What's the hardest part about parenting?

United States
May 18, 2010 1:02pm CST
Is it the general stress of raising kids? The expense? The lack of freedom? The fact that your house will never stay clean? Each person in each individual situation will think it's something different I'm sure. For me, it's all of the above.. depending on the day. I just finished cleaning up an oatmeal mess the youngest boys made on my sofa. They took 3 packages of raw oatmeal and just dumped it everywhere. Well the clean up isn't what upset me.. it's the fact that my vaccuum was full and I'm on my last vaccuum bag again... and I think I'm now out of oatmeal so the older kids have nothing to eat for breakfast for the rest of the week except cereal (I like them to have a hot breakfast on school days). So, today it's the expense. Kids can be so wasteful (of course it's not on purpose.. so I'm not angry, though I did tell them they're naughty boys). Yes we love our kids and we love being parents... but what do you find to be the hardest part about parenting?
3 people like this
16 responses
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 May 10
The unexpected, frustrating things that are (or feel like they are) totally out of your control, such as a child's attitude, an illness, Dearra's anxiety, things that happen at school, etc. Apparently I'm a control freak.
• United States
18 May 10
Isn't that a symptom of Asperger's? I'm a control freak too, because I was raised by a control freak... little things do tend to stress me out too, but I tend to ignore the things I can't control.. and freak out over the other things that should be controlled but aren't.. like the fact that my daughter still tries to leave the house without brushing her hair.. I just feel like she should know this by now and I shouldn't have to remind her (especially when I haven't had my coffee yet!).
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 May 10
Naomi's 9 and I still have to remind her pretty much every day or she'd go out with messy hair. yeah, many Aspie's don't deal well with situations that are out of their control...
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 May 10
If it gets too messy, it hurts to brush it...
@Masmasika (1921)
• Philippines
19 May 10
Parenting is hard when the kids are young but it is just the mess and their naughtiness that makes parents so exhausted. But I think the hardest part of parenting is when the children are already grown up and you cannot talk to them and you just keep guessing what's in their mind. i always dreaded the time when my child grows up and I cannot find in him what I had longed to have in my child but parents must be understanding. Now that my son is nearing twenty, he has matured and changed and it is back to normal parenting again. For me, the hardest part of parenting is when kids are teenagers because this is the crucial age and most critical for them. They are confused and they tend to be always ill-tempered.
• United States
19 May 10
Each child is different.. I don't think all teenagers are ill tempered. My oldest is a teenager, but he's no more difficult than any of the other children.. actually my youngest is the most difficult.
@Masmasika (1921)
• Philippines
20 May 10
Yes, there are always differences. But for me, the hardest part of my parenting was my son's early teens. Now, I am happy that it was finally over and we are both doing fine.
• India
19 May 10
For me it has to be the general stress, every minute of every day. Being a mother is 24x7x365 work and no matter how disciplined or how self-sufficient your kids are, you just have to be with them, for them, till they are ready to leave the nest. Even when you’re sure that you’ve taken care of everything, something unexpected will have to crop up…and forget about ‘me’ time…kids just don’t understand that concept as far as moms are concerned. But yes, we all love them, life wouldn’t he half as exciting without them around to keep us on our toes all the time.
• United States
19 May 10
Being a mom can certainly be draining sometimes.. but like you said, what would we do without them?
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
19 May 10
Being a parent and raising a child is not an easy task. There are so many things a parent worries about. There are so many dangers you try to keep your child away from. I think the hardest part of parenting is worrying if your messages get through to your children. It's this uncertainty that gives us too many gray hairs and sleepless nights.
• United States
19 May 10
Yes, not knowing what the future holds is definitely a scary thought.. I try not to think about it too much and for now just hope that everything works out for the best.
@zralte (4178)
• India
19 May 10
All of the above and then some. I had one open shelf put in the lounge so I don't have to go upstairs every time for change of clothes. Five minutes was all it took for everything to be pulled down onto the floor. After folding them and putting them back on the shelf for five times, I had to give up. I'd rather run upstairs every time they need to be changed. The thing that my daughters love to do best is take a bottle of water and pour it all out on the floor . Good thing we have marble floor. If we have carpeting, the house would be smelling with damp every where. I want them to grow up soon, so all the craziness will be done. But I also want them to stay like this because they are so loveable at this stage. By the way, my daughters are 32 months old and 10 months old
• United States
19 May 10
I feel your pain... my twins were total terrors when they were around 2 and 3... and now I'm going through it all again with my youngest 2 who are only 18 months apart. It's maddness!
@walking2010 (1009)
• United States
19 May 10
Basically kids are a trip overall, one minute they are good next they drive you crazy, but when they sleep they look like angels, thats how they get u. well for me as a parent the hardest part for me is learning them just when you think you know your child they switch up on you. lol. I have fun with my kids but I draw the line. Another thing is the laws are so screwed up everything for your kids now is child abuse its like you cant do anything to your kids, then they start walking all over you. I put my foot down, but its like you are on a rollercoaster trying to be a good parent, but you know something we can try to be the best parents, but all we can do is try our best to be the best for our children and be someone they can look up to.
• United States
19 May 10
Yes, laws stopping us from being good parents is a major difficulty.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
18 May 10
The hardest part for me when my kids were growing up.....was when the time came....to see them leave home. All the time you have them you teach them to grow and be independent....there's a huge gap once they leave...it's one of the hardest things you'll ever have to go through!
• United States
18 May 10
Hmmm.. and here I thought once the potty training was over it was all smooth sailing, lol. But we're each different. I honestly believe I'll be excited when my kids go, because as of right now I'm looking forward to it, lol.
