How do you handle failure?

United States
July 26, 2010 11:27am CST
We never want to face failure in life. But we face failure at some point of our life. This is a part of life, we all know. Still we refuse to face it, and when it happens it brings lots of stress to our life. Personally I don't handle any kind of stress very well, no matter it is personal life or professional life. I need to work on it. How do you handle it? Does it make difference for you if it is personal life or professional life?
4 people like this
28 responses
• Jamaica
26 Jul 10
I think that there is no such thing as failure. How you respond to your challenges can impact your ultimate results. Failure is not about having no success to boast of. Failure is staying down when you trip or stumble. It happens when you give up, shut down or check out. It is when you allow yourself to be called a failure, whether by yourself or others.Becoming successful requires perseverance and consistency. It's not something you work on for an hour a day, and leave off the rest of the time. One of the best allies you can develop on your journey of self-improvement is an attitude of success. This attitude will govern your responses to the events, good and bad, that come your way every day. I also think that what people call failure is really just experience.
• United States
26 Jul 10
I agree that you need a positive attitude to be successful. May be the definition of failure is different person to person, but it comes in our way of life at some point of time. The matter is how well do you handle it.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
26 Jul 10
I come to expect it now, because I am I have to admit very negative and pessimistic person, I believe that failure is part of me, so it doesn't bother me in all honesty, but I put that down to my depression and SAD. I just don't try, I don't feel worthy as a person and accept failure as part of my life too. My glass will always be half empty. I know my boundaries and my capabilities and my standards are low so I won't get disappointed. I expect failure, I expect bad things to happen and when something good happens, I get anxious because I am waiting for my next failure. Failure for me is my comfort zone. Maybe in my next life things will be different but this one, I have to keep going, I live day to day it's easier that way.
• United States
26 Jul 10
Thanks so much for sharing your feelings. I totally understand what you are talking about. I feel that way sometime. But I try to stay positive and I try hard to do that. Its a great thing that you can accept your failure, we need a lot of courage for that. But still we should be positive in our life. If we don't try with a positive attitude it is more likely that we will not get a good result. Wish you all the best in life!
@narayan2006 (2954)
• India
26 Jul 10
Failure or success is the end result of one's effort. Its probability of occurrence is influenced by several factors on which the performer has very little control. In fact,I am very little concerned and affected by the final result. I am only concerned with the motive,purpose,and the process linked to performing a job. If my motive and purpose of doing it is directed to benefit me and others around, and it serves to support a noble cause, I do not feel distressed even if I fail. Success achieved to serve only the individual self at the cost of greater part of the society or humanity is a great failure,as I believe. For me, the process of reaching a goal is more important than the goal itself.It hardly makes any difference in personal or professional life. Besides,failure gives the opportunity to learn and recognize one's own strengths and limitations,in greater details. Positive way of handling failure leads to strengthening one's capacity to achieve excellence in future. Thanks.
• India
25 Aug 10
Thanks for awarding me the best response. Have a nice day!!
• United States
26 Jul 10
Well said narayan! I think your are right, failure teaches us to get strength and approach our goal more strongly. It is also true that we can learn a lot from failure.
25 Oct 10
I see the success that I have made and that shines through, everyone fails and nobody is perfect. We all do something that makes us different, we all achieve different things and we have goals we set. I've succeeded by getting married, being a good father and having two children for the right reasons. The list continues but I don't want to sound like I have an alter ego or anything. I'm just proud of what I have achieved.
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
27 Jul 10
Face it head on. There is nothing more fearful than heading backwards when facing an impending failure. It is only when we have conquered the fear of facing failure do we realise that the failure is just another bus passing by ignoring your presence. Yes, we missed the bus. We may miss this bus, the next bus but not all the buses. Face it and we will ultimately catch the bus. Failure is the mother of success! Cheers :)
• China
27 Jul 10
Honestly speaking,your figure of speech is very vivid and persuasive.
@Suke002 (311)
• United States
26 Jul 10
First off, I make it clear to me that my failure is real and I can't change it so I might as well get through it. I deal with the stress however I can, I cry, I talk about it and I let it go. Then I go move on and try something else that will make up for that failure and usually it really helps.
• United States
26 Jul 10
I think thats really a good way to face failure. We need to move on, life does not stop no matter what happens. Personally I think there is nothing wrong to cry a little if that makes you feel somewhat better. I also like to share my thoughts with my close family or friends to feel better.
• China
27 Jul 10
For me,if I can change the situation,I will take my whole efforts to reverse the situation,in a patient and persistent way to convert failure to success.But if I can't change the reverse unfortunately,then I will accept happily and peafully,because I have done my best,although nothing has changed,I don't feel regretful in my heart.
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
failures are inevitable and you just deal the best you can every time. i don't like dwelling on my wrong decisions, when i've resolved to do better and be more rational for the future already, i move on. beating yourself up will not help you. failures are failures, i don't categorize them because i take them at their face value, there's no difference really if it's a personal or professional one.
• China
27 Jul 10
No one likes failure,but no one can ignore failure.I guess the reason wu don't like it is because we want success so much.Failure is a part fo my life,just like success is a part of my life too. Don't be afraid of it,get use to it.That's my way to handle failure.
