How would you feel?
By med889
@med889 (5941)
June 28, 2010 6:02am CST
I was working lately but I had to drop because my exams were near, and I gave up the job to concentrate on my studies wholly, it has been some eight months since I am at home. So whenever I go out with my boyfriend, he pays for either the lunch or the dinner. Sometimes when I am with him, I want to eat something and I feel so awkward to even ask as I wonder if ever he tells me something I might feel bad.
I share a relationship for the past four years with him and still when it comes to money I prefer to ask someone else than him. I am sure to feel really bad if he ever tells me that he is spending a lot of money with me!
At the beginning he used to bring some small biscuits or chocolates for me after work but now I do not even ask him as I feel he may say that I am "asking" him something and there is always the feeling of 'fear' to hear something from him about money, though I do not depend on him entirely.
1 person likes this
13 responses
@th52096 (469)
• Philippines
28 Jun 10
As a guy, I know that we do spend a lot of money just for the girl we love. Sometimes, we think about it and start regretting but then we realize it was all worth it. :D
This totally reminds me of this one time, my ex left her lunch money so I offered to give her money and did, after lunch she came back and returned it. She borrowed from her friend instead.
It must be pretty embarrassing huh? Borrowing money from the one you love.. But, I'll tell you this, a guy would never tell a girl that he is spending too much for her, he'll always say it's fine. :D So you can ask him but don't always do it. He probably knows your situation and understands so it's totally cool for him :D
Good day and Happy MyLotting
2 people like this
@shibham (16977)
• India
1 Jul 10
hi med.
its very true that boys dont seek to give financial pressure to their girl friends. its very common and may be the girlfriends feel bad when finding their boyfriends bearing lots of money for them.
boy friends feel lucky when they can spend money for their girlfriends. really i would feel happy and proud if i would have someone to spend money.hahaha
take care.
1 person likes this
@Ladyslipper (1327)
• Philippines
29 Jun 10
One way to have a strong relationship is to be open with each other and support each other no matter what. You've been together for 4 long years as if you're already husband and wife. If he knows your situation and understand it I guess he would not mind. Sometimes, it is really embarrassing to ask for something from our partner. However, as you get to know each other, start to open up and discuss things you can't tell to anyone else you get to realize what your partner lacks that you have to fill. Relationship is give and take. It does not mean only material things. If you truly love him and you get to show that to him in other ways then I think he would not mind spending anything at all for you as long as it's for something sensible.
1 person likes this
@carrie_023 (61)
• China
29 Jun 10
as your boyfriend who really loved you, he will be happy to do every thing for you especially when you are in the trouble. as a man, it is the good chane for him to show how much he loved you and also you can see whether he is the man you can spend the left of your life with him. with best wishes.
1 person likes this
@inday_lorna1970 (1268)
• United States
29 Jun 10
Well, in a relationship it should be open on everything. no hiding! feeling is very important, if you ask me: I would rather talk to him about it because if he truly love you he won't mind it like my husband since I stayed home for our baby I do ask things from him and he said he don't mind it..he love me and my baby and he said if I won't ask him on anything I want and go to our neighbor to ask and he found it he sound that he is irresponsible kind of husband! that's why we don't argue over money! we always talk about on almost everything because we don't want to hide something from each other! We've been together for four years now but we never had arguments.
1 person likes this
@raviteja_ravi84 (2620)
• India
29 Jun 10
You are a girl. If you were a boy and you like a certain girl then whatever you do even if it has some compromises it will be worth it. You have known each other for so long and he takes very good care of you. I would say that he loves you a lot and he would do anything for you. Well you should just go ahead and ask him. You also care for him a lot and you don't want to hurt your relationship that's why you have such a fear. And sometimes it's a good thing too. It shows to which extent you would go to not lose someone special like him.
1 person likes this
@reckon21 (3479)
• Philippines
28 Jun 10
For us men we totally understand a girls situation. Of course it's always been a mans treat every time he go out with her girlfriend. We usually are the ones who pay for the dinner or lunch because we feel it's our obligation or shall we say human nature to provide for our love ones needs.
I also have girlfriend like that and I paid for everything when we go out. Not because she don't have money but because i want to. It's my duty to do that and i am happy to spend money on my girlfriend as long I can afford it.
So don't be shy in telling your boyfriend that you need to borrow money from him. I am sure he will understand.
1 person likes this
@reploid (1371)
• France
28 Jun 10
I don't think you should be afraid to ask him something. Relationship is about sharing. If he is willing to help you in one way or another, let him do it. This shows that he cares for you and you should accept anything that he gives you and you should not be afraid to ask for something that you need. I am sure that your boyfriend loves you and understand your situation. Have a nice day, Happy mylotting. ;-)
1 person likes this
@991188 (54)
• India
28 Jun 10
If you ask him for some money, he might get annoyed, you think. If you are in need of money, you prefer to ask some one else. If he ever come to know of this, he surely will get upset.
Hmmm ! Situation is complicated.
Your relationship is four years old. If you don't mind, you have not yet fully known your lover's mind. There seems to be uneasiness between you. Still a little distance, mentally.
When will 1+1 become 1 ? Good luck & best wishes.
1 person likes this
@redphile (2264)
• Philippines
28 Jun 10
you have been together for quite awhile now so you should be able to express to him how you feel. I think there's nothing wrong if he is the one who is doing all the spending. He's the guy, traditionally, its his obligation. Though, you would need to explain that its not necessary for him to give you gifts or sweets everyday, that is if that's alright with you. Talk to him, you don't have to be shy. Good day!
1 person likes this
@udaymohan (437)
• India
28 Jun 10
If both of you are having intimate relation, why should you feel bad or ashamed? In fact, it is his duties also to look after you and take proper care when he knows that you are no more on the job and you are preparing for some exam. Try to talk to him and let him know your problems. I am sure he would understand and would reciprocate.
With best wishes.
1 person likes this
@Joshuael (109)
• China
28 Jun 10
I think you could find some chances to buy something for him.Thus you two are fair and you would feel more balance in the conciousness of money.
Actually the trust and understanding in depth between people is important.If people build up the trust and understanding,they will feel more confident and free in relationship.
You also could show your independence in conducts.Facts are facts,donot care too much about other's judgement upon you.
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