Feeling helpless and guilty not being able to help a child's assignment ---

Philippines
May 19, 2010 11:20am CST
Upon reading the problem, you felt it was so easy. But then, when you went on reading it and computing, your head started to get heavy as you kept erasing and changing the solution. Yet, you want to prove to yourself that as parent, you are more knowledgeable and therefore, show the child that you are capable of solving it. The problem very well falls under the course that you earned the college degree for. Yet, after so many hours, you failed to arrive at a correct solution. Have you ever been in the same situation as this? With the very long years parents had been out of school and with "old age" and not confronted with the same problem as it were in college, this sometimes happens, doesn't it?
5 responses
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
19 May 10
I am not a parent sweetie, but i have the same problem when helping my nephew with his projects. Those things are freaking scary. TATA.
• Philippines
20 May 10
Yes, I experienced the same feeling, too. Foremost, I wanted to help him solve it as it was completely Greek to them, engineering students. The problem was about something that was related to accounting. There was little time for him to understand the terms and myself explaining to him. They need to pass the assignment the next day and we were running out of time last night. I was helpless, guilty and embarrassed. I thought it was easy at first. But I was wrong. . I had to accept that it was one area of the past learnings that are now lost (but I am not about to surrender yet --- have to find ways to solve it ). Have a good day.
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
20 May 10
You will find one sweetie. Just be patient and please remember to breath, okay. TATA
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
20 May 10
It happened to me. I made an easy B in college algebra, but, 25 years later, my daughter needed help with high school freshman algebra. I found that I had completely forgotten the fundamentals.
• Philippines
20 May 10
Hi Bellis716, That is true. It makes me feel good that I am not alone in the experience. Things that we learned in the past but haven't been practiced to the present are forgotten. The same thing happens to me when I applied for another job after I applied and accepted for early retirement. Things which were very easy for me in the past seemed too difficult when I took the screening tests, lol. Thanks and have a nice day!
@med889 (5941)
19 May 10
I do not have children but my sister's children are all in school and sometimes my sister call me to ask me a homework of her kids as she is not understanding the question of forgot the exercises. It is very usual for me because we are all degree holders but sometimes the work in school is beyond our thinking. And it is also embarrassing to ask your children to go to their neighbor to do this number or tell your teacher that you have not been able to do it at home.
• Philippines
20 May 10
Hi Med889, It really puts us in an embarrassing situation. We really want to help but we just can't. I wanted to seek help from friends and cousins. But it was too embarrassing to do that, hahaha. I slept late and kept on trying but in the end, I had to accept the fact that I lost that part of my learnings, lol. I need to regain that area and had to find ways to really solve it. It has become a challenge for me.
• Philippines
19 May 10
This had happened to me before. Although my brother was in elementary school. It was a math problem. I'm taking up civil engineering so he came up to me to help him solve the problem. I thought it would be that easy but turned out it wasn't, like in your situation. I really felt like it was at the back of my head and all I has to do was kick it out but I really couldn't find it 'til I begun to get lost myself. After that incident, whenever my brother comes up to me for help on math problems, I'll take a look at the problem first. If I know that I can solve it then I'll solve it and explain it to him. But if I can't then he'll have to do it all by himself.
• Philippines
20 May 10
Hi Frontvisions101, This was exactly what happened to me last night, lol (please see my comments on the immediately preceding box). I tried and tried to solve. It was to no avail. I wanted to seek help from cousins but I was ashamed to do so because I, myself, had the same college degree as they have. That really rendered me helpless. Had to tell my son that I really forgot how to do it, lol. It was one embarrassing experience for me.
• Philippines
19 May 10
i am not a mom yet, but i also help my nephews on their homework and have some tutorial with them if they have exams. when we (me and my sister) encounter such problem as yours we help each other out to have this problem solve, they said "two heads are better than one" so for me you should ask another person to help you when you're in need. :)
• Philippines
20 May 10
Hi Ying_Yang, Thanks. It is always better to do that. Good for you because you have the sister to help you out in your nephews' assignment. I am the only one in the house capable of solving the accounting problem. It was too embarrassing to ask help from friends or former classmate as we took the same course. One thing, too, it was already late at night; we slept leaving the problem unsolved.