i am new person in a new family.

@kirthy (387)
India
May 22, 2010 11:45am CST
hi, after getting marriage i entered in to a new family, new persons, new appearance , new life. at first i had a feeling of fear to live in that new place. how can i adapt. how can i understand, how can i live with that persons. in schools i stayed in hostels. but this atmosphere is different. give me some ways.
3 responses
@kalav56 (11497)
• India
23 May 10
kirthy! Don't worry. You seem to be a sweet , nice person and that is why you are afraid as to how you should adjust. What I would suggest is that you should first of all make your husband very happy. Secondly, just be affectionate and normal with your inlaws and do what is expected of you.In some households, they would be rigid in some formalities and if it is so, just follow that. You are new and so try to get an idea about their style of living. Just have simple expectations and thing s will all fall into place.Do you have a mother-in-law, father-in-law,sister-inlaw, brother-in-law? Are you a working woman or are you at home? If they are decent people they would not interfere in your matters.WHo cooks at home?
@kirthy (387)
• India
25 May 10
my mother-in -law only cooks in home. she wont allow me to cook. if i say something to them, they first take in wrong manner only. i have no other sister in law, only one brother in law. but he is so far away. he comes once in a month. i will be with my mother in law for a whole day. i have no freedom.
• India
25 May 10
so sad dear, when I was married i also have no any freedom and now also i have no any freedom. Mother-in-low is the most stupid person in todays society. I have never want to say this word but i think no any wrong as I said.
@kalav56 (11497)
• India
25 May 10
kirthy dear! I am sorry that you are faced with a tough situation.Are you qualified? If your mother inlaw cooks at home, does she allow you to help her or does she keep finding fault with what you do? Try and occupy your time by doing some reading and writing . Try and keep quiet if motherinlaw is rude.Ask very politely if you can help in some way.If she is rude , do not talk back but keep quiet and finish all your duties meticulously.Keep your room very clean and do not talk too much with mother inlaw. Too much of talking also leads to unnecessary problems. I would also like to share a bit of advice that my mother told me when I got married.SHe told me that I should not talk anything about my parents, siblings or my father's house. I have followed this advice. THere is nothiNG wrong in talking but some people may not take it in the right spirit. THere is also a possibility that your mother inlaw expects something [I cannot predict what this is] from you and so she behaves oddly.Is there a servant maid or hired help at home to do washing of vessels , clothes, cleaning up of the house etc?
• India
23 May 10
Hi kirthy, I am also married women before few days i also feel same as urs. But now I feel better. I can understand urs situation. But u have to accept urs husband parents and his relatives. think that his parents are just like urs parents and share urs thoughts and tell urs problem to urs husband then u feel better. after all u have to stay there forever.
@kirthy (387)
• India
25 May 10
ok friend if i say everything to my husband, it will make misunderstanding with his parents. so i am scared.
• India
22 May 10
i am also facing same problem but with different condition. i also joined company in different city. Different people, new place, new language. Even I don't have any friend in this city. So, take some time everything would be managed. For getting something great in ur life, something u have to compromise.