would you talk with your ex-lover?

@smiley83 (1534)
Malaysia
June 17, 2010 2:53am CST
Hey friends... Well, I am just wondering on how would you deal with your ex? would you talk again with no feelings popping up? Is it possible to do that? Personally, It is really difficult to do so..Well, I do try to keep myself strong or pretending to be strong. however, such a strength is totally GONE after few minutes of talking to him & then the strength is Backed again!! Gosh, It is so confusing
10 people like this
69 responses
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
18 Jun 10
Hi smiley~ Maybe not enough time has passed for you to get over him. Sometimes you need to put more time and space between the two of you before you try to talk or connect again. Unless, maybe he is trying to get back with you and this isn't always the best idea since it usually comes out of being with someone "familiar" rather than finding someone "new" and having to start all over agan. I have been through some many different relationships of different varities that I can pretty much give you a sample of each! How sad is that? Give yourself time to heal and feel first! That is why the confusion! You'll figure it out! Hugs, Opal
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
21 Jun 10
Oh smiley! You are way too young and gorgeous (I peeked at your avatar!) to even think about this guy for another minute! Damn girl if I looked like you I wouldn't give his another thought! You are hot honey and I'm not into women!Listen to me smiley, you had only one bad relationship and you are only 25! By then I had at least 6 or more! So, count yourself lucky and smart! You will meet the "right one" and probably sooner than you think! Just keep doing what you're doing, thinking with your head, not heart and wait! I know you will be fine! Forget this loser! Move on! And stop talking to him, not even necessary! Cut him off totally and see how much better you feel! Believe me I surely know! I've had tons of practice, unfortunately and still never found my "Prince"! But, it's too late for me, but not for you! Go get em'! Hugs, Opal
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
16 Jul 10
so sorry babe for replying late... LOL thanks so much for such a complement ... LOL yeah I like you too but i'm not into women either hahahhhaa you are sooooo cool awh gosh, it is just soo difficult to completely forget about him..but I'm trying my best... I have deactivated my facebook account simply to cut him off.. I removed him from YM and MSN and now i'm very much trying to remove him from my heart and from the deep inside my mind... I can't deny that I do think of him but i'm not into accepting him again into my life awh sweetie don't think like that.. I do hope that you will find someone who deserves your sweetness as you are sooooo sweet
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
21 Jun 10
hey Opal!! it is really great to see you always!! well, we broke up 3 semesters ago..he is my first ex and I'm not emotionally strong to move with another guy as i feel so empty from the inside..I tried to move on thought that moving with another one would somehow help in forgetting the past but it wasn't a good idea..so, i turned to be single with only one ex bf! It is not easy to talk with him again although I do miss him, however; my heart is full of anger and disgust and the more I think of him the more frustrated I would be..Although, I do miss him at the same time or maybe I missed who I thought he was! Awh Opal the whole issue is so confusing!!
• United States
17 Jun 10
To be perfectly honest with you that happened to me as well. Before my ex and i broke up we were friends. We have tried to go back to that but it never is the same again because they have seen you in a whole different light that most people do not see you in. Everytime I see my ex, I see things I shared with that person wether it was something intimate,personal or an inside joke. I suggest maybe having as little contact as possible but DO NOT completely ignore this person, that could cause more problems. Focus on yourself or pursue other relationships and you will see that with time the confusion will start to go away and you will be okay with being around your ex.
1 person likes this
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
@ Electric that is so true!! I'm still unable to treat him like a normal friend..It is just so difficult and awkward to accept the fact that my lover has turned to be a friend! It is still difficult especially, the breakup issue wasn't my idea at all!
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
@ Alvaro yeah me too as I still can't pretend that I'm feeling cool..It is still difficult to do that.. Awh you shared a Youtube link! OK I'll check it out
• Mexico
18 Jun 10
Hi Electric: I agree with you. You can't act pretending that nothing has happend, but time is the best cure for everything and if you don't totally ignore him you can eventually start to talk him and maybe in the future you'll be friends, think about the past and laugh. I love a music video of Gwen Stefani: "Cool" and I find it beautiful. It's a lovely story I think http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGwZ7MNtBFU Thanks for sharing with us your own experience on this subject. Have a nice day. ALVARO.
