The proper way to deliver bad news!

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This is how to call in a bad news! The phone in Don Carlos' mansion rang in the morning ... 'Hello, Master Carlos? This is Arnaldo, the caretaker in your Hacienda. 'Oh, Arnaldo, how are you? Is there is a problem there right now?' 'Um, I just called to inform you that your parrot died.' 'What? Do you mean the one which won the bird show?' 'Yes, Master Carlos, that's it!' 'What? I spent a fortune for that bird! Hey, what happened, how did it die?' 'Sir, it got out of the cage and it ate rotten meat...' 'Rotten meat? And who fed him rotten meat?' 'N-None, sir. They fed from the remains of the dead horse.' 'Dead horse? What dead horse, Mr. Arnaldo?' 'Uhm, your thoroughbred horses, Sir. One died because they're all tired, pulling the water wagon.' 'Are you nuts? What water wagon?' 'The ones we are using here to put out fire, Sir.' 'God please! What fire are you talking about?' 'The fire that almost consumed the house... There was a lighted candle and the curtain caught fire and it quickly spread all over the house.' 'What d f***? Isn't it that there's electricity there? For what was the candle?' 'For the wake, sir.' 'What? What wake?' 'For your mother, Sir. She came here last night without any notification. It was Beyond midnight already and I thought it was a burglar so I shot her.'