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
Yes its true, failure is tough to handle, accept and to experience but in reality, we all experienced failures in life. For me Failure is the gauge for ones maturity, that is where we've grown stronger and learn not to commit the errant mistakes we've done to pursue for a better result or decisions in the future. We are bound to mature each time we commit mistakes.
27 Jul 10
The key things to consider when we feel that the situation is failing or you reached the level of stress maintain yourself to reality that you can overcome no matter what, you need yourself to stay on focus even if you failed on something you gonna gain on the other hand. This things happen for a reason so don't put to much burden move on and carry on.
@megabiz (185)
• United States
27 Jul 10
I'm just like you. I don't handle failure very well either. Failure just makes me more depressed. I have gotten so far into depression from not handling the failures in my life very well that I now have to take Citalopram for depression. I too need to work on it. One way I have been trying to work on my failures in the past two weeks is to pray, read the Bible and talk to my best friend. Also, when you feel like you failed, take a deep breath and try again. My friend told me last week, 'failure is a way of learning. Keep trying and soon you will turn failure in to success.' I'm doing just that. Praying, reading the Bible and trying again till I succeed. What also helps me is: when I feel like my day is just full of failure, take a hot bubble bath, drink a hot cup of green tea, slip in the covers, turn on the radio to soft music and meditate till I fall asleep. Then I wake feeling refreshed and relaxed. Amazing how after all the the night before helps me to have a failure free and more positive day. It works. I just tried it for the first time last Thursday. Friday I had more positive and no failures. ~Wishing you the best of luck to a Failure Free Day~
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
27 Jul 10
Hi Sweetlady10, Stress as you use it here of course is a mental, emotional, or physical strain or tension. You may know that there are two forms of stress, Eustress and distress. Eustress is that positive stress that warns the mind, emotions, or body that something is wrong so that we can find a remedy before the cause of the stress hurts us. Distress on the other hand is the type of stress that will cause harm to the mind, emotions, or physique. Eustress comes first and we need to be able to identify the signs within us in one of the areas. Like the insecurity we feel when we hand in a report we know we did not work on enough to our boss. Or the butterflys we get in our stomachs when we are about to attempt a physical task we are not sure we can handle, or the nervousness we feel when our significant other wants to have an important discussion. Early detection is always the best remedy. But distress usually occurs after some kind of loss. Failure at something, loss of a loved one, loss of a job. This type of stress is very dangerous to one's mental, emotional, or physical well being. As a matter of fact, experts believe that distress is intertwined and causes harm to all of our systems. When i feel symptoms of distress, I usually deal with them through occupational therapy. This helps me to concentrate on what i am capable of achieving and not on what i did not achieve or cannot control. "Its no use worrying about something you have no control over because if you have no control over it there's no use worrying about it" This holds for both personal and professional life. Deal with the positive stress before it becomes negative.
@sunilpaul (173)
• India
27 Jul 10
Failures in life either in personal or professional life....can be a shattering experience.....but one has to look up and fight for another success...in order to negate this failure...inability to have this attitude would result on only living in self pity and THAT is not going to do any good....
@ram_cv (16513)
• India
27 Jul 10
It depends on what failures and which stage in your life you face those failures. For e.g. in my case during my formative years, there was a phase where I would clear all written exams but in front of an interview panel would simply bottle out!! I would get completely tensed out and even though I knew the answers my brain would blank out. I went through something like 15-16 competitions/interviews/scholarship exams where I made the finals and then choked in front of the interview panel!! At that point I was at the lowest stage in my confidence as I thought I will never be able to make it in the professional life with these failures. But then being a sportsperson I have learned to live to fight another day, so I just took my mind away from all competitions and decided to enjoy life a bit and I did for nearly 3 years during my college days when I did not participate in any competitions and simply let myself cool down. Then one day out of the blue an opportunity came for me to apply for a job. I went in casually as I still had one year to complete in the college and I was just going to get the feel of how it is to face a job interview and guess what I topped it!! Probably just being calm and not over worked helped me. Since then, I have had a fantastic record in all interviews, so I guess for me that is how I handled failures. By taking a break and getting back my confidence and then going back to what I need to do. Cheers! Ram
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
Take failure as an opportunity to learn from the mistakes that caused the failure. Make it as a challenge to do better the next time around. Make the failures as stepping stone toward gaining wisdom so that next time around you will not fail again.
@atleya (946)
• Indonesia
27 Jul 10
Hello, yes... all you say is right. Nobody want to face failure in life. But, we remain face it at some point of our life. And like or dislike, we must handle it ourselves. It is only us ourselves that could solve our problems. I usually handle myself, failure both personal or professional. I try to solve the problem with help of God (pray). That's usually I did. Happy mylotting, and you have a nice day. Best wishes,
@nehmer (607)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
i hanndle failure by just taking it easy in everything that i do. because this is very important if i am not calm i think i would not get what i want specially my prob
@kristeena (358)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
Failures do come in our life in different situations. It depends upon you on how to handle and accept it. I don't want failure to control me although, sometimes I got upset whenever I've been faced with it. I learned to get up and go on with life. The people around me, supporting and loving me become instruments on how I keep myself going.
• United States
27 Jul 10
you just keep going it aint nothing to it becuase and the end it is all up to you you make your own furture and thats how you become the best at what you do you know just try it and you will see for your self its all in the heart of the pesron how they take things in life