How to deal with a roomate?

@Suke002 (311)
United States
July 26, 2010 6:48pm CST
I'm going to college soon next month and my previous roommate switched schools at the last minute and now I'm going to have some random person move in my room at the last minute as well because of her. So how should I deal with this? And mostly, how will I deal with her if she is a complete opposite of me? I don't want to get personal and request a new roommate and complain and fight and all that. I just want to get this college crap over with so I can make some money for once. Any suggestions?
1 person likes this
33 responses
@krnavtr (285)
• India
27 Jul 10
When we meet new friends for the first time,we should introduce each other and make the room rule which should be done and which shouldn't be done.Almost all friends in a room won't have same character so we have to understand each other.Cooperation is the must to keep our relation normal.we have to share what ever we eat and listen and obey what friends say.They shouldn't take advantage to each other.
• China
27 Jul 10
Well,that sounds a good idea probably.But isn't it a bit strange to ask a new roommate to make a room rule when you meet for the first time? I am just a little doubtful about it.
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
27 Jul 10
Clarification when sharing a domicile is indeed very important. Especially when one meets a room mate for the first time. In this way future issues are avoided and the new person knows where he/she stands. Remember since both share the room, room rules are negotiable.
• China
27 Jul 10
In your points I think you want to accept her but maybe you don't really sure whether it's good for you to do that. Then I would like to tell you that you will never regret to accept her as without her you can meet someone like her that you need to deal with.And it's can be better if you can make her to accept you at the same time. Anyway,you can just take this to be a preparation for you future life. The suggestion can be find out what she like and what she don't like,try to find some points between you two.
@Suke002 (311)
• United States
27 Jul 10
Thank you for the advice. I mean this is just going to be such a random and sudden replacement that we haven't even got to know eachother before we move it because I won't know who she is until I'm in the room trying to move in. So we're just going to be thrown into the situation. I'm just going to take advice and prepare for whatever happens.
• China
27 Jul 10
Not only you but she is maybe nervous to meet her new room-mates. You can make youreslf appeared to be friendly but keep quiet and observe what she is doing,trying to figure out one thing she may like and begin a talk with that. If you trust yourself to be strong enough,you can simply begin talking with your hobboes or something like that. Even that turn out to be ignored or something worse,it's Ok,time will make you two together as you finally know each other better.
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
27 Jul 10
Hi, Getting a new roommate might need both of you to adapt to each other. You might be curious whether what kind of person is she. Frankly speaking, I don't like to have a roommate,meaning, I prefer to have my own room rather than share room with others.No privacy and worry it might lead to argument one day.To play safe, get my own room, I can do what I want. More freedom. DUring my university time, I rent a room and never want to share room with other roommate. JUst to play safe,protect myself. Maybe you guys might think I am selfish,but I am definitely not selfish,I just don't want to create problem in future. Having my own room,means,I have my own privacy and space. If I were to stay up late, at least, I won't disturb my roommate too. Don't worry too much.I believe you might get a nice roommate.Let's nature takes course. Good luckl !!
• United States
27 Jul 10
Hi, From your writed,I think you don't like have roomate for afraid lead to argument,want to play safe,to do what you wanna do,to more freedom and so on.In fact,I against you exactly,yes maybe we have differ opinion. Having roomate you all lead to argument?Cannot you solve that?Having roomate,you cannot have right to do want you wanna?Having roomate,you were forbided to enjoy yourself's freedom?All your said I think just like a idolum! I am sorry to frankly say what I think. And think about fashionable USA TV "friends" In this series of TV,you can watch those who get along well!NOT your problem like you said!Even happen humur things in the TV,and you can enjoy the sure life~ SO please think again Welcome to discuss this topic with me.~O(n_n)O~
@vjenkins86 (1478)
• United States
27 Jul 10
Well my first suggestion is not to automatically assume that you and your roommate are going to be complete opposites and might not get along. You never know how its going to work. She could end up being a lifetime friend by the end of the year. I had a similar thing happen to me. My roommate quit college mid-year because she missed her boyfriend too much. All of a sudden, I was being assigned to a new roommate from across the country. At first I was nervous, I didn't know her or had talked to her before she moved in. We were different, but we got along fine. She did her thing and I did mine and occasionally we would do things together. Keep a positive outlook at first, until she proves to be a horrible roommate. Then if it comes to a point that things go badly between you, first try to talk it out or set up some guidelines/rules. When that doesn't work out, then you can request a new roommate. Just try to keep a positive outlook and good luck in college.
@Suke002 (311)
• United States
27 Jul 10
Good advice as well! thank you. Its encouraging to know you've had a similar experience.
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
I'm a college student and I currently have three roommates. It's a lot, I know, and it can be a real hassle if you don't know how to deal with each other. It's a good thing that they're nice people and we were able to adjust to each others personalities. What we do is we talk about our preferences. Who sleeps last, who wakes up first, etc. Meeting new people can be intimidating, much more if you'll be staying in the same room for a period of time. Try to be friendly. Work out some terms that will be comfortable for both of you since you'll be living with each other. When it comes to major decisions, you should discuss it with each other to avoid conflict. Just learn to adjust and enjoy your college life.
