Read or Not Read

@agrant10 (1446)
United States
May 19, 2010 9:11am CST
True Story: I went into my 13 year old daughter's room to retrieve something. She was in another part of the house. Her phone was on her bed I notice she had received a text. Would you read the text or not? Just to be fair I will not tell what I did. Maybe later.
2 people like this
17 responses
@OConnell87 (1045)
19 May 10
i wouldnt read it because there needs to be trust between a parent and a child.... You would expect that your child would not read your messages so you should do the same
1 person likes this
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
19 May 10
You are correct I'm the adult and I would not want my children unless I ask them to read my messages. Thank for taking the time to respond. Happy Mylotting
1 person likes this
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
20 May 10
I must admit I did read it and it was innocent, but at least I know.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 May 10
My daughter is 16 and I feel she is doing reckless stuff. So I may have read it provided it was a way she would not know I did. it would not have been out of snooping either. I have reason to believe she is dating an older man and I would like to have him locked up. So guilty I would be and yes I would have read it. At 13 I am not sure she would be doing much behind your back so no I would not have read it.
1 person likes this
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
19 May 10
Ok. I understand it basically depend on the circumstances and what is going on at that time. I'm sorry to hear that about your daughter though. Just know that everything will work out. If it is true the law does need to deal with him.
@ellie333 (21018)
19 May 10
Hi Agrant, I have two daughters and would never dream of touching their phones and reading their private messages. Likewise if I left my phone in the lounge I wouln't expect them too. If I am driving I will give my phone to one of the children and if I get a message they will ask if I want to see who it is and I may tell them to read as I have nothing to hide from them. I am guessing here that you never read the text either for the same reasons of privacy really. Huggles. Ellie :D
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
19 May 10
Hi Ellie333, Nice to meet you and thanks for taking the time to respond. I will eventually reveal how I handled it but I would not want my kids to read my messages unless I ask them too. I'm glad that you have such a open relationship with your girls that is great. I too would like to think that I have a great relationship with my children and I would hope that they would be able to come to me and tell me anything but I was a kid too and I remember. LOL
1 person likes this
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
20 May 10
I must admit I did read it and it was innocent, but at least I know.
1 person likes this
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
29 May 10
That is really great news.
@syankee525 (6293)
• United States
20 May 10
i dont think i would unless there might be a reason why you dont trust her. now with me my 13 yr old wouldnt have a cell phone, only time my kids got a cell phone when they started to drive. then both of my kids had to share cell phones. but when my kids was younger and we got a computer, i had thier passwords for everything they were allow to change it until they were 18 yrs old
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
20 May 10
No, I do not have any real problems with her but I must admit I did read it and it was innocent, but at least I know.
• United States
20 May 10
then no i wouldnt. i think if parents are open with their kids then there are less chance of any issues with them. we always had an open relationship with our kids where they can talk about anything with us, even if we didnt like too. i am so glad my kids are grown up lol
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
20 May 10
I guess that open realationship is always good. I have a way to go before mines is grown.
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
19 May 10
I would like to think i wouldn't have read it. My dad was always going through my things when i was a teen & i just hated that.I know all kids have cells now but i don't know that i think it's a good idea. They grow up way to quick anyway.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
19 May 10
Well, I'm in my forties and I do not even own one. My spouse wanted her to have it for emergency purposes. She plays sports and also takes sewing classes on the weekend so my spouse thought it was a good idea for her to have one, just incase she needs to contact us like asap.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36468)
• United States
19 May 10
I'm in my 60's & i do have one but i never use it, lol. I do try to remember to take it w/me when i go out in case something happens. It is a good idea of course for her to have one for emergencies.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
20 May 10
Yes, you are correct and by the way I must admit I did read it and it was innocent, but at least I know.
@MAllen400 (830)
19 May 10
hi she will probably notice that you have read her text. As she is a good student and not causing you a hassle I think you should not read it no matter how much you want to. At 13 she is at the age where if you respect her privacy she will then talk to her. What would I do? I would not tell her that I had read it but tell her you heard that there was a message and was it "good news" or from your friend so and so and get her to talk to you about it. x
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
19 May 10
Hi MAllen400, Nice to meet you. I did not said I read it, but it really amazes me the people who are saying privacy, privacy. We are talking about a 13 year old child. I feel that if more parents would check maybe somethings could be prevented. No, she really does not give me any trouble and maybe I'm making a big thing out of it. I just would hate if it was something serious and I could have prevented something from happening and I did not because I did not want to invade her privacy. Thanks you for responding to this post and please except my friend request. Thanks
19 May 10
I agree about preventing things from happening. As for privacy I think a Mum knows her own child enough to respect privacy and know when to invade it. I think Mums and Dads have to do what they feel is right for them. One thing I do know is that it is not always easy to be a Mum x
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
20 May 10
Mum or dad you are correct I must admit I did read it and it was innocent, but at least I know.
