Should I go on loving this boy ?

@hanna811 (132)
China
May 20, 2010 12:48am CST
I am a Chinese girl and now live in China .But I am in love with a Pakistan boy about 5 months ago who is studying in China now .We love each other very much .But you know he will finish his study till 2012 and I am working now and some of my friends are engaged .He told me that maybe he will go back to his country after his graduation.And now we are not in the same city but not far ,at least we can meet one time one month.So he asked me to find a job in his city but i dont want now .What I am afraid is that he will leave me after his graduation 2 years later and I dont have friends in that city .But we really love each other very much.We thought about breaking up but failed .We cant leave each other now . So how about u think about my love ?Should I go on loving this boy ?
2 people like this
38 responses
@iriscot (1290)
• United States
21 May 10
Hanna I wouldn't try to advise you what to do in this situation. Love is a wonderful thing. Let me tell you what happened to me and maybe this will help you make a decision. During the last year of school and a year afterward, a young girl and I were both madly in love with each other, and had decided to marry after I served my time in military service. We corresponded by letter for a couple of months and everything seemed to be just fine. During my third month of military basic training I noticed that she was writing me less and less. Then I received what is called a "Dear John" letter and she told me she was in love with another young man and wanted to break off with me. There was nothing I could do to change things so we parted ways. I was sent overseas for a year and a half and when I got a 30 day leave I renewed a friendship with a girl that I had dated a couple of times while in school. We both fell in love with each other and a year later we were married. We have been married for 58 years this coming August and have enjoyed being with each other all of this time. We have three sons and grandchildren and great grandchildren. You sound like a lovely young lady and I'm sure there will be another young man in your future should you decide to break off relations with your present boy friend. I wish you well and hope that you can make the right decision. I too, would suggest that you have a serious discussion with your parents before making your decision. Best regards to you and your friend.
1 person likes this
@hanna811 (132)
• China
24 May 10
Hi,iriscot,thans for your sharing about your love story and I feel so happy to hear that your 58 wedding anniversary is coming .Congratulations ! But you know I am really in love with him and hope he will be my right man in the future ,he is so good when we are together ,really very good ,much better than my ex boyfriend 2 years ago.Most people here said that true love can find its way out and now I really want to believe that my love can find its own way out . I wish I will have a marriage like yours ,you are really so happy and now I feel little envy to you.haha Could you tell me some trick about how to keep a nice marriage like this and maybe I can learn some benefieial suggestion. Best wishes to you and your happy family.
• India
22 May 10
I think you should make your mind clear if you really love him. If its yes, ask him about getting married soon. There is a chance that he is just with you till his study but you should you get the clear answer from him. If he is ready to marry you after studies, thats too good. Wish you all the best:)
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163905)
• Garden Grove, California
22 May 10
hi hanna two years is a long time, so why not just get married and start a new life. He can still go ahead and get his degree but since you are both in love with each other why not live together and face whatever happens together. If you really love him go look for that job then get married why wait? do it now and enjoy life together.
@hanna811 (132)
• China
24 May 10
hi,hatley ,easier than done .it's not so easy to get married .you know i just graduated last year and don't have money and he is just a student .if we get married ,that means we have to rent a houst to live together .and if somethings happen before his graduation like i am pregnant ,then what should we do ?and i dont wanna do the abortion. so i dont think it's a good decision to get married now .anyway ,thanks for your suggestion. Best wishes to you.
• India
22 May 10
I think you should make your mind clear if you really love him. If its yes, ask him about getting married soon. There is a chance that he is just with you till his study but you should you get the clear answer from him. If he is ready to marry you after studies, thats too good. Wish you all the best:)
1 person likes this
@arakawaii (270)
• Philippines
21 May 10
There still so many things that can happen in two years, You'll never know if one of you fell out love in that span of time, but relationship depend between the two people if they want to work it out.. I hope that yours, last till the end...
1 person likes this
@KCruzado (78)
• Philippines
20 May 10
Yes. My answer is yes. Don't worry about something you do not know yet. As you said, both of you love each other and couldn't live without seeing each other so I bet neither of you can decide living miles away from one another. It's good to love and be loved. Just enjoy it and when your fear comes, face it squarely. You will not be happy deciding to stop loving your boyfriend just because you fear that he will leave in 2 years. It's 2 years baby - a lot of things will still happen. Cheers.
