How to talk so MEN will Listen!
By lady10blue
@lady10blue (43)
Philippines
May 16, 2010 2:39am CST
Im a female here, and i dont quite get to understand my hubby when we talk about things. Not until i learn to understand that MEN use a specialized set of rules for communication. We girls can keep this in mind when we talk to them to get them to listen:
1. Give a man one thing at a time
- their brains are compartamentalized. Yep you heard me right. This tiny room division in their heads functions in isolation of all others. Do not multi-track a man. Keep your ideas and thoughts seperated.
2. Let him have his turn to speak.
- women brains are wired to BOTH speak and listen, while male brains are EITHER wired to speak OR listen. They cant do BOTH like female can. Let him have his turn and finish his sentence and do not interrupt.
3. Use a poker face when listening
- men think that someone who uses loads of facial expressions when listening may have mental problems! Hold a serious expression when listening to a man and make it sounds like 'uh-huh..' 'I see..', hmmm,,," to encourage him to continue.
4, Give him facts and information.
- Show solution to problems, give facts and testimonials. Avoid emotional pleas, prove your point instead.
5. Use direct speech.
- man's sentences are shorter than women's. Dont hint or infer things. Say what you mean and get to the point.
Same discussion posted for MEn. How to talk so WOMEN will LIsten. Feel free to read.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@Cactus2010 (167)
• India
20 May 10
There is one famous book titled "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. This book deals with the diiferences between men and women, their approach, their preferences etc. I suggest you read this book. this is a good one. i have read and follow also sometimes.
@lady10blue (43)
• Philippines
22 May 10
i got a copy of that one! which made me remember i lend it to a friend long time ago. I have to get it back. Thanks for making me remember (^_^)
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
20 May 10
As I was reading your post, I couldn’t help myself but laugh and be agreeable and amenable to what you’ve written; specially when you mentioned the word, “compartmentalized”. Personally, I have also observed these qualities of men through my relationship with my husband. You see, I tend to pour out everything on my mind when we talk with each other, usually after office. I used to not understand why he couldn’t follow what I’m saying. I even thought that he might be suffering from a mild stroke early on that’s why he’s like this.
After some time, I tried holding on to bits of information and fed it to him bit by bit and I discovered and was amazed that it was working. I guess I wasn’t able to comprehend it for a long time eventhough at times, he would tell me to do things one at a time; because I tend to multi-task, which is I believe, one of women’s great ability.
It’s just coincidental that last night, my youngest sister came to me to air out her feelings regarding her relationship with her husband and in turn, I tried pointing out to her that they both are still in the period of adjustment specially because they are a very young couple.
@lady10blue (43)
• Philippines
20 May 10
That was funny! We women should really learn how to deal with this guys. They can process one subject at a time.
But very good for you, you know how to deal with your hubby (^_^)
@UmiNoor (4483)
• Malaysia
16 May 10
Hello lady10blue, Very interesting observation about men. I agree on all points especially the part about telling him one thing at a time.
When I try to talk to my husband about several stuffs about our three children, it just doesn't register on him. I have to tell him about our first child in the morning then about the second child in the afternoon and the last child in the evening. And only then will he understand what I'm trying to tell him.
When I tell him that the first child is going to have to go to the dentist the next day. It will take him like a few hours later to ask me who's going to bring her to the dentist. It takes him that long to register what I just told him.
Sometimes it's pretty annoying but that's probably just how men are.
@lady10blue (43)
• Philippines
16 May 10
They really get funny and annoying all at the same time. Problem is, we girls talked OUR WAY. If we somehow learn to understand how their minds work, nothing is so annoying isnt? ^_^
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
16 May 10
You have to be careful in how you talk to men. You have to reach them on levels that will grab their interest. If they do not feel inspired, they will not hear a word you say.
