Friendship over love.
By Debbie
@debbie_19 (226)
Las Pinas City, Philippines
June 27, 2010 12:45pm CST
It's been always a dilemma for me. I've been gone in circles, round and round, repeating the same pattern. *sigh*
It's like I never learned.
My lovelife's messed up always because of one situation. A love triangle.
Friendship has always been an issue.
Here's why:
My first love affair got complicated because of my childhood friend/bestfriend. I had issues with my ex because my bestfriend used to get jealous of me. Btw, I dunno if it's because my bestfriend had a crush on my ex or bff's seeking attention from me. Quarrels got bigger and bigger... it all ended with a break up.
After 5 years, I fell in love again. We became close, not knowing that she's waiting for her friend to return some favor. So, I waited for almost two years before telling her how I felt. When the moment came, she and her bestfriend was already getting along. I got dumped... but not really dumped coz I chose to keep our friendship instead of pursuing what I had for her. anyways...
Another one came along. We're on the same organization, but she's a newbie. I told her I liked her. I knew it was too soon but I have reasons. We got issues so I stopped bothering her... not knowing that it's my closest friend that she loves.
You might me thinking I really never learned my lesson.
so here comes the last one...
It was summer and everybody's busy with their own activities, may it be outdoor activities or 'hybernating'. Anyways, I met someone whom I never asked for... just when I could say I really got over my past love. She's the bestfriend of my online pal. Everything's complicated. I got dumped again but we're friends. My online pal and I kept aloof from each other because of that issue. Right now, I think we're starting all over again. I was hurt but I guess I'm pretty much better now...
Lesson? Learn to wait for the right ONE.
AND friendship is much close to "FOREVER" than romantic love.
now, can you tell me what else should I learn?
LOL. :) btw, thank you for reading my story. :)
1 person likes this
4 responses
@hexeduser22 (7253)
• Philippines
27 Jun 10
learn to be patient and love yourself first
Its not bad to have tried and failed actually this experiences can even be a stepping stone for us in the future.
I can see that you know what you need to learn and it's not that your learning curve is steep that's why you ended up finding yourself in a mess over and over again its just that you fear to put into actions what you have learned. I guess you are afraid of being alone so that's why even though you know what to do you still do the wrong things you do. Your young you should not rush things.
I'm sure a wonderful person thats right for you will come in the right time. When that time comes be prepared. Its not only in fairy tales that we get to see happy endings we can have our own happy ending too if we really wish and worked for it.
Remember don't ever give up on love because
"It's the lover not the love
who broke your heart last night
It's the lover not the dream
who desert you"
(taken from the song "lover not the love")
Its not bad to have tried and failed actually this experiences can even be a stepping stone for us in the future.
I can see that you know what you need to learn and it's not that your learning curve is steep that's why you ended up finding yourself in a mess over and over again its just that you fear to put into actions what you have learned. I guess you are afraid of being alone so that's why even though you know what to do you still do the wrong things you do. Your young you should not rush things.
I'm sure a wonderful person thats right for you will come in the right time. When that time comes be prepared. Its not only in fairy tales that we get to see happy endings we can have our own happy ending too if we really wish and worked for it.
Remember don't ever give up on love because
"It's the lover not the love
who broke your heart last night
It's the lover not the dream
who desert you"
(taken from the song "lover not the love")
1 person likes this
@debbie_19 (226)
• Las Pinas City, Philippines
27 Jun 10
so true. I've always been afraid of putting things into action... fear that I might be left alone bleeding. I always thought it's like in the movies. but it's not unfortunately.
Btw, I like the song. :) don't worry I have every reason for not giving up. :) aja! :D It's the hard way, I know... still I'm learning :)
1 person likes this
@hexeduser22 (7253)
• Philippines
27 Jun 10
I guess you were excited to make your very own interest and you just put it in major category
You made a double meaner on this it seems that you're instigating I "do" you
You made a double meaner on this it seems that you're instigating I "do" you@debbie_19 (226)
• Las Pinas City, Philippines
27 Jun 10
oh.. sorry for that. yes I was excited posting this because I just had a casual conversation with my online pal. I'm glad that we talked again. Remember we were aloof from each other? It's like a mutual agreement or something. She doesn't like me bothering her bestfriend so she tried staying away from me, as I too, did the same but because of guilt. But now that I dont have any means to contact her bestfriend, I think it's done and we're starting over again our friendship. :)
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
28 Jun 10
Before others could say or respond, you have already chosen the best response and mind you, this discussion of yours figures in today's 'top discussion' category.
You need to know that no one is perfect and before relying on anyone, you need to be very sure that he is reliable. You need to build up your relationship, step by step with your male friends. Hope things would turn out better for you.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
29 Jun 10
If you have shared many of your secrets with him and you find him reliable, it is fine.
1 person likes this
@debbie_19 (226)
• Las Pinas City, Philippines
28 Jun 10
He's my friend. one of the closest actually... so I believe he's reliable enough cause he knows a lot of things about me. :)
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
28 Jun 10
Hi debbie! Glad we are now friends! I think that you need to take
things alot slower before getting into what you think might end
up as a relationship. You need to take more time to really get
to know someone as a friend firstand I am talking about
really learning them. That is a mistake alot of people make.
My bf and I were friends first. We got to know each other before
we dated and when he needed a temporary place to live he came
here and has been here almost three years now! Any two people,
whether they are just friends, lovers whatever, at least to
me need to know and trust each before anything else can happen.
1 person likes this
@debbie_19 (226)
• Las Pinas City, Philippines
28 Jun 10
Hey there! :D
anyways, I, too, believe that friendship could lead somewhere else... But I guess I got traumatized by how my second love affair went. We'd been friends for almost 2 years... does that mean I should ha ve waited longer? LOL. I get your point though.
@apresto (127)
• Bulgaria
28 Jun 10
Friendship can last longer than love, but it's up to you to decide what you're looking for. Love can have more responsibillities but freedom is a little more individual than friendly one. Your story is a bit dramatic but you never know, right. People are responsible for their actions but they can't be responsible for their feelings in the same way, so it's hard to tell what is stronger or what is higher. Personally I would prefer friendship over love, because it includes love in the more light way that you're not that obliged but it comes naturally.
1 person likes this
@debbie_19 (226)
• Las Pinas City, Philippines
28 Jun 10
yeah, it's kinda dramatic. :) but it's normal for me already... as of now, I'm choosing whatever makes me happy, and it includes companionship from a lot of friends. I just realized that there's no need to demand attention from one person if there are many of them who can give me much more affection than I could ever ask... loving my own (peers). :)
