I finally quit my job. My EX-boss told me that I was whimpering..
By jeeyah
@jeeyah (1092)
Philippines
May 11, 2010 6:23am CST
Remember my post about my boss who's PMS-ing? If not, it's this one: http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2304325.aspx
Anyway, I finally had enough and quit my job last night. Well, he was correcting me about something, and telling me that I should fix it. I asked him what was wrong with it, because I followed his instructions and I believe that there's nothing wrong with what I did. So I asked him what he meant. He simply repeated what he said and started telling me that it was "clear as day", "how else can I read that", that I should "READ", that what he said was "as clear as it can get", then he suddenly went on ALL CAPS and EXCLAMATION POINTS. So, he was virtually shouting at me.
That's when I had it. I started answering back rudely. He still stands firm with his belief that he's not wrong, and that he never was. I also told him about those times when he mistreated me, showed him evidence, and even told him about all my other concerns.
What did he tell me? That I was WHIMPERING. That I was too juvenile and that he's not running a business of 1st graders. He still believes that he NEVER did anything that mistreated me. Even though the evidence slapped him on the face, he doesn't and will never admit it.
And what's more? When I quit, he was all telling me how I should find another employer who could put up with my WHIMPERING. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. Because for a long time, I've been keeping up with HIS PMS, and I never said a thing to him! Now that I actually told him about it, I'M WHIMPERING!?
Before he said that, I actually wanted to tell him that he should find another worker that could put up with his crap and arrogance and attitude problem. BUT I DIDN'T, because I still had some professionalism in me.
He even insulted me for the fact that I quit because I "got my feelings hurt", when that is not the issue!
Am I wrong for fighting for my right to be treated right?
4 people like this
16 responses
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 May 10
Sweetie, i did exactly the same with my former boss. They never really understand why we leave untill the day it really hits them. You were very right to stand up and make him see that you are not taking that anymore. And no, you weren't wrong for fighting for your rigts at all. TATA
@redhotpogo (4401)
• United States
11 May 10
Don't ever think that putting someone in their place is not professional. Your boss's behavior is unprofessional. Remember when working for a company, that you are the ones making them money. It your services that they need. Could they find another worker? Yes, but not one like you. Its their loss. So don't ever let someone bully you, or try to make you feel lower than them. Treat them like equals. Do your job the best that you can, but don't act like some slave. What you did was the right thing to do. Maybe nothing will happen this time, but its a start. If this person has a bad attitude then they can't possibly keep employees very long, and I'm sure their superiors are noticing it, and will do something about that problem by removing him.
2 people like this
@jeeyah (1092)
• Philippines
11 May 10
Thank you so much for the response, it really means a lot. That's exactly how I felt, a slave. But I kept up with it. Well, he's his own boss, so maybe that's why he feels too superior. I can't express how much I thank you for this response, and how much it means to me. I just hope that my ex-boss gets to read this so he'll realize that he's wrong. :/
@redhotpogo (4401)
• United States
11 May 10
He's shown what a bad attitude he has, and if he thinks he's superior because he has his own business, and treats others like that, I'm sure he treats his customers the same way. Eventually they will get tired of it, and the word will spread, and he won't have a business anymore.
1 person likes this
@CJscott (4187)
• Portage La Prairie, Manitoba
11 May 10
Most people never think they are the bad guy. Even Al Capone thought he was a good guy.
You will almost never get someone to admit the fault. And those that result to name calling when things do not go their way, are not worth my time, nor yours.
Of course you are right, in fighting for your right to be treated right.
I would of course also suggest learning how to, show people they are wrong without offending them, you would be surprised how a few slight changes in the way you say something, to make it look like it is not their fault(even when it is) and that it is easy to correct(even if it isn't) could go to making those conversations go easier and your more the way you want them to, and great place to start would be. How the Make Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.
With Appreciation.
1 person likes this
@jeeyah (1092)
• Philippines
12 May 10
I guess you're really right that most people never see their mistakes, and when they are told about it, it makes everything worse.
My mistake was that I wanted to let my boss know about it, in hope that he will realize and understand where I was coming from. Too bad I hadn't realized sooner that explaining to someone who thinks of himself as superior and perfect is useless.
Thank you for your suggestion, I guess it may really help. I should have learned about that before confronting my ex-boss. I was too consumed in my own anger and negative emotions that I just went on to say how I felt without even thinking. That sounds like an interesting book, and I'll be sure to read it. I'm going to look now if an eBook is available. :)
Thank you so much, CJscott!