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
19 Jun 10
If I was in your place, I would have to come to a specific decision. I would have to determine, do I want to peruse this relationship again, or not. If I do, and I want to make a family out of this relationship, then pursue it, but be very clear and direct with the other person about your position. If not, then by putting myself in a position where I know I am weak, I am setting myself up for hurt. That's a bad plan. If I want to lose weight, I don't spend all day in the candy shop. If I know I have a weakness for chocolate cake, I don't buy a huge double decker chocolate cake, and place it on the table. That's setting myself up for failure, and then hurt at failing to lose weight. If you do not want to be with this guy, like a real family, as a real wife, and a real husband, then stay away from him. You'll just end up hurt.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
21 Jun 10
Well, I thought about that long time back that is why I was committed into the relation! In fact, everything was so smooth in between till he suddenly splashed up with the issue of breakup without having any related conflicts and fights before! things were fine or I thought were fine!! By the way, I liked your example about the weight loss and the candy thing!! It is cute
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
16 Jul 10
awh thanks sooooooooo much for such a great comfort!! I really liked your explanation so much... well, we were just couples..simple couples..we weren't living together or any such sort.. we broke up coz he doesn't wanna get married! he just wanted an open life and I basically want a marriage..so, we broke up in the beginning of the semester that it was so hard for me to focus as he was my first love... after the breakup; he did show some concerns but I just ignored his action simply coz I was really hurt that I don't want any connection.. after some time; I started having a slight feelings if I happened to meet him at facebook or on the way..but, i have already deactivated my facebook account simply to cut him off my mind otherwise I can't get cured!
@andy77e (5156)
• United States
21 Jun 10
Were you living together? Were you married? Or were you just dating? This still goes back to whether you are setting yourself up for hurt. What you found out is, love isn't all you need. You need character. Do you know why he left? Do you know what the reason was? Did he ever tell you why? Because if he just ditched you, and never had a reason, how can you trust that this time he won't do that again? The reason why is very important. Sometimes a man can get really nervous. Is this really what I want to do with my life? Is this really who I want to spend my life with? A sad part of the human heart is, we never really understand what we have until we lose it. I know a guy who was dating a girl for years and years. He never felt like marrying. Finally, he decided he wanted to marry, but really didn't know about this girl. So he politely told her he'd like to break up, and move on. Ironically it was him breaking up with her, that showed him how great she was. He met girl and after girl, and dated for 12 months, and at the end of that, he realized just how much of a beautiful pearl of a women his old girlfriend was. He called her up and asked for a date, now their married and have a small family with kids. Unfortunately, on the opposite side, I've seen guys who simply liked to be wild, and run around with whomever they please. They leave, come back, leave again, come back, and don't care they are absolutely destroying the soul of the women they are toying with. This is the hard part. You have to learn very cautiously, which is it with this guy you know. There is no 3 easy steps to finding out. But don't let him ruin you. If he starts messing with you, dump him immediately. Don't hold out for "maybe he'll come around". Life is too short for that.
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
It is possible to talk to your ex especially if you parted as friends. However, if the break up was a disastrous and painful one, then it will take time probably before the two of you can be in the speaking terms again. Also, it is impossible if you haven't move on yet from the relationship you had with him, meaning you are still in love with him. In my case, it is difficult to talk to my ex face to face because I hid from him for years. I can only talk to him via text or phone.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
20 Jun 10
Awh yeah that is exactly what is happening to me! it is so difficult to speak again to him after what he had done to me! the whole breakup was his idea..he in fact surprised me with the overall issue by simply telling me some painful words to be the last words in between!! it is still a shocking experience!!
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
10 Jul 10
awh I very much wish to sing this lyric too later on!! it very much helps dear! yeah I wish I could only remember his face with no feelings too!! thanks and wish you a great day..hope your daughter would come so soon to enjoy the fun together
• Philippines
22 Jun 10
But anger and pain subsides as time passes by. Isn't it that time heals all wounds? Who knows maybe one day, you will have the courage to face him head on. As the line in a song goes, "I remember the boy but I don't remember the feeling anymore." That time will surely come to you and you'll be ok facing him again.:-)
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
17 Jun 10
hi smiley,nice to hear from you again,my sugar! well,i'm kinda feeling funny when i read your topic,cause for a long time i just finished talking to my ex,yeah a while ago i was chatting with him,and thinking if he still loves me,for i am not in love with him anymore. we just chat for small talks but not long ones which interferes our private lives. we live separate lives now and we haven't known more of each other. i don't feel comfortale anymore if we talk long conversations,so better have the chat ones. well,it's all up to you if you still want to talk to him.but i myself don't like the idea,anymore though i still want to be friends with him,i just don't want to give him false hopes again...
