Regrets and its solutions
By oxyde_gyabo
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
Philippines
July 15, 2010 5:34am CST
Most of the topics about regrets ask "what are your regrets". I think we should have a topic about its solutions.
Actually I typed it all around two thousand words and it got all deleted because an error said it is unable to use a certain punctuation. So I have to start over again waah..
Anyway, most of us have regrets. It may be an embarassment, argument, betrayal, lie, and so forth. And most of us don't know the bad effects of having regrets. It affects several factors of our life such as our mind and body health, relationships and opportunities. Regrets hinders us to move on and grow. That is why we should have a solution for it.
Apparently I have made five simple solutions for it. Although simple, know that it is hard because we'll try to change ourselves a bit to solve regrets.
First, throw away your pride. It is the essential thing you should do first. Humility lets us accept our faults and mistakes. We can then sincerely start to apologize and laugh at our blunders after. I know it's hard but it's worthwhile doing so.
Second, laugh at your embarassing moments and mistakes. Know that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. That's what keeps us humans. Laugh at it with yourself and if you'd truly accept it, laugh at it with your good and serious friends. I'll bet you'll look cute doing so because you are forgetting that sadness you had.
Third, be honest. Unless the truth must remain untold(just kidding). There are secrets and lies that you cannot bear be untold because in one way or another it hurts you or another person. It's better if you tell it to them before they find it out themselves. If you lied about yourself, don't think nobody would care. Because deep inside, we all want to be loved. Loved for who we really are. Not for the lies we created ourselves with.
Fourth, apologize and make amends. Like a popular song I once heard, a rip on the cloth will soon unravel, relationships must be mend as soon as possible at the right time and place. If there is awkwardness between, then start at the very beginning. Know that it is not the person at fault that must apologize. It is the one who cares and loves the other that should. Keep that in your heart.
Last, after all your efforts to clear your mind with regrets there are still regrets. If the fault is at yourself forgive yourself. If to another person and you've apologized yet still unforgiven after all your true efforts. Then move on.
There is no use if you think your purpose is to be apologized by the unforgiving. Find another purpose, look at another perspective and focus at other importances. You still breathe so use your breathe for doing good deeds and accomplishing your goals. Make yourself happy and keep yourself busy distracting the ideas of regrets. Then look at all those deeds and goals accomplished, you'll find out that you're truly better that what you and others think. Everyone would have to forget an issue or a moment in life one day, so why won't you? That would help you move on. (and don't contradict me with that forgetting because it's true, when people die they won't remember right? just kidding..I'm just trying to be sarcastic. Is it a total fail?)
Have more solutions? Do tell please.
Have other regrets that weren't solved? Do tell too.
Have that regret bother you so much? Tell me, I'll listen and help.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Wow, thank you, I didn't expect to have a response so fast. It's my first time here so it's nice to feel welcomed, thank you again for saying it's good. This is my first discussion that I was pretty tense that I think I made it very long. I hope it is helpful for everyone.
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Really? I never published in a website yet but I did worked for an article club in high school but unfortunately I only had just a year because they kept replacing people for the sake of giving them a chance since many students wanted to join that club. Maybe that deprivation is why I like making lengthy posts.
Yea, I just looked at it over again. Reading it just made me feel dizzy. I hope someone would read it. I just looked around and most of the discussions that have tons of replies are short so I feel a bit insecure with what I just did. Thanks again.
1 person likes this
@Positive2012 (53)
• Philippines
17 Jul 10
Gosh oxyde_gyabo, I wish I could be like you. There is not a week in my life that I don't think about some of the awful, stupid things I did. For some people, they would tell me I should not dwell on those things. And your article also tells me the right things to do. But for some reason, I am unable to do it. I cannot forgive myself. It ruins my weekends most of the time. It's as if subconsciously my being is looking for something to regret. I know it's absurd because it's ruining my life! But it ALWAYS happens. Even small things that happen, I regret. I don't know what to do. Anyway, just wanted to share and say thank you for your article. I liked it.
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
17 Jul 10
Thank you positive :D. I also had that experience that there is no time of my life that I didn't thought about my regrets. I suffered insomnia and emotional instability during that time. That's why I made these solutions so that I could help others because I know regretting is painful.
If you're still having troubles, don't mind telling me, I'm all open ears for everyone. I hope I have helped you in some way to relieve you from regrets. Thank you again ^_^
@limlobin (103)
• Philippines
17 Jul 10
I agree with your solutions. It is quite hard not to stumble upon regret when traversing life. Methinks that it is impossible to anyone not to have regret. Because as humans, we are not perfect, we make mistakes, and mistakes lead us to have regret to our actions.
Yet think of it more positively. Regrets are there so we could learn the pain of our wrong actions. As we learn we grew wiser. We must learn from our mistakes and forget not the regret it gave us (just remember, don't dwell on it), so we must strive to be a better person.
Nice topic here.
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
17 Jul 10
You're right, as humans, regrets are inevitable part of our lives. And regret also helps us grow for it makes us think twice before acting since we already know some mistakes that are painful to us and others. As long as we don't dwell on regretful moments, regret is a positive part of life. The solutions I made are for people who are affected greatly by regret that they are unable to move forward.
Thank you for the response. :D
@Educo11 (19)
• France
15 Jul 10
Great topic and wise words! I'd add one more piece of advice: know yourself - think about things you've done, retrospect and try to figure out why you behaved differently in various situations. This will help you increase self-awareness and understanding and hopefully lead to humility and forgiveness towards yourself and eventually others. I'd recommend a great book "Your Erroneous Zones" by Wayne W. Dyer.
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Thank you. I would try to remake this since it's too long and difficult to read. I need to simplify it so that readers won't get bored. I hope it's okay for mylot if I will someday make a better discussion of this.
I will definitely add your suggestions of course ^_^ It's true, we have to look at ourselves first and understand our behaviors to be more self-aware.
I'll try find that book, it sounds interesting.
thank you again.
@wannaberich (246)
•
15 Jul 10
Your words are really enlightening. Most people really don't feel contentment at all even though they have every thing. I sometimes think about how my life is still the same way as before complaining about not having improvements with regards to my way of life. But reading inspirational messages can really sometimes uplift my spirit up. Thinking positive really helps a lot and sometimes if that doesn't work, we'll just have to face reality.
@oxyde_gyabo (701)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Thank you. The thought that I inspire others also makes me feel very happy. I'm glad that there are people that gets refreshed after all the difficulties we have in life.
I agree that thinking positive helps a lot. It's also healthy and good for the soul.
And we should accept that not everything would go the way we want because that's reality, but we could still be happy even when we flow the opposite way of reality.
