What do you do when your parents fight?
@mihama_poohbear (449)
Philippines
July 25, 2010 6:00am CST
Do your parents fight?
What do you do when that happens?
Usually, I just retreat to my room or somewhere else until they solve the matter by themselves. However, when my parents had a fight yesterday, it was weird because my elder sister joined in their shouting spree. It was really weird. Three people were already shouting in the house.
I confronted my sister about it that night but she was still in a bad mood and became angry at me and said some hurtful words. Sad.
I think I should really always just keep my mouth shut. Leave it to the "old" people.
1 person likes this
10 responses
@pirate451 (152)
• India
27 Jul 10
Yeah, sometime I used to go between my mom and dad and say please don't fight.From eyes tear will be drop out and I feel very upset while my mom and dad were in fought and looking by other it's seem very bad is not good.I used do separated them if I can, if I can't than i used to call my house neighbor and tell them please can you help me to separated my parent were in fought.I always give advise to my parent by saying don't fight,is not looking good to other eyes and if you two do like that hope i will also get same husband like you all.
1 person likes this
@mihama_poohbear (449)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
Yes, it's really sad. Although unlike you I never had the guts to go between them. I always leave them alone. I really do hope they grow out of this stage soon.
@deve_annrn (1856)
• Philippines
31 Jul 10
when my parents fight, i don't interfere with them...i get annoyed everytime they fight in front of my younger siblings because i'm protective of them...i don't want them to witness negative occurrence between our parents...but things have worsen lately and it has been a natural scene to see our parents at war at home minus the violence though... and i'm sad about it... i cried at night because of this...and i hate them for not trying to mend things for us...their children...but i love them regardless...just the nonstop war makes me forget that i love them...=(..i don't wanna get married and experience the same...
@mihama_poohbear (449)
• Philippines
31 Jul 10
True, it's really annoying. However, I don't think you should make that as a reason not to get married. At least with that, you know know what not to do so that you and your future husband won't get into a fight that would be hard to mend.
@deve_annrn (1856)
• Philippines
31 Jul 10
yeah...i've learned to overcome those doubts and fear i felt towards marriage... i asked for advices and counseling too... i even told my present boyfriend with my family's situation for him to be aware and avoid committing mistakes that my father had... i told him how i felt about it and i'm happy to know that he's not like my father and i'm praying that we won't end up that way... i know married life is not easy but fighting about money over and over again is not healthy...thank you and i hope you and your husband will be able to work things out...God Bless You...=)
@mihama_poohbear (449)
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
Wow, it's cool that you were able to talk about the situation with your boyfriend. Since you've talked about it then I guess you won't have much problems with that in the future. As they say, what gets talked about gets done. So I'm pretty sure things will turn out fine for your. God bless you too!
@saizo6 (2199)
• United States
31 Jul 10
I can count on one hand the amount of times my parents have gotten into a serious fight where a lot of shouting and crying is involved. They do have disagreements and stuff but that's usually taken care of quickly. But the few times I've heard the serious fight it really disturbed me on a great level since things like that were so rare. I honestly didn't know what to do and I know better then joining in the shouting match, that would just make things worst. So, I either keep quiet and let them deal with things on their own or go to my room, put on some headphones, turn on some music and drown out everything else. But I'm grateful that this is not a common occurence or I wouldn't be able to deal with it.
@saizo6 (2199)
• United States
1 Aug 10
I would hate to be in your situation. It must be really tough for you sometimes. Hopefully your parents will be able to work things about and come up with a different way to settle their disagreements. All that fighting can't be healthy for the relationship.
@mihama_poohbear (449)
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
Actually, they settle disagreements pretty quickly. But then when they fight again it's another reason again. I just hope they'd mature enough to be able to settle disagreements without having to fight.
@mihama_poohbear (449)
• Philippines
31 Jul 10
Wow, that's really good for you. At least you wouldn't have to deal with it much.
Fighting between parents has become a common occurrence here in our house that it actually surprised me when in college, I came across a friend who said that she never heard her parents fight ever in her life. I thought it was weird but I realized it was indeed possible if both parties handle conflicts maturely. I really am praying for the day when my parents would grow out of that stage and just stop fighting.
@mihama_poohbear (449)
• Philippines
26 Aug 10
True. But sometimes it can't be helped that the children get themselves involved especially if they are affected and can hear all the shouting.
@inviteme (67)
• Philippines
25 Jul 10
I can say my parents were done with that stage. But when I was a kid, they keep on fighting almost everyday and keep on arguing in many things. They can't settle their differences in a nice talk. They keep on shouting and sometimes hurting each other.
I was young during that time ( I guess I was 6 years old), I don't know what to do, I just stay where I am and listening to their words of litany to each other.
@inviteme (67)
• Philippines
28 Jul 10
Maybe fighting is spice of their marriage life... but it was so spicy :-). Let just pray they will overcome that stage soon and act as a civil and mature person.
@mihama_poohbear (449)
• Philippines
31 Jul 10
Yeah, that's really on top of my prayer list. I really hope my prayers would get heard soon. Thanks by the way for your response.
@mihama_poohbear (449)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
Good for you. But it seems to me that my parents never seemed to grow out of that stage. Sometimes I make it a game to count the days since their last fight and usually it's less than a week. This means that they get to a fight almost every week. It's weird how they are almost married and living together for 25 years. Maybe the fighting keeps them together? But still, it's irritating and annoying to hear adults fight like stubborn children.
@wonderwall95 (26)
• Portugal
26 Jul 10
I just go to my room and pretend nothing is happening.
I never get involved in the fight because I don't want to be tempted to take sides and of course I don't want to make it worse so I just decide to keep away from the fight and keep my mouth shut.
@mihama_poohbear (449)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
True. I also do that. But sometimes it's really annoying to hear them that I am tempted to butt in. But so far, I have been so great at controlling myself that I haven't ever done that even if I wanted to.
@advokatku (4033)
• Indonesia
25 Jul 10
see the parents are fighting is not an exciting spectacle. It's a spectacle that irritating and just hurt. As a child, I can do, just go away and leave them alone
@mihama_poohbear (449)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
It was never exciting. It's frustrating and downright irritating to hear adults quarrel stubbornly like children. I feel like leaving home whenever that happens.
@antilove (191)
• Vietnam
26 Jul 10
When I was a child, I used to see my parents fighting or quarreling. I didn't know what to do or say, just sat there and felt scared. Why parents never care about their children's feelings when they treat each other badly. Whenever seeing such kind of scenes, I can't keep myself from dropping a tear.
@mihama_poohbear (449)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
Yeah. Parents like that are just so darn inconsiderate of their children. They are just too selfish to understand that their kids are affected much. I just wish to the heavens that they'd have a real turning point and grow up for the better.
@shiquitatw (442)
• Jamaica
25 Jul 10
Whenever you see your parents or people that you love fighting it is not a easy thing to deal with. Sometimes a parent we forget that everything we do plays a part in our teens life. When things calm down it might be a good idea to your your parents a letter and let them know that this is effecting you. Hopefully this will be a red flag for them to learn to talk things out instead of fighting. Just know that whatever they are fighting about it is not your fault and has nothing to do with you :~)
@mihama_poohbear (449)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
I've tried to do something similar but it was not intended. I kept a journal and my mom accidentally read it. In it, I wrote all my frustrations at how dysfunctional they become when they fight. I also wrote there the things that I hope would be changed. But so far, there has been no changes at all.
@mihama_poohbear (449)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
When I was a kid and my parents are in a fight they even made me take a side. So stupid, really. I really hate fighting. I'm pro-peace. And I hate confrontations.
