I've Made A Mylot Decision

@CatsandDogs (13964)
United States
July 24, 2010 2:03pm CST
I contemplated leaving mylot because of some things that have been said to me in my discussions and pm. Those of you who have asked me to stay however, have triumphed over those who can not seem to handle my openness about my situation. Those who can't will be deleted from my friends list so they won't have to deal with my being overly emotional or the fact that I come here to vent, to find support, but mostly to be among the friends that help me deal with a very difficult situation. I highly value those friends that continue to listen to me, and to allow me to get things off my chest and offer me advice and support. Those of you that find it all tiresome and resort to 'kicking me when I'm down' I will not tolerate. I am a human being in pain and need to release the pain to those who give enough of a damn to listen.
15 people like this
50 responses
• United States
24 Jul 10
That stinks that your myLot experience wasn't as good as you thought it would be. I haven't had any problems yet and I hope I never encounter them. But, I think you'll encounter stuff like that anywhere. There's always going to be mean people. And there's always going to be nice people. You do what you have to do to make this experience the best for you.
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
24 Jul 10
You're right about that Stephanie, there are nice people and mean people everywhere we go. The thing is, I'm in the middle of a situation with my family with no end in sight that I need to go somewhere and vent and I chose to come here however, it's been an on going thing for the past two and a half years that I need to vent some of my frustrations and in doing so on here has made some uncomfortable. My opinion is this, it's the truth. What I've told is the truth and if one can't handle the truth then they know where the notify button is so push it! Or delete me off of their friends list and be done with it. I'm already down in the dumps so why kick me further down? I don't get it. I thought we're suppose to vent and get it off of our chests and NOT hold it in?! What the hell?! Some people I just don't get.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Jul 10
Understandable. I guess maybe some people have problems of their own and don't want any more burden. Except, what I don't understand is if they really do feel like that, why bother responding at all? I mean, just don't read the discussion or reply. It's that easy Why bring someone down just because you don't want to hear it? I hope things do get better for you--2 and a half years is a long time. I'll definitely be willing to listen to you, unlike some people.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
25 Jul 10
I agree. If someone doesn't want to read something, why DO they do it ANYWAY and then complain? It's not like anybody is dragged here by their hair and held at gunpoint and forced to read and respond to things they don't like for heaven's sake lol.
1 person likes this
@quita88 (3716)
• United States
25 Jul 10
Cats! I have to update my last discussion and deeply apologize to you. I love you and want you to stay.......... Do forgive an old lady...... quita
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
25 Jul 10
quita, I'm not sure what to say. I do accept your apology.... ahhhhh! What do I say?! lol It's all good and lets go from there, what do you say? I'm going to ask back your friendship and we'll go from there. Is that ok?
1 person likes this
@quita88 (3716)
• United States
25 Jul 10
Sure ! I already approved you as a friend. hugs,quita
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (61041)
• United States
24 Jul 10
I, for one, am VERY glad you are staying. I realize that you are having lots of problems with your family. They didn't treat you really well growing up and now you have stepped up to the plate when your slacker brothers can't be bothered. I can only hope that you can continue to find support here, and do delete those other people, NOBODY needs negative people around, and if they don't like it, they should've turned off your notifications or delete you rather than attacking you. JERKS
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
27 Jul 10
Awwww thank you both VERY much!! I really do appreciate that!! I'll be sticking around a little while longer.... lol I did delete them from my friends list. I couldn't believe what I was reading when I got such comments! It hurt some kind of deep to be kicked yet AGAIN. Well, things didn't go well today either. Dad took mom to her eye appointment and mom had some chest pains and took some nitro from dad, the first one didn't help but the second one did and she told the nurse at the eye clinic and they tried to get her to let them call a rescue squad but she wouldn't hear anything of it. Plus on the way down, they got lost because mom had unplugged the GPS thing and plugged in her cell phone and sh!t hit the fan with them two.... there's more, but you get the drift. I've had an anxiety attack since about 6 o'clock and xanax helped some but not enough but now I'm tired and HOPE to get some sleep tonight now that it's 2am but I need to shower first to get some of this sweat off of me....