@cheatedaphrodite (810)
• Philippines
11 May 10
Hi Jeeyah,
We had the same experience. I am also working online and I experienced this before with one of my buyers. He loves to make me wait but never get back to me. He keeps on doing this. In addition, when he has something for me to do, he will not give me perfect instructions, all he wanted is for me to finish the task the way he wanted. So what I did is work on the task in the best way I could but after submitting it to him, he told me I did not comply to his instructions where as he never gave me any detailed one. Therefore, what I did, I end up the assignment and sent him an email regarding the way he assigned each task and I told him he should be working with himself only or not he should be looking for someone who has a duplicate of his brain so he don't need to give instructions if he wanted something done. After that, I received a response from him saying that he's going to set up a virtual machine for me so we could continue working with each other. He even promised me a bonus but I told him I don't want to work with someone who blames other because of his own fault. He never said sorry, all he said was to contact him if I'm not upset anymore.
I am not only looking for money, I am also looking to working with other people in a give and take manner. It's not because he's the one paying you means he will do everything he wanted to do and would not even consider your time being wasted as well as your emotions.
@jeeyah (1092)
• Philippines
11 May 10
Thanks for sharing that, aphrodite. That person sounds exactly like my ex-boss. In fact, while I was reading what you said, I was prepared to tell you that maybe we're talking about the same person. But when I read what he had responded to you, I realized that we're not talking about the same person. Why? Because if I had told that to my ex-boss, he would immediately respond rudely. Just like now that I actually quit, he threw personal comments at me. But yes, even my ex-boss never said sorry. And oh, he also blames me because of his own faults. He never admits that he's wrong. :|
I agree with your last paragraph. I guess people like those guys are not worth dealing with. Even just conversing with them is a waste of time. I've tried explaining to my ex-boss, but all I got were rude remarks. And he didn't even try to understand. It's really no use talking to someone who believes highly in himself that he's not open to accept his own mistakes. Instead, he covers it up by blaming it on other people.
@cheatedaphrodite (810)
• Philippines
19 May 10
Yeah there are really some people who does not want to accept their fault because they don't want to disappoint their own selves. So better not waste time for them since I believe there are some people out there who is nice enough and human enough to deal with professionals people like us. hehe
@shibuuya_yuuri (71)
• Philippines
12 May 10
hello jeeyah..
hope you are fine now. we are walking in the same path, and facing the same monstrous boss. i am going to look for another job this coming may 22 or before that. my contract will end this coming may 22, 2010 and i know for sure that my boss will not renew my contract because of the complaint letter i send to hrd and quality managemnt review. he is very immature. i was having my ISO audit when he just came into my office and shouted at me, telling me not to let the faculty members to get inside the library. which is not really right. and the point is i was having a discussion with the auditor that time. he is an evil. .if only they would give just and fair investigation and decision on my complaint. but then ive heard that he is close to the management..i hate him so much.. we hate him so much...
1 person likes this
@jeeyah (1092)
• Philippines
12 May 10
Hi shibuuya, thanks for sharing that. You actually did the right thing by sending in a complaint about your boss. I really hope the management makes a fair investigation regarding the issue, and side with the one who's right. However, goodluck with your job hunting, and I really hope that you find a boss who will treat you right and is actually mature and professional enough. :)
@shibuuya_yuuri (71)
• Philippines
13 May 10
thank you too jeeyah..i hope to find a mature and professional boss.
@thyst07 (2079)
• United States
12 May 10
Ugh...is being an immature, selfish, mean person a requirement for getting a management-level job? Because in my experience, most bosses are like the one you described to some degree. I hate that once people reach management level, they seem to think that they can stop being decent to other people in their workplace. Congratulations for standing up for your right to be treated like a human being, and I wish you the best of luck in finding a new, better job (if you're looking).
@jeeyah (1092)
• Philippines
14 May 10
I guess it's the air that gets in their heads. You know what, I actually saw a post with my ex-boss saying that HE hated his previous boss when he was still working an office job. I guess he hates him so much that he's decided to be like him. Lol. Oh well. Thank you! I'm actually looking to start my own business of freelance writers, and no, I'm not going to be like any of those bosses. Lol. :)
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
12 May 10
hi jeeyah oh that was so rude and yet he kept on harrassing you.' I am
glad you stuck up for yourself. Yes we all have a right to be
treated like excellent employees not like slaves with a master
yielding a whip. that's so old fashioned yet there still are
bosses like that.No boss has the right to scream at an employee 
at all. Whatever problems the boss has he must treat his employees with 'respect and dignity. He lost his cool and was behaving like a juvenile, not like a person with dignity at all.