@hanna811 (132)
• China
21 May 10
Thank you very very very much ,now i will enjoy this love .just as u said ,love and to be love is the best thing in this world .now i have this love ,so what else can i except ,right ?And he is so good .yeah ,it still has two years ,during these two years ,maybe many things will be changed .thank you ,your words make me so relax now ,thank you very much.
• Philippines
21 May 10
Am happy to help. Good luck Hanna =).
@Rasnie (1135)
• Indonesia
20 May 10
You should know him better before you decide something, if do you think he is "a right man " & you can believe him, just go a head. Love need to sacrifice to get it.
@hanna811 (132)
• China
21 May 10
every body told me that love needs sacrifice ,but the problem is who will sacrifice first and if one sacrificed then cant get a good result ,what will we do ?
@youless (109379)
• Guangzhou, China
21 May 10
I have to say that in this situation one has to sacrifice and give in. I can see there are many difficulties. Besides the different location, religion, customs etc. Both of you have to see whether your parents accept to it or not. As some parents may mind it. When people are in love, they think they can conquer everything. But it is always easy to say than done. So you have to see whether one of you can do something for another and there will be a positive result in the future. I love China
@hanna811 (132)
• China
21 May 10
Thanks for ur suggestion.I will think this love but now I just want this pure love and dont want to be hurt again.
@rajaiv0810 (1012)
• Philippines
20 May 10
My dear why do you worry for 2012? You said he will finish his studies by that time right? It is still 2 and a half years from today. A lot of things could happen between this time so don't anticipate in advance. Love him if you want and then deal about it when it is near. Maybe he would change his mind in going back to Pakistan. Maybe he would think that you and him should go to another country. Maybe by that time you would decide to go with him. A lot of possibilities can happen and it would be unfair for you and for your man to close your doors at this time. Enjoy the feeling while it is still there. Besides my dear future holds no guarantee so just live by it day by day and make sure that you live it to the fullest. Please don't ruin your moment by anticipating too much. Have fun!
• Pakistan
21 May 10
He is never going to change his mind about going back to Pakistan but he surely can take her to Pakistan with him!
@RIJUL01 (24)
• India
20 May 10
well this certainly is a big issue..as i m also resident of the subcontinent i know both the countries to a good extent. problems if he go to pakistan back- 1i think u wont be able to adapt with the lifestyle there 2not necessarily his parents will allow this 3i think he is a muslim(pakistan has majority)..so he can have more wifes later on then if u think u wont face all these then go on with ur love.. i know many replies have came saying-love will find its way..yeah for sure but it only works in movies--real life is too complicated for that
@hanna811 (132)
• China
20 May 10
Yeah ,the problems you mentioned above really exist and I will think them over and make a decition.Maybe it will be better if we live in another country else ,u know Europe is the place where I want to live most .I like there very much and one of his brother is in UK.Do u think I am daydreaming or very innocent? If we cant stay together for long ,maybe it was a wrong choice to love each other and bad luck to meet each other at first . So sad now
@dheckerz (473)
• Philippines
20 May 10
Hi Hannah, Follow your hearts desire. Keep in mind that loving someone ang making decisions would really be up to both of you. If you think that your guy can commit in a relationship, loyal, honest and respects you then go for it. For now, enjoy each others company and know each other well. ;-)
@hanna811 (132)
• China
20 May 10
At the first year ,I will enjoy this love but after this year I have to think about it carefully.Yeah,he is loyal and honest and even everything follows me .My best friend suggest me just like urs ,just enjoy it now and maybe after two years or more ,we will find a way out .And I hope we really can .Best wishes for myself.
• India
20 May 10
ask him to stay with u in china. whatever he is gonna move out after his graduation wat will u do after that? ur future also counts... distance cant separate true love..
@hanna811 (132)
• China
21 May 10
That is what I hope most to ask him to stay in china with me and now he is trying to study chinese .but nobody knows what will happen in the future .now i just dont want to think so much .u know sometimes i am thinking what is true love .