1 person likes this
@mentalward (14695)
• United States
24 Jul 10
I'm so glad you've decided to stay, Cats. You've made the right decision, deleting those who have only upset you even more. MyLot is a wonderful place to come when you need sympathy, support, encouragement or just to vent frustrations. No one should try to stop that. Maybe they don't realize that they, too, might just need to vent or reach out for support one of these days. Your friends understand that you're going through an ongoing thing with your parents and that you're caught between them and your husband. I can understand completely because I'm caught between my husband and my sons. Luckily, I've forced my husband to understand that, if he forces me to choose between them, my sons come first... always. You just continue to vent and rant away. If it helps you even a tiny bit, then it's worth it. Besides, it helps you know who your real friends are.
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
26 Jul 10
Hi Marti, the way I see it is this, there's a difference between a husband and kids than a husband and mother. Kids are born into the situation regardless if it's good or bad so they need an adult be it their mother or their father to defend them. When kids have grown up and the mother or father is married to another man, the kids come first still UNLESS there's something really important that the attention should be with the husband. A husband acting like a jackass as yours has towards your kids is SO wrong! Your kids should be able to come to you WHEN EVER they want/need to especially when they're needing to talk to you. However, you and your husband do need some alone time which I'm sure you get a lot of since your kids have moved out on their own but still, if one of your kids calls you up and says I need to talk to you or I want to talk to you, you shouldn't feel like you're being torn in two. That's not fair to you at all. Now in my situation, I love my husband dearly. I love my mother dearly. HOWEVER, both are in the wrong. My husband is wrong in one way and my mother is wrong in another and I'm caught where? In the MIDDLE! I know stuff that my husband doesn't know and I know stuff that my mother doesn't know and that has to stop and it's going to stop. I'm going to have that 'talk' with both of my parents when the time is right. She harps on how she was put in the middle with my dad and her mother time after time after time and now look at what she's done to me.... which is something she vowed to never do to me or my brothers. Anyway, now that she found a puppy chihuahua and gets it next weekend, she's all excited about it so even though she's still grieving over the loss of Sugar Plum, she's excited about the new comer so once she gets her and has her for a few weeks, that's when I'm going to tell her and I will not take no for an answer and tell her that WE ALL need to talk and make it happen somehow. I'll be a nervous wreck but I know it has to be done. I can't take this anymore. I just can't. My nerves are beyond shot that all I do is live on xanax and sleep all the time or cry. ENOUGH already! I have to do something or someone will get hurt before too long. About this issue at hand, I was told that I was embarrassing this person by what I wrote about my family and how would my family feel if they knew and that they didn't want to read what I wrote but once they got started they couldn't stop bla bla bla and another was how much can a person help me with an on going thing and another said my discussions were basically the same thing over and over. Number one, if they didn't like what I said, which is the damned truth then DON'T read it! It's as simple as that! Secondly, if they have that sort of comment to give then DON'T give one! and Thirdly, my discussions aren't the same! The situations are different however, same family.... duh! Can't change that! I felt so knocked down but these three that I contemplated leaving because it hurt and hurt bad. When I needed my friends the most, three let me down and that hurt.
1 person likes this
@ehsanji (503)
• Pakistan
24 Jul 10
Cute Cat! We love you and we all want you to stay. Just because some people disagree with what you say doesn't mean you have to leave us all here alone! YOUR DECISION IS GOING TO GET CHANGED! AND YOU ARE GOING TO STAY WITH US! YES!
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
25 Jul 10
OK! I'll stay!! lol I've got too many caring friends to leave so I'm staying!
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48712)
• United Kingdom
24 Jul 10
Hi Sweetie good on you Some People just do not have the heart and there is nothing we can do about I was not aware that you where thinking of leaving but I am glad that you have decided to stay
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
25 Jul 10
Hi Gabs! Hi Gissi! Hi Oreo! LOL It was about my ranting about my family. It apparently embarrasses some to read about what I've said but it's the truth so, if one can't handle the truth then they need to move on which is what they've done as of thus far. I mean, delete me if they don't like what I have to say! Or pass over my discussion and move on to the next! Is that so hard to do? Hopefully I won't have any more problems from here on out.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (41350)
• Holiday, Florida
25 Jul 10
thank you dear. i do the same thing. come here for support from my friends. and you are right. they have no business kicking you while down. i agree and think they should not even bother to respond to a discussion if they have nothing good to say. just move on. as mother used to say, if you have nothing good to say, dont say anything at all. right?