at all. Whatever problems the boss has he must treat his employees with 'respect and dignity. He lost his cool and was behaving like a juvenile, not like a person with dignity at all.@jeeyah (1092)
• Philippines
12 May 10
Actually my ex-boss kept on insisting that he never did anything wrong, and that he treated everyone with utmost respect. He said that right after telling me indirect insults and derogatory remarks. How ironic is that? What's also funny was that he called me juvenile, the nerve! He's the one who's so immature that he can't accept his mistakes, and can't address issues properly. He always lost his cool, and when it was my turn to lose my cool for the first time, he went on to make a tirade about it. Oh well, you're right. He's not like a person with dignity at all, so he's out to step on everyone else's dignity, too. 
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
13 May 10
A boss should respect his employees if he could not then he does not worth any respect. You made a good decision. You can always find a better job and most of all a better boss. I am glad you were able to speak out. He deserved that!
I believe you are right and you did nothing wrong at all!
I believe you are right and you did nothing wrong at all!
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
11 May 10
hello jeeyah,
that's what happens to ONLINE COWARDS who can only boss and treats you like trash in the net but couldn't do it in your face because this arrogant good for nothing boss of yours can't be touch or be complained since you're working online.
Just quit and move on, let him apologize and come to you. @jeeyah (1092)
• Philippines
11 May 10
I guess you're right. He's a coward. A bully on the outside, a coward on the inside. Lol.
I already quit, and we're still arguing. I just don't want him to have the last words (which are really rude and insulting, by the way). He never apologized, and I guess he never will. It's his loss. Lol.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
13 May 10
You are completely corrct for fighting for your right to be treated well. It was a situation that was similar to this that happened to me in 2005 that caused me to leave the job that I had been working for over a year and a half. I was hired on during night shift and assured that I would be changed to day shift when a position became available. I was never changed shifts wise and then I hurt my back at work and was put on restrictions. I wasn't even able to pick up my three year old daughter at home and my boss expected me to take a team of 20 patients at the hospital (I was a CNA). I quit because I knew that I wasn't being treated right and I didn't feel that I would be able to treat the patients correctly.
@markleob (1902)
• Philippines
12 May 10
wow, jeeh that is sad to hear.i am also working online but i was never been treated that way..
maybe he cant pay you anymore and that is the reason why he make ways and means to fire you.
anyway, what your specialty? they really want an all around person. they want a person who can do the article writing, spinning or submission. they will ask you to market their site. the will ask to do SEO and the stuff...
sorry to hear that.. there really are a lot of bosses like that... just find another boss... are you at odesk or onlinejobs.ph?
i prefer onlinejobs.ph...
@jeeyah (1092)
• Philippines
12 May 10
Actually this was the first time I encountered someone like him. I've been working online as a sideline for more than 3 years, and most of my previous employers were kind and they treated me like I was a valued worker.
Well, actually he didn't fire me. I, myself, resigned. And when I resigned he somehow told me that I did a good job and he wouldn't have wanted to fire me, but later on went on to say that if I was quitting because my "feelings got hurt", then he didn't need someone like me anymore. That was really insulting, don't you think? I didn't quit because my feelings got hurt but because I wanted to be treated right. That's when I was truly certain that quitting was the best professional decision I have ever made.
Anyway, I'm a writer, but I can do all those stuff that you mentioned. Lol. I write, spin, and submit. All SEO stuff.
I really found oDesk a bit complicated, so I didn't pursue my membership there. As for onlinejobs.ph, I haven't tried it yet. Maybe I'll try it someday, thanks for telling me about it. :) But as for now, I'm not going to look for another job, yet. I'm currently working on a website for freelance writers. I'm about to start a freelance writing business. :D
@jeeyah (1092)
• Philippines
11 May 10
It wasn't really a contract-based job. I was just working as a freelancer, so I do not know if that applies. :/ Lol. But my point is that I'm a human who has the right to be treated well..
@littlefranciscan (18327)
• United States
11 May 10
IN the USA ..there is such a think as work place violence
and unjust demands by employers. This is the basis for many lawsuits
because bosses are bullies at times and do nothing to insure
that one's workplace is suitable.
You have the right to express yourself in a respectful way.
@alexies29 (124)
• Philippines
12 May 10
It's not good to stay in a job when you're unhappy and if you have that kind of person around. It's good that you finally made a decision to quit your job. I believe that there are lots of jobs out there for you. As long as you're hardworking and honest, you'll be blessed with a job that's right for you.