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
17 Jun 10
Awh you just had a short conversation with him!! that is good Anna!! I wish I could have cold feelings too..but, it still seems so difficult to accept the fact that he is no longer mine!! I can't believe that my first love cheated and betrayed my trust! I can't forget his last hurting words Anna!! I was so blind to the fact that he was treating me differently to end up the relation! I thought he was just frustrated with his own issues that influenced him to treat me that way! It never crossed my mind of the breakup issue!! never Anna!
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
28 Jun 10
yeah I hope so Vivi..The pain seems to have moved out of my heart..but it doesn't seem so from my mind as my mind still somehow remembering the cruelty of the situation! But, i hope things would get off soon... thanks lots dearie and so sorry as i couldn't make it to chat out with u :(
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
21 Jun 10
you must have a really bad break up my sugar,oh, cheer up my friend! there are lots of guys out there and you are still young,enjoy being single and don't rush on things.i know our time will come to meet our destined man to be with the rest of our lives. i know heartbreaks is really hard to move on. i somehow felt the same way.but i guess he was the one who really loves me,so i know he hurts the most when we broke up. don't think of him too much,my dearie! just let your life filled with fun,it will not be good for you to just sit in the corner and cry all you want. there's always a perfect answer to every question,and fulfillment to every dream!
• United States
18 Jun 10
I just either talk with them as friends, or if it is really that awkward we never even look at each other. It is possible to do that, but it depends on who wanted the break up. If you did, then you might have no problems, but if your ex did it, then you might be a little possessive of him. But after a while, you might get over it and just become normal friends, best friends, or ignore each for the rest of your life.
1 person likes this
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
21 Jun 10
Awh I'm waiting badly for the healing time to wash my sadness and tears!! he ended up the relation for no logical reason!! that is really driving me so frustrated
@idowrite72 (2213)
• United States
19 Jun 10
It all depends on the 2 people and how their relationship went. I talk to two men who I have been with. One I wouldn't give the time of day when we broke up and we talk online now and then. The other I split with before we got to not liking each other and we talk all the time on the phone. It really does depend on the people and the circumstances. I've had 2 husbands who I never talk to and could care less if I ever do again.
• United States
21 Jun 10
The healing process is sometimes a long one, but if the right person should come along, you will love again. It might not be the same as that other love, but it will be right for the situation. Sure it hurts now, but it will lessen as time goes on , as you said.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
21 Jun 10
yeah you are right as all has to depend on how the relation ended as u said..well, he is the one who ended up the relation and that is why i'm feeling so empty from the inside as all the love I had was already given to him that i'm not able to love again! or probably coz it takes lots of time for the healing procedure to show up!
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@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
16 Jul 10
awh I do hope so dear.. I hope that, time would heal up everything soon thanks dear..
@katsmeow1213 (28719)
• United States
17 Jun 10
I was with this one guy for over a year, it was my first serious relationship. It was a really bad one though. We finally broke up, but then one night he called and asked if we could still be friends. I could feel that I wasn't strong enough to speak with him without wanting to take him back, but I knew I couldn't take him back. So at that point I stopped speaking to him forever. I am very happy that I did.
• United States
18 Jun 10
Once you make the decision to stop seeing him or speaking to him, it will get easier in time. Before long you'll find someone else and the old boyfriend won't even be on your mind anymore. But you won't be able to move on while you still communicate with him.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
10 Jul 10
yeah that is so true! that is why I don't want to talk with him and eventually not now as the pain is still there..so, I would wait for the time to heal up everything..
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
Awh really? how did you manage that? I wish I could do that too! he was my frst relationship & I was so in love with him that I'm still unable to accept the fact that he betrayed my trust and caused the overall breakup issue! It is so difficult that I can't find myself talking to him with no hidden feelings!
