Is it gay?
By hucker21
@hucker21 (67)
Philippines
July 19, 2010 1:20pm CST
The normal situation is the husband work and the wife nurse their child/children. what if it happen the other way around for some reason. Like the husband lose his business and prepare not to apply for a job since the wife earn more than he can earn no mater how hard he try limited by the ability? is it gay?
3 people like this
10 responses
@semicolonp (518)
• Philippines
19 Jul 10
No. I'm sure there are some who will think so because they're relying on the stereotypical portrayals of how a husband should function within the household (breadwinner) and how a wife should function within a household (caretaker). But women's suffrage has slowly but steadily been changing this stereotype and... well, it just seems pretty misogynistic to me to think that a househusband and a working!wife somehow equates to being gay.
And gay here sounds like an insult somehow. Which just heightens the feel of misogyny. I really hope you meant some other word and just fell back on that for... uh, reasons too varied for me to comprehend. =|
@semicolonp (518)
• Philippines
19 Jul 10
Yeah, no. The expression you're talking about comes from the insinuation that men who don't measure up to the norm (and doing something that normally a woman do) is unusual and less than they are; therefore: gay. It's become an expression, true, but that's because we live in a patriarchal society where it's a-okay to insult people like that and have it become the norm.
I guess it could be funny, what with you being the example you're talking about, but. Yeah. That's not really "just an expression", especially since you said yourself that "white guys" say it.
Welp, would REALLY leave now. Sorry about this word diarrhea.
@owlwings (43915)
• Cambridge, England
19 Jul 10
@ hucker21: Yes it IS an insult, whether it's 'just an expression' or not. Perhaps the people who use it don't mean to be insulting but it's just as much so as the 'N' word. People who use the words 'gay' and 'n1gger' to set others apart are being insulting (and ignorant and bigoted).
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
20 Jul 10
Hi Hucker,
Welcome to Mylot. No it is not "gay" for the man to take care of the kids while his wife works. He lost his job and that is what families do...they pull together and work as a team. If it makes more sense for the wife to work then the wife should work. If the dad can't find work then if he is watching the kids at least he is contributing to the well-being of his family and there is nothing wrong in that.
@julyteen (13252)
• Davao, Philippines
20 Jul 10
It is common or popular nowadays, husband left in the house and the wife working. It will not change the status or the gender of the man. In my own opinion it's a case to case basis, I don't want also my wife working and I am left in the house to take care our children. As far as I can I will try my best to find a decent job to sustain my family.
@stilldirect (91)
• Philippines
20 Jul 10
The normal situation that we think before that a husband is the provider of the family and the wife stays at home taking care of the children, is no longer applicable in today's generation. It's both parents are working or the other way around, the wife providing for the family and the husband with the children. But this does not mean that the husband is gay, if he choose to be a stay at home father. As head of the family, he is doing his responsibility to balance the family situation. The wife is the lucky provider but definitely less time for the children. Since you husband loose his job, he is their for the children.
@sleepylittlerose (1648)
• United States
19 Jul 10
No, this is becoming the norm now a days. Many women who have secure high paying jobs will allow thier husbands to be stay at home dads in the event that they are laid off or that the child care cost warrents one of them being at home. I know that if I had to choose weather my husband stayed home or I did, it would have to be my husband. I make more money per hour and we could live off of my salery.
Often men find this very demoralizing and quickly want to return to the work force. They see that it is ok for a woman to do the cooking and cleaning but many men do not wish to have such task. There is absolutely nothing wrong with them doing these things it is just a matter of them feeling a certain way.
@kyle2krystel (2489)
• Japan
19 Jul 10
I don't think it's gay. being a responsible father, taking over what wife supposed to do on daily basis is not gay at all, it would look kind of awkward that father is washing babies clothes, preparing food, cleaning the house and doing laundry but we as woman mostly admire guys like this. I will give my neighbor as an example, the guy is home taking care of their 5 kids and the wife is working, I always saw this guy doing lot of work for his children and I think it's really nice.
@kolsti87 (521)
• United States
19 Jul 10
No it is most certainly not gay. If you do what you can to be the best father possible than you are not gay because of it. In my house, both of my parents had full time jobs as attorneys but my mother made more money. And that didn't make my dad less of a man.