@eivelice (42)
• Philippines
19 May 10
i will, i am a protective parent and i will read it because of it might in need of parents consent and concern. no matter what anyone would say about privacy, she's my child, i will do what ever is needed to be done to protect her.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
19 May 10
I do understand where you are coming from. She is a minor and need guidance.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
20 May 10
I must admit I did read it and it was innocent, but at least I know.
• United States
19 May 10
I would not read it.. She'll know you read it anyway or that someone did since it will be opened already and she won't remember reading it. I think it is a huge violation of trust. If someone read my personal text message I would no longer trust them.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
19 May 10
I would not want to violate her trust, but at the same time she is a child and your are an adult who takes care of yourself. I do understand what you are saying though. The trust factor basically starts now when they are small.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
20 May 10
I must admit I did read it and it was innocent, but at least I know.
@tap0991 (2767)
• United States
19 May 10
I would not read the text. Thats kind of violating privacy and if you do this you will be showing them that it is ok to violate peoples privacy when you want to know something. I know the text message could be bad but this is where you trust your child and ask them whats going on in their life and show them that they can tell you anything. If you get worried about the little things in life they can get out of control where they become big problems.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
19 May 10
Not really worried. I was just kind of curious to see how others would handle it if they were place into that situation.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
20 May 10
I must admit I did read it and it was innocent, but at least I know.
@dreamnishu (1253)
• China
19 May 10
I think you shouldn't have read the text with out asking her. Because children have there own secrete. If they can not keep there privacy then they start to tell a lie as they want privacy. So batter you can talk with your daughter.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
19 May 10
If I read it she would not have known unless I told it. I do understand to a certain degree.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
20 May 10
I must admit I did read it and it was innocent, but at least I know.
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
19 May 10
No,I would not. If she was not to be getting texts that is another story and if she was in trouble for something then I might. however, I feel that she deserves her privacy the same as everyone else does.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
19 May 10
She is good student A'and B's. Smart mouth sometimes.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
20 May 10
I must admit I did read it and it was innocent, but at least I know.
@don_naces (464)
• Philippines
29 May 10
I won't read her message. It's not mine. I don't want anybody to read any messages in my cellphone. Maybe that is a personal message.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
29 May 10
I'm a adult so I would not want antone else to read my emails without my permission but if I was a minor it would be a different matter.
@cream97 (29164)
• United States
22 May 10
Hi, agrant10. I really don't like to invade anyones else privacy. But, if I ever suspect my daughter of doing something that she has no business doing, I will look at her text message. Especially if she is being rebellious and all. I want to keep and eye on her to make sure that she is not doing anything that may cause her to be hurt.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
23 May 10
Yes, I feel that that is part of my responsibilty even if she does not give mea reason too. Just to know where her head is and that she is on the right track and staying out of trouble.
@qamarep (4448)
• Pakistan
21 May 10
yes i would read the text it is the daughter you know other wise you dont know what you are going to get to see she doing
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
23 May 10
Yes, I did read it and it was innocent.
@coffeebreak (17815)
• United States
20 May 10
ALthough I believe in privacy to all...I think it has been overly dosed on kids. They are KIDS. They are MINORS. the world today is so full of crap and hate and preditors and scams and the list goes on. Kids don't know when they should or shouldn't believe something until they learn about life. I mean, any kid that is told, in any way, "do this and I'll share with you"...most likely will do it thinking it is a good idea and that no one is going to hurt them. They are just sharing or helping someone. When they fall in trouble cause of it..yeah, they hopefully will learn, but again, this day and age...with all the preaching of privacy and all...they'll probaby just do it again later on. I think parents have the responsibility to teach their children how to grow up and do for themselves and all that and if that includes not giving them complete and total "privacy", I'd rather risk some annoyance from them to me cause I "invaded their privacy", than to see them trashed, hurt, missing or look at them through bars simply because I believed the "don't invade someone's privacy" hook, line and sinker instead of being a responsible parent. You could look at it this way...if she was hiding something...she'd a hide the phone when she left the room or taken it with her. Obviously, since she left it laying out in the open...she must not hav cared if anyone read it or not! Quite frankly, I don't think kids need to have cell phones and do texting and all that as much as they do.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
20 May 10
Yes, I do agree with you 100 percent. Because of her activities my spouse thinks she may need on just in case of emergenices. She could do without the texting. Since I have not seen any bad behavior with her using it she will keep it until she shows me otherwise or I find out otherwise. Thanks for making my point.
@Sagar_ (80)
• Pakistan
20 May 10
One should not read anyone's text if you have trust on that person. But when it comes to your own child, everyone knows that the environment around in these days isn't that good, your child can spoil anytime. So to keep a check is also very important especially on daughters.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
20 May 10
You are right in these days and times you have to check on all the boys as well as the girls
@tessah (6621)
• United States
20 May 10
for the safety of my children.. all outside contact is monitored until they are adults. that includes emails, ims, web forums and yes.. text messages. idve read it. but i also am not sneaky about it.. my kids know full well they have absolutely no privacy where this is concerned, and i tell them i do it, and when i do it.
@agrant10 (1446)
• United States
20 May 10
Yea, as long as you are the adult I can work with that.