What is the best age for your child to get punishment or to be spank?

Philippines
June 6, 2010 1:52pm CST
I have a 3 year old son and a spoiled one because he is the only baby in our family and the only boy that's why his grandfather(my father) spoil him. There are times that he is uncontrollable that he really test my patience; he acts like a bully when he saw a small kid, throw a tantrum when his whims will not be granted, he doesn't listen, and a lot more. I really wanted to try spanking to let him know that he done something wrong, do you think it is advisable to spank a 3 year old child? please do help.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@cicisnana (772)
• United States
8 Jun 10
At 3 years of age your child is old enough to understand being punished and the adversities of such. He must stand in the corner for 6 minutes because he pulled his sisters hair, afterward, he must apologize to his sister and promise not to do it again. If he does, he is sent to his room for 12 minutes and looses privelege of a toy for the day. All of this because he pulled his sisters hair. Now, say the next day you catch him and sister playing nicely together and he even shares a toy with her. At the end of their play date you pull him aside and say "Henri, what a good boy you are being today. Here is your toy back, and if you continue playing nice with sister, you, daddy and sister and I will all go for ice cream tonight." Now he see's the actions of positive behavior. So much better than spanking. You spank him and he thinks, I was bad and I got hit, so if sister, mother, brother, anyone for that matter does something he thinks is not right, he is going to think it is right for him to hit them!
• United States
28 Jun 10
I guess I am a bit old fashioned for my age... I do believe in spanking a child. I do not feel like they will learn otherwise! Like the Bible says Spare the Rod Spoil the Child. I would NEVER spank my child with anything other than my hand though. I was spanked when I was a child and my friends did a whole lot worse things than I have ever done because they just had a "time out". I don't think "Time Out" is enough to teach a child, I feel like they think it's a joke. I turned out to be a pretty good person who never got into much trouble because I knew what was coming when I got home if I did something bad. I have a 2 year old son and when he does something wrong, he get's a spanking if I put him in "Time Out" he would laugh at me...
@ellago (127)
• Philippines
7 Jun 10
My husband and I attended a parenting seminar last weekend and it was advised that we can start spanking a kid at the age of 2. However, we need to check if his violation is because of dishonesty, disobedience, disrespect or hurting other people. We need first to make him understand why it is bad. We can't punish a child without teaching him. And after giving him a punishment, we need to tell, remind him and make him understand that we are doing it for his own good because we love them.
• United States
9 Jun 10
I was spanked ever since I was 8... (Asian style)... Instead of spanking, some really good punishments my older brother used to use on me was making be in a certain uncomfortable position for a really long time...
8 Jun 10
I dont agree with smacking a child though on occasion I have tapped my two year olds hand when she is doing something really dangerous such as going near the cooker if Ive told her not to in the hope she will associate the smack with danger. Instead my daughter goes on the naughty spot and more offen than not it actually works. Of course their are times she may scream for ages though she stays on her spot until she calms down with me going back every couple of minutes to ask her if shes ready to say sorry. We have done this with her since she was a year old as she had a terrible temper though these days her temper is much better because she knows the consequences. It will take a while to get into the naughty spot habit and will probably try your patience at first though I would always reccomend that over smacking them any day.
12 Jun 10
I don't think a child is ever too young to be punished. Obviously you can't shout at a newborn and expect them to know what's going on. But as soon as they start knowing what they're doing, then it's time to discipline them. This is especially true in the cases where things are dangerous, if they go to run across a road, they need to be told off for it, so they understand "I run across the road and mummy/daddy shouts which isn't good". I also believe though that you have to reward them. Maybe with a chart, if they do something like wash the dishes, tidy their bedroom, make their bed etc, then they get a star. If they get a star every day of the week, they get a treat. Nothing expensive or big, but maybe they get to play on their gamestation or if you give them an allowance, they have to get a star everyday to get their allowance, if they don't get 7 stars (so one a day)- then they get no money that week!! :)
• Philippines
6 Jun 10
i don't really believe in using spanking as a punishment..if you want to control your kid..use the rewards and punishment solution..if your child did something bad..punish your child by not allowing him to play for an hour or let him face the wall or think of something harmless but don't spank your kid..and then later on..explain to your child why you punish him..then if your child did something good too..give them rewards..buy him/her a toy, give chocolates, go out to carnivals, go for a movie..and don't forget to explain to them why you are rewarding them..in that way..they have an option of which one is more enjoyable for them..eventually they will go for the rewards and they will never test your patience again..
@ET28LV (1890)
• Latvia
6 Jun 10
Hello! I think there is not the right and real moment to get punishment. Parents need to punish their kids every time when they do something bad. At this years kids are sorely and disobey. If parents do not punish their kids then do not wait something good for kids. The worst thing is then you have spoiled your kid. When he grow up you repent it. I know that you as parent want only all goodness to your kid, but you can not spoil he to maximum.
• Indonesia
6 Jun 10
do not commit violence on children ^_^