• Vietnam
30 Jul 10
dont worry about it. people always meet new ones. u dont know about her, but what if she's a good one? just talk asually. if she is a complete of u, u can change a new one
• China
27 Jul 10
I think things are not so terrible like your imagination.You needn't worry about too much about the new comer.Just try to be more friendly and tolerant and I believe no one is willing to be your opposite.
• China
27 Jul 10
A new roommate , I think if you are kind to her , she must keep a good relationship with you . Everyone need to make friends , especially when they are in a new environment . Therefore I think she is not opposite of you . Do not care about this trivial thing so much . Good luck to you .
@aldawn22 (224)
• Philippines
28 Jul 10
That's difficult, I often heard that kind of problem with my friends before and I think it's really a serious problem if you and you're roommate are not getting along with. For sure you are not comfortable being with her and you don't want to stay in the room and hang out with her. I think the best solution is just try to ignore her presence, I know it's difficult but as much as possible concentrate and try to be busy with school activities so that you can't be with her often. Maybe you can also transfer to another room or request to change the roommate, just make a valid reason for that. Good luck!
@bkrm_gupt (219)
• India
29 Jul 10
Wow!Being with the new friends to the roommate is very difficult at the first sight.we don't know how she is what type of character does she belongs to her.But we don't have to worry more it belongs to our own character if we are close ,loving,sharing and caring friend.They will automatic become good friends in return.so we should always be good to others.
@abhi000 (235)
• India
29 Jul 10
You welcome your new roommate and be kind,cautious ,speak frankly make your roommate so comfortable with you.Then introduce each other and you two can go for walk to refresh your mind and enjoy for one to two hour and wherever you go,go with your roommate and sometime you can go for supper out.Don't be rude to your roommate always be polite and deal evasive like your own sister.
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
27 Jul 10
Unfortunately, we do not get along with everyone we come across and dealing with strangers is a skill that is very important in life and especially important for you as you will be coming in contact with many new faces. There is no guarantee either that the new roomate and you will become compatible or that you and your old roomate would remain compatible. So concentrate on those things you have control over. Sometimes it is better to deal with a stranger since you don't have any emotional attachments your relationship will begin on the proper business type level that roomates should begin with. Make your expectations clear and be ready to comprimise on certain points. Certainly there is a chance that you will get along. And stay focused. Good luck
• India
28 Jul 10
That's the reason why I don't usually make or deal with a roomates and I dont like person with different personality. Even now I am not staying with friends,I always stay myself only doing my jobs out here.
@hongocha (63)
• Thailand
30 Jul 10
i was in the same situation last year. my roommate left me unexpectedly and i had to move to a new room, sharing it with too totally random girls. one is so easy and friendly but the other is lazy and annoying. i hated her so much. but then we got to know each other, we are now three best friends. sometimes you should be willing to try something new, it will be fantastic, believe me. good luck
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
27 Jul 10
Suke002, Brandi Snyder once said: “To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.” I am a firm believer that we should always take the initiative to be a friend before we can ever gain a friend. People may be difficult and may seem to put up walls or barriers between, but sometimes people put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down. Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends. I can understand your concern here, but haven't we learn about not counting our chickens before they are hatched? I hope that you do not incapacitate yourself like an invalid cripple, you have a life journey in front of you where a friend gain is a life saved. Attitude is always the key factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. So, do remember my favorite mentor - Charles R. Swindoll's words, where he said and I quote: “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.” We are imperfect, so please remember that we are not here to find a perfect person but to learn to see an imperfect person perfectly. Take care.
• Lithuania
27 Jul 10
hello, my advice: you can try to be friendly first. Say all rules in this room and etc. if something will do what you do not like, try to explain everything very friendly. but if the person will be very complicated than ask other or go to live with somebody what do you like (you can try to move to your friend)
• China
27 Jul 10
The question is whether you are willing to accept a new friend.Everyone has different personality ,so you must find the best way to get along with different person and that's the ability of communication .If you are both outgoing persons,it will be no problem for you.But if the opposite,don't worry because your roommate also want to get on well with you.Two persons have the same wish ,so you'll try to adjust yourselves to meet each other .I believe everything will be ok and you 'll get another good roommate.GOOD LUCK!
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
27 Jul 10
Discuss about a rule at the beginning, what you like and what you don't like, and find a compromise to suit both of you. If you lay the rule from the first, it will be easier for you to deal with her when she breaks the rule, and vice versa.
27 Jul 10
We all need friends.They understand you, listen to you and make you accepted.But more importantly, they love you for being yourself so meaning when that room mate who will come along with you or accompany you.Make friends might be easy but it can be challenging. Finding the right company can turn into atrial and error method since many people don't show there true colors right away,But the nice thing about this challenge is that you get to see who likes you and who doesn't so just be yourself and be friends that room mate. who knows you might like her.
• India
27 Jul 10
best thing is to do is just to be nice...and try and get to know him or her better..bonding over drinks is always nice :)