@zhangxia (87)
• China
20 May 10
I'm a Chinese boy .dump him snd love me ,haha
@hanna811 (132)
• China
21 May 10
Love is not a joke .If u wanna find a girl ,I will give you my best wishes .But if you wanna play ,feel shame on you,
@ting5825 (10)
• China
21 May 10
just enjoy this 2 years he will be in China,during this time,you will get more informations to help you do a final decision.After two years,maybe he will stay in china with you or you will happy to Pakistan following with him under everybody's blessings.you will have a right judgment so long as you have a enough understanding. in addition,i think the marriage is not two person'matters,but two families'.so you need to know more about your boyfriend. wish you have a great ending.
@hanna811 (132)
• China
21 May 10
It will be better if he stay in China after two years because he has stay here for about 4 years till 2012.But I have to learn from zero if I go to his country ,that's not a good choice .
• Philippines
2 Jun 10
I think you have to talk with your boyfriend Hannah. Ask him to stay with you. If you love this boy make arrangement and I know he will agree. But if his decision is to come back on his country after graduation , it really depends on yo if you want to continue the relationship since long distance relationship is hard. Moreover, if you really love this boy, you will not stop the relationship no matter the distance because love is still powerful. You anticipate occurences of problems, anyway that is a challenge for your relationship and please tell your boyfriend about it.
@tjades (3591)
• Jamaica
22 May 10
Firstly it is important that you not make decisions simply because your friends are making those same decisions. Secondly... allow your love for each other to help you sort things out. It makes no sense for anyone here to tell you to stay or not to stay in the relationship. Matters of love is not handle like that. After college he might return home and chances are you continue a long distance relationship for a little while. Allow your love and the various situations to test the strength and durability of your relationship. Just make sure you are open minded an truthful to yourself and to him.
@dorannmwin (36393)
• United States
4 Feb 11
There is nothing at all wrong with going on loving this boy. The fact that you can't break up with each other is reason enough that the two of you should be together. I don't think that being from different countries is a barrier that cannot be overcome in a relationship. In addition to that, the love that you feel for each other is something that will be able to keep the two of you together through thick and through thin.
• Philippines
20 May 10
For me, all advices would be fruitless and will just fall in your deaf ears , if you are so much in love.But i am not saying its wrong or right. You just reflect on advices given to you and try to be open-minded. For one, in love there is no guarantee,even marriage is not a guarantee for we know of many cases where married couples gets a divorce. We just enjoy the feeling while it last, we give it all ourselves, but...we should try hard to have our eyes wide open so we can see clearly whats' really happening and not just depend on our feelings. I can't say anything about your problem, cause i dont know your boyfriend and for all we know he really loves you so much and its just theres just a lot of miscommunication between the two of you brought about the distance factor. Take it slow please and beleive that, if its for you , it will be for you. (^_^)
@hanna811 (132)
• China
20 May 10
Thanks very much for your comment .Hoping this love will be mine .Just as my friend told me that just enjoy the love now ,maybe it will end as a good future .
@eil_noz (963)
• Philippines
20 May 10
I don't really quite know why your having this big problem of yours. I mean you love him right and part of loving him is doing things for the best of the two of you. I guess your just hard up or rather afraid to be far from your hometown or maybe your relatives because once he left you in a strange place that you might suffer. Well, Its better i you talk things together and understand what's best for you and for him. If in case that you both love each other but your distances with each other forbids you. I guess having an long distance relationship is the best you could have. I you really both love each other better go out of your comfort zones.
@hanna811 (132)
• China
20 May 10
"part of loving is doing things fot the best of the two hours",I like it very much.But now he is not sure he will go back to his country or some place else .I am not afraid be far away from my hometown but the place I want to go the most is Europe and now I am trying .Anyway ,I will try my best to keep this love and to be together .
@ddaguno (3107)
• Philippines
20 May 10
Try to ask him if he could stay in China. If you really love each other, love will find a way.
@hanna811 (132)
• China
20 May 10
I will and I hope our love will find a way out