@_Honey_ (780)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
Hello, I had a relationship with my first bf for almost three years till we broke up back in 2006. It was the hardest thing I ever had to go through as far as my opinion is concerned. I always found myself crying when I'm alone and that time, I realized that I hadn't moved on at all. Time heals all wounds as they say and I'm now sure that I'm over him. It's been four years now since we broke up. Just recently, he contacted me again. I still hear and notice the very familiar voice when called me on the phone. I felt happy hearing and knowing he's okay and I realized that it's all I felt for him. I didn't feel anything more.I realized that I'm really over. I think what they say is true that if you're already over with someone, you wouldn't feel any remorse, jealousy, pain and missing anymore. All you'll feel for this person is you want him happy and healthy and that's just about it. Cheers, Honey
@_Honey_ (780)
• Philippines
21 Jun 10
smiley dear, you'll get there I assure. Just let time heal you and you'll know yourself better. Later on, you will realize what you're really worth and you'll just feel happy to have met him once in your life as part of your history. there's more to come in our lives. let's not close our doors!
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
16 Jul 10
same here... my family too keeps on advising me to let the doors open but i'm just not able to do so at the moment.. I kept on closing the doors recently by keeping myself busy to have no time to meet others! I know it is a negtive attitude but I'm just not too ready.. I would just wait for the right time.. thanks so much dear...
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
21 Jun 10
awh that is good for u Honey! yeah time did heal up the wounds and luckily you moved on! I hope I can get that too..maybe i do need extra time as having just 3 semesters away is not enough! So, I would wait for my wounds to get healed too *_* thanks Honey...
• United States
17 Jun 10
I am friends with many (in fact most) of my exes. Some people think that it is weird, but I don't think that it is. There have been a few awkward times and circumstances, but for the most part it is just a normal and natural progression. Many times, we couldn't get along as a couple, but we still liked and respected each other, so it was just natural to stay friends. Of course, it also depends on the relationship between the two people when they are together and how they separated. Sometimes, bitterness and betrayal make it nearly impossible to maintain a friendship. If this were the case, then I think that I would try to avoid the other person whenever possible.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
yeah that is what happening to me!! It is still difficult to do that! he is the one who caused the overall breakup issue!! he betrayed me! It is so difficult to normally talk to the person whom I was committed to!! But, how could you talk with your exes without having any disturbed feelings? I would really hope to be like that too..but, it is so difficult that I don't think I would manage that..
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@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
10 Jul 10
yeah I do hope the same thing here..but mostly it is still hurt..so, I would just let the time to heal the pain ... thanks a lot dearie for the advice
• United States
18 Jun 10
I don't know. I guess it is because they were good people, and we were friends. I think that is the most important part - the friendship. If you are not friends with your partner, then I do not think the relationship will last. That will also make it a lot more difficult when you encounter them after the break-up. Being friends with your partner does not mean that your relationship will last on a romantic level, but it is much more likely that you can continue to be friends afterward ... or at least that has been my experience, and I know others that have had similar experiences. I was betrayed by one of my exes, and it hurt a lot. I carried around a lot of anger towards him for a while, but eventually the anger got less. Now, we will talk on holidays and special occasions. We will never hang out together and do things like that, but we can be nice to each other and not be bitter about what happened. That is in the past, and we have both moved on.
• India
18 Jun 10
Hi, No I wouldn't. It is not recommended, at least in a few years after break up. Once you are sure that you don't remember his face anymore, you can open yourself up for a conversation. But never before that. Thanks God bless you
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
20 Jun 10
yeah you are really right as it is sooooo difficult to talk to the person who broken my heart for no logical reason at all!! Thanks Getbiswa & God bless u too
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
16 Jul 10
awh thanks soooooooo much for that...yeah it is sooo great explanation! I like it.. yeah that is so true as after the breakup, I tended to look for a replacement and that replacement was a guy..but it was temporary as I didn't feel anything and he too didn't feel anything..but rather; he kept on scolding me a lot..It was wrong from the beginning as I was supposed to take time to think deeply over what happened..but I didn't! I just started to think deeply and logically despite the fact of being too late though! but, i'm trying...