2 people like this
@MagicGuy (157)
• United States
25 Jul 10
Don't say anything??? Example; Should she say she was just raped, it's a bad thing to say about someone. Really, let's say things that aren't wives tales.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (41350)
• Holiday, Florida
26 Jul 10
i meant that in a good way. they shouldnt come to her discussions just to say bad things to her. why are you starting mean with me? i never said if its something like rape dont say it...whats your point? You are taking my response all out of context. hopefully most people know what i meant. but if its that hard for you to understand, i meant good toward Cats and dogs...i meant i understand and feel as she does. i just put in something my mom used to say concerning talking MEAN to people, as you just did to me. has nothing to do with saying things about being raped. OF COURSE anyone says if you are raped. thats a whole other discussion. i hope your not on my friends list cause im going to go see now. thats really uncalled for your smart reply to me. another case of not saying anything which you shouldnt.
1 person likes this
• Canada
27 Jul 10
Guy..."Example; Should she say she was just raped, it's a bad thing to say about someone. Really, let's say things that aren't wives tales. " Explain this please.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
24 Jul 10
I too have noticed that when I rant, someone has to attack me..One person I deleted from my friends they got so irritating. That is the one problem I have with mylot, you can't block someone from replying to your own posts. Then again if you could I can see it now, they would just start their own rant about your rant.. Anyways, I am glad you are staying, and sorry about what I would call "trolls" except when I did that on Facebook I got made fun of by these people when they added a troll doll as their profile pic..Some people can be so childish..
• United States
25 Jul 10
Agreed. I bet a blocking button would do the trick to get rid of those pesky myLotters! At the most, we can report them. I don't understand why people must butt heads on purpose!
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jul 10
Oh, I didn't think of that, blocking them will also effect their earnings..I wonder if we ask if the admin will consider it? After all this place is getting big enough, do we really need the negative people to earn also?
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
26 Jul 10
You need to let us, your friends, know when you're being attacked! Damn it carmelanirel! How dare anyone do that to you! You've been nothing but kind and considerate of others..... unless there's something that I don't know about J/K But seriously though, we stand up for our friends and will for you too, you just have to let us know, ok? Don't change yourself to suit others. Hell no! Be yourself, that way you're happy and we know who you REALLY are. Hugs!
2 people like this
• United States
24 Jul 10
I am one who know sexactly how you feel. I have cut down on my theraoy sessions because I can come her eto mylot. Your doing what is right for you. I enjoy seeing you around mylot. Don't let people make you feel worse. You can rest knowing you have great friends here. Those who don't like your posts can kick rocks.
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jul 10
@giftsandbagscom: You typed 'sexactly,' instead of 'exactly.' It made me laugh. Agreed. Those who don't like your posts aren't worth your time. People like that are just downright strange.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
27 Jul 10
Thank you giftsandbagscom. I hope things have gotten better for you too. We're both living a life truly from hell, aren't we? Sometimes I wonder what the hell am I here for? To be tormented? I so want peace not this drama that my parents like to create, especially my mother. Yeah! I agree! They can go kick rocks!! I love it!! lol StephanieAnnC, I had a chuckle over the typo too but I knew what she was trying to say. She hit the enter button before she was finished typing 'knows' and that's how it came to be. Gotta love them typos, don't we? lol
@ANTIQUELADY (36471)
• United States
24 Jul 10
hEY CAT, GOOD TO HEAR FROM U. sORRY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN UGLY TO U. u DON'T DESERVE THAT. u KNOW SOME FOLKS DON'T KNOW WHAT A PROBLEM IS OR THEY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH EMPATHY to realize other people have more than their share.U hang in there girlfriend & just delete all the buzzards, lol.
