hubby is lost without his buddies
@easymoney75503 (1702)
United States
June 10, 2010 9:48am CST
we have 2 girls and well hubby has always had a job where the kids stay with him. he works from home since they were like 5 and 7. well now they are teenagers and they just dont want to hang out with dad all the time. we home school and so he is use to them being with him alot. now that summer is here they want to play with there friends 24 / 7 and not him. they are his buddies they go dirt bike riding, fishing, video games, doing projects togehter everything. he sits in the floor with them and does arts and crafts i mean if they have something that they want to do and it sounds fun he is all for it. he is like another kid sometimes. i hate going to the hobby store. they are into rc planes, cars, etc and it gets up there in price when they all see soemthing they like. well now the planes are sitting, the cars are sitting, unfinished paintings, everything cause they want to be outside with just there friends there age from sun up till sundown. we manage an apartment complex so all tehre friends live here. there is about 30 of them all togehter. most dont have dads at home so of course hanging with dad is not cool. he is lost. i try to do things ith him but i am not into the planes and stuff so i am boring to him lol when it comes to play time with toys. we have our things that we do toether like fishing and so forth but then we take the kids and you can tell they want to be with friends. i just dont know what to do for him he looks so sad sometimes. its like he lost his bestfriends.
2 people like this
5 responses
@elvieb02 (694)
• Philippines
11 Jun 10
well, i think aside from doing things with him, how about you have him join some organization that do other things and that will give him opportunity to meet other people. he was just been isolated with your kids that's why he is feeling like that. have him sign up with different clubs that do stuffs or if this is not enough, have him consult with psychologist.
@tinym8 (423)
• United States
11 Jun 10
You have received some very good responses! Another idea may be to shift his play time with the girls. He was probably used to playing with them at all times of the day. Now during the daylight hours especially they want to be out with their friends. Perhaps their dad could play with them at night before bedtime. Do they like board games? We used to play board games with our son a lot. We all enjoyed it. We also used to read books as a family and my husband would be the "reader". Find a really good book that everyone would enjoy (maybe an action book or a comedy) and enjoy it as a family. You could read a chapter a night.
1 person likes this
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
10 Jun 10
Aww poor Dad... it's like Empty Nest Syndrome is already starting... although they haven't moved out. They just kind of moved on. It's hard for a parent (mother OR father) to be with the children all day every day, raising them, tending to all their needs, sharing their time... and then, all of a sudden, they are grown and they want lives of their own. It sounds like Dad has done an excellent job with them, being at home and home schooling and all. Now, he's going to have to re-discover who HE is, too. I hope that he has some interests of his own that weren't centered around the children. Now may be the time to explore those again. If you have teenagers, I'm sure he can also get some time away from the house? He could take up some form of exercise, join a gym, do some volunteer work, consider a part-time job outside the house... or, if he's really missing the fun and activities, he could even consider being a daycare provider for some younger children again. It would keep him busy, doing the things he's done for so long, and would also supplement the family income a bit. He may seem lost right now but I'm sure it won't take long until he discovers his place in the world again... beside his children and cheering them on but letting them use everything they have learned from him to experience their own worlds. I wish him (and your whole family) all the best ;)
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
10 Jun 10
Hi easymoney,
All kids need a good male role model in their lives. Maybe he could go out and get them all involved in a good ballgame or a game of soccer or something. Or he could take them to the beach or out to icecream or something. They are teens and now that they are older and the weather being good, it is normal for them to want to spend more and more time with friends. I think the key would be to think of things to do with them and allow them to invite some friends along.
1 person likes this
@aquariand (464)
•
10 Jun 10
It's alawys hard when the children get older and want to fly the nest, mine are grown up now and all three of them have left home and i was lost without them. the house seemed really empty but I have adjusted well and first of all I got a job in care where i could still fulfil the need to look after someone, them I found hobbies I can do on my own and also i got a dog, who is always with me and need excersice so i have plenty to do now.
i hope you find a solution to your problem, best wishes
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