• India
21 Jun 10
Most of us lay stress on 'moving on' while I emphasize more on having a small period of hiatus after a break up. After a relationship is ended, if you are terribly hurt, you will look for something to amuse yourself, something that helps you to forget. You start hurrying and that makes you take wrong decisions. You move on too quickly, because you can't endure the pain. This is when the person gets involve with wrong person, just to get over a broken relationship. What I recommend is that, you take some time. Understand a few things about your relationship and yourself. During this, you try to avoid everything that may drift your focus away. We continue making mistakes because we omit this phase of realization between any two mistakes. Take some rest. Try to feel the fact that you don't actually need anybody to be happy. You can be happy and satisfied all by yourself. You understand the responsibility of whatever happened to you. You stop blaming yourself for entering into a relationship which turned into a failure. You forgive him and everybody who hurt you. Then you heal yourself slowly, but surely. You will learn something form this phase. This is worth the pain. You may not realize it now, but after 1-2years you are gonna thank me for this. Thanks May god always be with you
• India
16 Jul 10
no harm in talking ,u can also keep on loving her ,nothing is permanent
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
16 Jul 10
@ akhileshnigam we just need to be extra careful.. it is not easy
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
16 Jul 10
@ prabhakushwaha it seems we have to be aware about the old relationships and the new one if there is any *_*
• India
16 Jul 10
i thought no harm for old relationship , but you alert for future
@vedanta (304)
• India
18 Jun 10
hey if we meet somebody in this world that is because of any unresolved issue. so people came to our life its true for everybody. what is unresolved we are pure positive energy so always spread of power of god " unconditional love " dosent matter Ex or Y. if that is Ex definitely you had had some good moments. feel that wonderful feeling and say thanks for him.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
21 Jun 10
well, I don't think it is possible to say hi to him again although he was everything to me! But, it is not possible to welcome him as a friend again in my life simply because his last words painted the whole issue with a black color!
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
16 Jul 10
yeah you are right...it is a matter of take or give and i'm giving him off! not for now..i'm not 100% over as i do slightly think of him..
@vedanta (304)
• India
21 Jun 10
sweet heart i an not saying to take him back in your life. i am saying if you want him grab 100% if you dont let him go 100%. this is life and there r the normal things. if you want to let him go send blessing to him.thanks for those good moments.forget all others things. if you cant that means the issue is not resolved.mother nature will take him in front of you in this life or next liefs.
@anneeliz (94)
• United States
19 Jun 10
I was married 23 years ago to my last boyfriend :D. Before that I was in a committed relationship and in the middle of that relationship we did have a break-up that lasted a few months, at his doing. In addition to my emotional feelings of hurt and loss, I remember feeling quite adrift, alone, and unsure. I wish I had had someone in my life at that time to tell me how to get through the pain. Looking back on that time, it would have been good for me to have found a new focus so that I wouldn't think so much about him. I heard Dr. Laura today tell a gal to start kick boxing..what a great idea! That is a activity where not only would you gain physical strength and confidence, but you would also be releasing anger, and getting back control in your life :D
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
21 Jun 10
yeah doing such a strong activities like boxing is great as you would feel energetic every time you do that! just imagine to be boxing him instead I wish I could even slap him for real!
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
16 Jul 10
thanks so much dear for providing me with such a great and challenging suggestion!! I like it
• United States
21 Jun 10
Exactly! You get your aggressions and anger out in a productive way. It is a very cathartic exercise and you take your power and control back, focusing on yourself in a positive way, building character and integrity as well. I believe that when you have inner strength and believe and act in that way, you will attract the sort of person who will not want to take advantage of you, but will respect you.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
17 Jun 10
Hi Smiley, I am on speaking terms with most of my ex's. If you really care about the person and the break up was not your idea then it can be really hard. If it was a bitter break up that also can make it difficult. It takes time. As you move forward in your life and especially after you have met someone new then it is a lot easier.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
18 Jun 10
First love is the toughest of all to get over. I'm sorry that you had to go thru all that.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
Hi dear.. yeah, the breakup wasn't my idea at all Sid!! I loved him so badly that he was my first love too..I have never imagined that he would easily cheat on me and betray my trust!! It is so difficult to accept the fact that we are over!!It is sooooo difficult! I still unable to trust others!
