, when I did keep a diary, the majority of the time I would have said that it would have been okay for someone to have read it. However, in the last couple of years that I kept a daily diary, I had a very serious boyfriend and I would really not have wanted many people to have read about that relationship so it would have made me angry if someone had read it.
@Beautyfactor (1512)
•
9 May 10
I think I would be very upset if I found that someone I trusted, a friend or a family member had taken to reading my diary. It does go passed the trust line in my opinion.
Thankfully I have never been in the situation where this has happened to me, but while I avoid confrontations, this is one thing that I would need to be confrontational about. I also wouldn't end the relationship, but explain in a nice calm way how I felt upset and a little betrayed by their actions.
@Tangeryne (412)
• India
9 May 10
I agree with you. I would also like to confront her but I don't wanna make Mary look like a bad person or a snitch in Sue's eyes. So I'm waiting for Sue to bring up the subject. i know it may take a while but this will definitely come out and then Sue's gonna get a piece of my mind!!!
@Tangeryne (412)
• India
9 May 10
Its not a blog but a personal diary, the old fashioned ones where you actual write stuff. That's definitely an invasion of privacy cause I already told her repeatedly not to read my diary as its something sacred and personal to me. Just she broke that trust, crossed the line for her own selfish reasons!!!
