Blonde jokes

Why are 17 blondes waiting outside a disco ? - They have heard they have to be 18 to be allowed to enter !

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. So she went to a playground, grabbed a kid, and took him behind a tree. "I've kidnapped you!" said the blonde and then proceeded to write a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10.000 in a paper bag and place it under the pecat tree next to the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show his parents. The next morning the blonde checked under the tree and surely enough, a paper bag was sitting there. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10.000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it." I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned. So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, 15 miles, NINETEEN miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.

I don't get it. What are you all talking about. I'm just kidding. I wish I knew some blonde jokes but unfortunately I don't, but even if I did I probably wouldn't tell them because I am a blonde.

blonde:Waiter, there's a fly in my soup. Waiter:That's all right sir, he won't drink much. ~~~~~~ Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg. blonde: Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card. ~~~~~~~~~ blonde:Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup. Waiter: So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?