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
26 Jul 10
[b]Hi Jo, I had most of the 15 years of peace when hubby was in the Army because I was away from family and now that I'm back, the drama is back. Hubby and I moved to NC to be close but not too close to both of our families in case they needed us. We knew my parents wanted to move but didn't think they'd move this close to us but now that mom had a stroke a little over two years ago, we're glad they did move this close and sometimes I wish they were closer so I could get to them quicker when in need but there again, I'm glad they're 30 minutes away. It's a wishy washy situation and it's no wonder. If only my mom would make it easier and she could if she tried but she doesn't want to. Now if things were going HER way all the time then she'd be on cloud nine but since it doesn't, she makes others lives hell. You know I love my husband dearly. I love my mother dearly. HOWEVER, both are in the wrong. My husband is wrong in one way and my mother is wrong in another and I'm caught where? In the MIDDLE! I know stuff that my husband doesn't know and I know stuff that my mother doesn't know and that has to stop and it's going to stop. I'm going to have that 'talk' with both of my parents when the time is right. She harps on how she was put in the middle with my dad and her mother time after time after time and now look at what she's done to me.... which is something she vowed to never do to me or my brothers. Anyway, now that she found a puppy Chihuahua and gets it next weekend, she's all excited about it so even though she's still grieving over the loss of Sugar Plum, she's excited about the new comer so once she gets her and has her for a few weeks, that's when I'm going to tell her and I will not take no for an answer and tell her that WE ALL need to talk and make it happen somehow. I'll be a nervous wreck but I know it has to be done. I can't take this anymore. I just can't. My nerves are beyond shot that all I do is live on xanax and sleep all the time or cry. ENOUGH already! I have to do something or someone will get hurt before too long. About the others, I did delete them. If I have friends like that, who needs enemies? Some friends they are/were.... [/b]
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36471)
• United States
26 Jul 10
I think that talk is waaaaaaaaaaay overdue, Cat. I know u love your mother but do think she manipulates u. I just don't want her to cause u & hubby anymore trouble than she already has. My mother was a trouble maker & kept some of the family stirred up all the time. I hated that side of her. She would turn on u in a minute if things weren't going her way. She caused alot of grief in her lifetime. U can not go on having to put up w/her stuff!!
2 people like this
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
24 Jul 10
Oh, I don't know that there are people who want to kick you out of here, Cats... Rest assured I'm not one of those people. You have every right to stay and express your deepest thought the way you wanted. Though, the saying might be correct that you can't please everybody but at least you have an option whether to be continuously be their friends or just ignore these people for good.I think, they aren't the majority here. as this discussion progressed, I can see that majority wants you to stay.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
26 Jul 10
No, no one wanted to kick me off of here but it was about my discussions about my family. Some don't like it and some don't know what to say to help and it just progressed from there. It's all good now, I think and hope! lol Thanks for showing you care!
• Philippines
26 Jul 10
Ok, I get it now.You are always welcome, dear.:-) Everyone needs someone to talk to and someone willing to lend an ear. This is the core of Mylot, I guess.:-)
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164266)
• Garden Grove, California
24 Jul 10
thanks Cats, glad you decided to stay, you have the same rights to vent here as any other mylotter, and you will continue to find some mylotter friends who will support you and enjoy your discussions too. I have been helped so many times myself by mylot friends who just listened, let me rant and offered good advice.We are all human beings and should care about each other and offer help and advice.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
24 Jul 10
That's what I thought mylot was about too Hatley but apparently my discussions have become too embarrassing or old. Too damned bad because it's REAL. It's not a joke or some fake crap. It's real and it's MY life which I hate SO much but that's my situation however I DID NOT choose it. In any case, we're suppose to be there for each other and hold each other up, not knock each other down especially when one is already down. That's exactly how I feel I've been done and I've had enough of being kicked down again and again. I'm NOT sorry for those who can't handle the truth. That's their problem, not mine. Now I want to tell you from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU for being such a supportive, wonderful and caring friend!!
2 people like this
@Hatley (164266)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Jul 10
hi cats no thanks needed but you are most welcome. and i am so glad you decided to stay. welcome home.
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
29 Jul 10
I can see where some people may be upset at this Cats, but truth be known, it's your right to make whatever decisions necessary to improve the quality of your experience here. Mylot can be great therapy and many users here, are here for that very thing. Kicking people when they are down is just wrong. So you go girl! You take control of your time here. You've certainly earned that power! NOTE TO MYLOT ADMIN: The above was MY original response, not AnnieOakley's, even though you sent it to her and not me for reposting after you deleted it.
