counteract negative thoughts/ self sabotage/ to realise my dream

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I need a new career diversion. I have been knocked back serveral times of a dream job for a couple of years. I do possess the skills required as I have been rewarded with several employee awards within the industry of my dream job. (what is wrong) My goal is to earn as much as I can till I am 45 and then focus on helping Children. I would like to do fund raising for children education.....