Having the same issue over and over again....
By aquinoma05
@aquinoma05 (162)
Philippines
July 26, 2010 3:45pm CST
They said that in a relationship/marriage "whatever issue you had from the beginning will be the same issue that you will be fighting about after years or even after your marriage". Back when you were just new in your relationship, you were all in love and sweet and feels like everything is in the right place even if it's not. You claim that you accept everything about your partner even if you really don't. That is because you're madly in love with that person that your blinded by that same love. But what happens next? What if you did not address those issues right from the start? And then later on those will be the same issue that you will fight on over and over again... then you got tired and then you give up, not realizing that those things that you complain about him was/were the same things you said "it's OK" from the start. I believe that if all in a relationship fades away what will remain is the fact that you respect and love the company of each other. I think this issues needs to be addressed right from the very start... Well... this is just me.... What do you think?
6 responses
@buggles64 (2709)
• United States
26 Jul 10
I agree, discussions should be discussed at the beginning of a relationship....like having kids, and how many, or if Mom is going to work or stay home with the kids...But...sometimes issues might crop up after you have been together for awhile and these issues also need to be discussed. Open communication...on all levels.
I don't have a problem with a deer head hanging in my dining room, but I don't want one in the bedroom! And the bedroom is the last place for a tv..bedrooms are for sleep and intimacy!
One should never play games with the significant other..life is to short. Communication is the best key in relationships...and that means a lot of talking! Never leave the spouse guessing. Life is not about guessing what the other partner wants or needs.
@aquinoma05 (162)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
You have a point. Maybe couples just need to communicate with each other. But what if you already talked to each other but nothing happens? Or maybe you've talked but did not do anything about it? wouldn't it be tiring to talked with the same topic over and over again?
@jamuls (530)
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
if that happens, you probably didn't communicate properly. talk is talk... i could talk to someone the whole day, agree with her to do this or do that but forget everything by tomorrow. the first step should start from you, let her/him see the effort you exert for your relationship. that's one problem with relationships that started too soon, you didn't get to know her/him properly. what she/he does the 1st few weeks is maybe cute to you but later, it gets very irritating. one should accept his/her partner's flaws and deal with it. otherwise it will become a problem.
@clouds0327 (1389)
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
I agree. In a relationship, in order for you to be happy you both have to respect each other and avoid getting hurt all the time, it is the main reason why you are in a relationship (to be happy), so you better think of ways to maintain that. 
I had these issues we fight about often before getting married and laid in front of my husband and told him I don't want that to happen anymore and that if we are going to respect and care for each other's happiness then following these simple things is not going to be an extra effort really, because these basically are the things that a husband shouldn't do in the first place. If he expects me to be following him and submit to what he likes then he should also do the same and with that we could both grow and be happy and live together with love until the end of time.
I had these issues we fight about often before getting married and laid in front of my husband and told him I don't want that to happen anymore and that if we are going to respect and care for each other's happiness then following these simple things is not going to be an extra effort really, because these basically are the things that a husband shouldn't do in the first place. If he expects me to be following him and submit to what he likes then he should also do the same and with that we could both grow and be happy and live together with love until the end of time. @andy77e (5156)
• United States
27 Jul 10
Well many people have bought into the "love is all you need" idealism. Fact is, that's not true.
There are two very different types of problems. Some problems you honestly need to deal with yourself. She likes eat fish every day, and I do not like fish as much. Well you really need to determine if marriage is more important that fish.
On the other hand, if it's something important like well she gets drunk, and I can't handle that, well that's something you need to fix before you get married.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
There's a certain lesson that you need to learn in that situation that you havent learned yet that why the same problems are given to you. My partner and I are always in the same situation and I am already very sick and tired of it and I wish that something could be done but the only thing that you can do is try and make things work out.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
My partner and I always have the same issues again and again and I am tired of it already but of course, you have to deal with it. You dont have a choice. You decided to get married so you really have to work things out. I think the main reason why you are having the same problems is because there's lesson that you need to learn in those situations that you havent learned yet and you need to learn it first before you will be able to get out of it.
@lacieice (2060)
• United States
26 Jul 10
In realtionships, you have to learn to turn a blind eye to the little things...the things that don't really matter...like leaving the cap off the toothpaste.
You have to develop a high tolerance for things that annoy you, and learn to let them go. You need to agree to disagree sometimes. You need to avoid touchy subjects at times.
You need to remember why you are in the relationship...that you love that person...and realize that no one is perfect, and love them in spite of their faults.