2 people like this
• Canada
29 Jul 10
I've never seen that notification before. They actually told you to feel free to repost it, as it was not against any guidelines. I guess they have improved the notification system somewhat then, which is good.
1 person likes this
@grkelly (1216)
• Malta
24 Jul 10
I believe that anyone who does not wish to listen or to support someone else is a person who is heartless and insensitive. Every one has a problem, some big, some smaller, but it is something we all have to face. No man is an island and that's what friends are for... two very common sayings which show that eacha dn everyone should give a helping hand, some moral support, at least be there to listen. So do not leave my lot...just choose best friends and enjoy their sympathy, help, advice...good luck.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
27 Jul 10
You are SO right grkelly! Friends are suppose to be there for each other not put the other down especially when they're already down as I am. Some day the same treatment will bite them in the rear and then they'll realize how their words hurt. I couldn't do that to anybody especially when they're in pain. I just couldn't. I've had to defend others and deal with the ridicule but I won't stand by and watch someone hurt another person and not say something. Thank you for showing you care! We need more of you in our world!
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
24 Jul 10
My thoughts are that if we don't want to deal with it, we don't have to open your discussions. There is no reason or excuse for being downright mean. I am glad that you decided to stay. I am not on here too much, as my son is not in school for the summer and keeps me quite busy. I hope things are going fairly good for you. You have been down quite a road.
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
27 Jul 10
Thank you Thoroughrob. I didn't want to leave but when people who I consider my friends tell me crap like they did, it hurt and it hurt big time. I felt so kicked again and again. One said she was embarrassed to read it but got so caught up in reading it and wish she hadn't and wondered how my parents and brothers would feel if they knew..... like damn! What about ME? What about the hell I'm being put through?! Don't I count for something? Doesn't my husband count for something? I was quite shocked and very hurt to say the least. But I'm past it now. To each his own way, I guess.
@gemini_rose (16192)
24 Jul 10
Hiya CatsandDogs, I do not come on here as much anymore due to a number of things but I do like to try and catch up every so often. I am shocked to see that you have had trouble on here that is really sad to hear and I am sorry to hear how much it has upset you. But you do have lots of support on here and lots of friends and those are the important people not anyone else. So I am glad to see that you are going to stay! xxxx
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
25 Jul 10
It was about my ranting about my family. It apparently embarrasses some to read about what I've said but it's the truth so, if one can't handle the truth then they need to move on which is what they've done as of thus far. I mean, delete me if they don't like what I have to say! Or pass over my discussion and move on to the next! Is that so hard to do? Hopefully I won't have any more problems from here on out. BTW, thanks!!
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
24 Jul 10
Like Hatley was said It is good that you are here for stay. Do not worry about friends I am always ready to help someone and yes I too have solve some of my problems with myLot. People here are very honestly and friendly they always will help you. If you need sometimes help I be happy to help to you too. If you want you can cry to my shoulder. Take care, Have a nice day!
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
25 Jul 10
Thank you so much for that! Who knows, I just may take you up on that! lol You are right, there are so many wonderful people on here and a lot of them asked me to stay so I'm going to stay.... as long as I'm wanted! lol Just kidding, no I'm here to stay for a good while longer.
• India
27 Jul 10
avoid posting personnel comment which is not required ,in one of friend had attacked personnly and given negative remark about me ,he should have given comment on post not on me ,that will result bitterness
2 people like this
• Canada
26 Jul 10
The very definition of "Friend", to me, is to be there to listen when someone needs support, reassurance or even just to listen while someone 'vents'. We need each other to hash out our problems and help to decide what course of action to take, or not. Sometimes it is just enough that someone cares enough to listen, too. That makes a huge difference to me. If something upsets me, I HAVE TO talk about it. It is part of the process to get over it and get on with other things. If I don't, it clouds everything I do, until I sort it out. I'm soooo happy you decided to stay, Cats. Mylot would not be the place it is without you. Don't let other's negativity sway you again, ok? You had me scared for a minute there that we would lose you. *slaps hands* I bloody well give a damn, and am here to listen whenever you need me to be. HUGS
2 people like this
• United States
25 Jul 10
I'm glad you decided to stay on MyLot. Those people that like to hate aren't even worth it. ^_____^ People are stupid anyway. lol (just kidding around)
2 people like this