Have you ever been offended by eye contact wile you spek or listen?
By harryds
@harryds (48)
India
July 18, 2010 8:42pm CST
In conversations listeners looks at the speaker in glances that lasts up to seven seconds. Anything more than seven seconds is usually uncomfortable and some even consider it as offensive. The total time used for making eye contact with the speaker is said to be about three quarters of the time used to speak. I have found myself uncomfortable when some people make too much eye contact. Have you felt any discomfort or been offended by the eye contact of other people?
1 person likes this
11 responses
@marguicha (215711)
• Chile
19 Jul 10
This is the first time I hear of this. I usually feel very uncomfortable when there´s NO eye contact.
1 person likes this
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
20 Jul 10
No, because I know that this behaviour is related to culture and possibly religious influence.
In general Western culture expects eye contact to be made by the speaker. Failure to do so used to be taken as a sign of not telling the truth. In some case the speaker is considered to be rude and/or arrogant.
Listeners should maintain eye contact because it shows attentiveness, and helps them to focus on what is being said.
@rosdimy (3926)
• Malaysia
21 Jul 10
In Islam men are not supposed to look at a female listener if she is not of his immediate family. He is upposed to lower his gaze.
It used to be my habit to look at the speaker for most of the time. With liberal attitudes my action has been taken to mean something else.
@harryds (48)
• India
21 Jul 10
What you said is true rosdimy, but here it is about prolonged eye contact, that is eye contacts that lasts more than usual. I think it is not just the matter of any particular culture but it is the matter of entire humankind that we maintain eye contact in any conversation.
@CarlHalling (3617)
• United Kingdom
19 Jul 10
Not that I can recall, but I am very wary of offending myself, as this does happen with me: I have noticed folks getting mad at me through my eye contact, which I find disturbing.
@Memnon (2170)
•
19 Jul 10
I have often been offended by the lack of eye contact. You look at someone and they immediately look away. Make me wonder what they have to hide.
@lunchz (43)
•
19 Jul 10
no, unless it was my crush whose looking at me like that... XD
anyway, as a speaker we should be ready for those kind of stare and prove them that you are not offended in any way of those kind of glances. you must not be troubled with that and look as proud as u can be so that u can finish what u have to say.
@ashton77 (292)
• India
24 Jul 10
There is a thin line that separates eye contact and staring. Eye contact usually happens a lot in a conversation and lasts for few seconds. Staring on the other hand lasts longer and creates a uncomfortable situation. Having said that other major factor that determine my comfortable or uncomfortable situation would depend upon the people I am having conservation with. With friends is okay but with strangers it would be uncomfortable.
@angelajoy (1825)
• Philippines
19 Jul 10
I don't feel uncomfortable when someone makes eye contact with me when I'm telling him or her something. I think it's just polite to make eye contact to show that you are listening and that you are interested in what a person is saying. But I will feel uncomfortable if someone who's not very close to me makes eye contact with me for too long.
@Bhadine (594)
• Philippines
19 Jul 10
i do have friends who are really looking at me whenever I am talking. I feel uncomfortable but I never find it offending. For me, this personality is better because it only shows that they are listening and interested in what I am saying than those who are not looking at all and seems like busy doing something else while I am talking to them.
@lilangelspreschool (1129)
• United States
19 Jul 10
With me, I have never been offended by eye contact. I feel like people get offended by me because I am very insecure so it is very hard for me to look people in the eye's when I am speaking to them. I try to work on it and I am not trying to be rude at all, I just get nervous and I end up looking away before I even realize it. I would hope people would realize that I am just nervous and not confident when I am speaking but some people do think it's rude.
=)
@harryds (48)
• India
21 Jul 10
Body language researchers says that people usually maintain eye contact for only one to seven seconds. After such short glances people look away and then again makes eye contact. I think there is no need for you to become nervous. It is good to have conversations with some good friends, because they knows you and won't get offended. Consider it as a learning process and you are not the only person who undergoes this process. I too learned it the hard way :)
@Laurelle11 (409)
• Australia
19 Jul 10
I was taught that it is rude not to make eye contact when speaking with someone as it could mean that they are lying or have something to hide. So no it doesn't offend me if someone looks me in the eye while talking and I am more inclined to believe what they say if they do.
@harryds (48)
• India
21 Jul 10
People usually hesitate to make eye contact when lying. Eye contact is necessary while you communicate, they are the powerful transmitters of vital social signals which cannot be avoided in social interaction. But here I am talking about prolonged eye contact.
@Muteki (114)
• Japan
19 Jul 10
I've always come to the conclusion that prolonged eye contact is usually one of two cases.
1. The listener is doubting what you say, and they looking for any sign of facial guesture which can satisfy their curiosity.
2. The lister is emotionally effected in what you have to say, whether it be angey, shocked, moved etc..
3. Certain individuals just have this habit.