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
10 Jul 10
It is ok dear...this is part of life's challenges and I got no other options but to face the truth
• Philippines
17 Jun 10
Ahehehe. Where I am now, I think I can honestly say that I can talk to my ex and have no feelings whatsoever. Though I don't think they would really want to talk to me. LOL. Anyway, I guess once you've really found someone that you want to be with for the rest of your life, your exes would just be really that, an ex, it's the past.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
10 Jul 10
awh thanks so much dearie for the wish wish you a great life and have fun during the weekend
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
18 Jun 10
I wish that so...But, I still can't have a complete trust on others!!I still can't perfectly trust any..It is still so difficult to accept the fact that he cheated on me and betrayed my trust!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
well, yeah, it does take time to get over pain, specially when somebody had hurt you. I wish you well, and hopefully in time, you'll soon get over the pain, and enjoy life and hopefully you can find that perfect person for you.
@juicekodai (1121)
• Philippines
17 Jun 10
im still talking with him too.. but i guess i have to stop... coz no matter how i pretend to be ok, i am not... i thought talking with him will be fine... but i guess it doesnt help at all...
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
17 Jun 10
yeah that is so true! It hurts me too!! I talked with him once, however, I'm still unable to completely forget the pain of the last words he said to me!!
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
i understand.. and sometimes what adds tot he pain is that when he acts like he didn't hurt me at all.. as if nothing really happened... grrrr
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
28 Jun 10
yeah exactly dear!! it hurts me too
@hanna811 (132)
• China
17 Jun 10
I dont know how long have you been part .I just wanna tell you my story .You know when I broke up with my ex bf ,I cant stop myself sending him message but he didnt reply any one .And during the frist year we broke up,I always cried when we talked and I thought I was so stupid .But after one year ,I didnt miss him again and I dont have any feeling when we talked.He asked me back to me but I said no,never .And now I have my boy again,I am very happy now What I want to tell you is just let it go and after some time you will feel better than now ,believe me ,time is the best medicine to your problem.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
17 Jun 10
Awh!! that is so good!! I wish I can do that too...well, we are a part since 3 semesters ago..the thing is, I don't miss him! I miss who I thought he was! However, I'm not able to open my heart to others as I'm very much scared though! It does hurt me every time I remember his last pained words!! It is really so difficult and unbelievable to accept the way he treated me lately! It was the treatment for the breakup, but I just couldn't get the hint during that time! I kept on pretending that he is just passing through personal issues that are making him treat me this way!! he was my first love Hanna!!
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
28 Jun 10
yeah it is such a long time but the hurt seems to be circulated over my mind! so as u said, our thoughts are cruel! yeah it is... thanks so much Hanna for caring wish you a great life dear *_*
@hanna811 (132)
• China
18 Jun 10
What a long time you have been apart !You said you dont miss him ,just miss who you thought he was ,I want to say that is only your thought ,the thought is so cruel sometimes ,it cant match the reality,right ? He was my first love also ,maybe you love your ex so much and I know we girls all love our first love very much and cant forget them easily.But I still hope you can find your nexe boy who can really love you. Good luck ,dear
• Portugal
15 Jul 10
i think you can talk with your ex when there is no feelings anymore.like me and my ex we talked and all was ok bcs we are not in love anymore. you can be friends when there are no love anymore but if you still have feelings for him what it seems to me you might be hurt :( thats why you feel so sad :( anyway does he still love you too? if you both still love each other why dont you try again?^^ maybe this time would work^^ dont be sad ok? cheer up^^ and if you still love him maybe there is a way to make things right^^
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
16 Jul 10
your name indicates that you are too sweet! and it has somehow influenced your thought here yeah your comment is so sweet... well, I don't think so that he has any sort of feelings though he did show some after the breakup but I was too hurt that I didn't take any of his steps seriously...I do have very light feelings every time I think of him! It is still so difficult to forget! he was my first love and coz of him, i'm not able to fall in love again! I'm so scared at the moment and I don't have confidence on anyone..I'm too scared to be hurt again
• Philippines
17 Jul 10
hi there, you catch my attention..As for me, its better not to talk with ex..let by gones be by gones. Ex is already a "past" so leave the past behind and live for the future, meaning better look for a new one and move on. I dont see any reason why keep in touch with an ex.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
17 Jul 10
thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me.. yeah, it is really difficult to talk again... i'm not a brave enough!