@GreenMoo (11834)
19 May 10
For me, it´s not getting a moment of peace to get on with anything when they are about. I call that hour or so at the end of the day the witching hour, because I swear there´s a bunch of witches get into my kids. Wherever they are, they´re yelling ´Mum, mum, mum ....´. It doesn´t matter if I´m on the other side of the house, they won´t come to me, they´ll just yell. I´ve tried ignoring them, I´ve tried yelling back, I´ve tried dealing with whatever they want calmly and explaining that next time they could perhaps come and find me rather than yelling .... but none of it makes a jot of difference. I guess what makes it doubly hard at that time of day is that it´s also the pre-dinner period when I´m trying to cook and when everyone is coming home from the farm and wanting stuff from me too. You´re right, we do love our kids and we do love being parents ..... but just occasionally being able to complete a task without worrying about them would be SO nice!
• United States
19 May 10
Evening is my hardest time too, usually after dinner though.. between the time dinner is over and the time they go to sleep. That's usually when the youngest gets cranky and the older ones get bored so they start acting up and getting loud. Some nights I put them to bed as early as 6pm to get some peace. They never actually fall asleep that early, but at least having the majority of them contained in their beds is slightly less stressful.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
18 May 10
This is a hard question to answer. So many different aspects. Now that they are adult it is not butting into their lives or decisions and only giving advice when they ask for it! Or if I want to get a point home to them then I think of how to approach it without seeming confrontational. I am very gentle when giving advice. I am not talking about their marriages as I made a vow never to give advice or butt in their marriages and their wives know that if they need a little rant they can do so to me without my going back and telling their husbands. When they were young I think it was not having time to be alone when I wanted and needed it. I remember distinctly the time when they were playing on the veranda and I told them to stay there for 20 minutes as I needed time off to read. I just needed the break. My bedroom had louvered windows and so they were still in my sight as I lay on the bed and read. When I heard a car I thought it was my husband coming home and didn't get up. It was only when I heard my eldest son explaining to my MIL (the one from hell) that 'Mummy says we must stay out here and play and not to disturb her unless we are bleeding', did I realise my goose was cooked! Properly too
• United States
18 May 10
Oh you poor thing! I can't imagine how terribly that must have gone. You sound like a perfect mother in law. Mine was certainly a meddler... not so much that she was interfering with our marriage.. because I never felt comfortable enough to have a serious conversation with her, but she'd always have some sort of comment about how we spent our money, cleaned our house, and raised our kids. Ugh!
• Germany
18 May 10
For me it's the combination of those you listed out. The main reason is i am not a patient person, so i get frustrated easily. Though i try to ignore the little things and understand my kid's behaviour. Parenting is really a learning process for mothers and fathers. I am learning to cope with the situation every time it happens.
• United States
18 May 10
I've discovered that I've become more patient with age.. perhaps it's a maturity thing or perhaps it's because I'm learning.
@geniustiger (1694)
• Philippines
19 May 10
hello katsmeow1213! It is really true that sometimes they are naughty in the house. My two daughters always hear my sermons as these are the things to be done but still they pass it in their ears. Always yes abut after you will check it they did not done it correctly and neatly. They always want to chase each other watch television and play. Sometimes I got mad at them hard headed person but sometimes feel pity because they are just young ones. But I try them to train well as they grow up maturely and good. Just newly my elder daughter commit mistakes , thief get all my keys in the house . I wonder how he got it the little store is close. The problem is , she left all the key in table for the costumer and it is easy to get it. So even though committed wrong still they do it. I don't know how to treat them righfully.
• United States
19 May 10
Kids don't do naughty things on purpose.. they usually don't know better, or sometimes they're just trying to get attention. A talking to is usually all it takes.
• Philippines
19 May 10
I agree with you that it is all of the above. The hardest part of it is that you have to sacrifice your other aspirations just for the kids.
• United States
19 May 10
Yeah, that's a hard part too.
@evepin (721)
• Philippines
19 May 10
the hardest part for me now is the frustration that comes along when things dont go "my way." my 2yo is in this stage that she tries to assert herself by not doing what she used to love doing: getting her teeth brushed, taking a bath, eating properly, fixing her toys. i try to discipline her by talking to her and by being positive but to no avail. i guess its a hard part to feel like a failure as a mother.
• United States
19 May 10
That's a really hard age and I'm dealing with it too. My 2 year old is so defiant and that does frustrate me a lot, and the usual tactics never work on him.
@rosie230 (1696)
18 May 10
It's a combination of things really, but the hardest thing for me, is seeing my children unwell, or when they hurt themselves, but all in all through all the trials and tribulations of being a parent, I love my boys and would not be with out them :)
• United States
18 May 10
I would have to say that it depends on the level of unwell or hurt. Kids are supposed to get scraped knees and things like that, and obviously getting a cold can't be avoided.. so things like that don't bother me much... but thankfully my kids are healthy and have never had any serious illnesses or problems. Not sure how I'd manage if one of them needed to be hospitalized or anything.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
21 May 10
I completely agree with you that for me it is all of the above, but the single thing that bothers me the most does vary at times. Today it is the fact that the kids don't know how to keep things straightened up. I decided that the carpet was driving me insane today and I thought that it needed to be shampooed. So, I picked up all the toys and trash and stuff and then ran the vacuum cleaner. Then I got the shampooer out started running that. Well, it was at this point that the kids decided that they needed to dump the toy box back out, so I had to pick all of that up again. It is really frustrating.
@dfcar47 (15)
• United States
19 May 10
The hardest thing in parenting is to realise you won't always be able to keep them safe from small and big hurts that life will throw their way.We all want the perfect life for ourselves and our children and then along comes the real life dramas. Someday you'll be old and it's now time for your children to raise you.Did you pay attention to their needs (not the same as wants) or were you to busy? They may be too busy for you now. Love them,correct them,head them in the right direction and pray you've done good.