Should i get back at them by treating them the same way they treated me??

Malaysia
August 3, 2010 3:47am CST
I had lots of good friends who treated me so well in the past, and now/recently, they've been treating me like crap. I never did anything wrong to them and i was always there for them. And now they all criticize me, treat me bad. My idea is, should i treat them the say way how they treat me, to let them feel what exactly i felt. Is this a good idea?? I m so confuse now
8 people like this
26 responses
@xandavon (102)
• Philippines
4 Aug 10
It's not good to be vengeful. You will feel up while you're doing it. But you would just feel bad afterward. The best way is to talk to them and let them know how you feel. If they still didn't change, move on and find some new friends.
• Malaysia
4 Aug 10
NOOO..i don't want to talk to them anymore..just felt tired to talk to them.. Thanks for your advices..
@xandavon (102)
• Philippines
4 Aug 10
You should go find other friends. It's not worth it to have friends like that.
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
4 Aug 10
Woah, your situation sounds similar to mine. Indeed it's the best way to react by treating them the same way BUT... when I did that, I felt like I am such a bad person and I tried my best to refrain myself from doing that. (There are still times when I felt they have step over my limit, I will not hesitate to react.) My friend once said to me that one person can do 10 good things but 1 bad things he/she committed will be magnified, covering all the good things he/she had done for you in the past. Take some time to think about it. Whether are they even worth the effort for you to maintain contact with and whether it's even worth the effort to get back at them.
@warvial (1146)
• Singapore
4 Aug 10
It's okay. I have already gone pass the stage of being upset. Just hope to share my experience with you because it's really hard (to yourself and your friends) being the bad person so rather than making yourself so work up over them, why not let your life be happier? Cheers~ Yes, true friendship are hard to find but it's definitely there somewhere.
• Malaysia
4 Aug 10
Sorry to hear that from you... Anyway, cheers up and we can find our true friendship someday
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
3 Aug 10
i don't think so... because if you do that, you will show that you are no different from them... but if you keep on being kind to them even though they had treated you badly, they will start to think and wonder and may be they will change their attitudes to you again... anyway, we are all human beings and we have feelings... take care and have a nice day...
• Malaysia
4 Aug 10
Ya..you're right, i should not do the same thing to them..if not, i will become a jerk too.. lolz Thanks you^^
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
4 Aug 10
Hi, Albert. That is sad to hear. I am sorry you had such a misfortune. But do not be like them. Just move on and I am sure you will find decent people to be friends with. Take care
• Malaysia
4 Aug 10
you take care too..and thanks for your advices^^
@Renhard (3471)
• Jamaica
3 Aug 10
If I am in that situation I will slowly back away from them. I would not depend on them for anything and i would not ask them. But i would not treat them like that because that will only show that I care and i would not want it to seem that way.
@Renhard (3471)
• Jamaica
4 Aug 10
Your welcome but is that all you can say? Does that make me a wicked person or good person. Please don't hold back, i want to know the truth. I benefit, you benefit. Ain't that fair?
• Malaysia
4 Aug 10
Thanks for your advice^^
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
4 Aug 10
Relationships go through a lot of changes. Friendships are no different. There may be specific reasons for the change in a friend;s behavior. Everyone likes to be treated like they matter. Even though s friend is not treating you the way they should, giving them the same treatment will not make the situation any better. Everyone deserves a second chance, especially a friend.
• Malaysia
4 Aug 10
Well, everyone deserves a second chance, you're right..but it's not first time they did that on me..
@BStuff (495)
• United States
3 Aug 10
Your best luck would be to ditch the friends and move on to better pasture. You getting even or trying to show them the error of their ways will probably just upset them and then make them even more bitter towards you. The cycle will continue until someone blows a fuse and the damage is done forever. Take a break from them for a few years. Get new friends then maybe in the future you can repair to damage and be friends again. Good luck!
• Malaysia
4 Aug 10
Ya..maybe you're right... I should get new friends right now..and i do believe, true friendship is somewhere out there..^^
@zralte (4178)
• India
3 Aug 10
Nah ah.....Don't stoop so low. If you do the same thing they do, that just shows you are as bad as them. Take the high road. Now, you have to think if they really are your friends. Friends don't treat each other bad. Friends support each other. May be you should tell them how you feel when they do something bad to you. Have a talk with them. May be they don't realise they treat you bad. It is a good idea to have everything out in the open. After you tell them and they still act the same way, then don't be friends with them.
• Malaysia
3 Aug 10
Is there anything else we can talk about?? It is not the first time they betray me and treat me like a noob!!
• India
3 Aug 10
Well they have learnt to utilize you very well i could say that. You have long time friendship with these dudes so it would be very difficult to let go of them but one couldn't just sit back and watch can they? Make them realize your value. If you go back or try to hurt them back then there would be no difference between you and them. A friend lost is the biggest loss for any person and an enemy lost and friend gained is the biggest gain of all. Just show these guys who's the boss around. Try to seek yourself. Find out your strengths and play by them. Never let anyone tell you that you don't deserve what you get.
• Malaysia
3 Aug 10
I understand what you mean and thanks for your opinion^^
• United Arab Emirates
3 Aug 10
Gold is always gold. Only a jeweller will be able to judge the quality of it. if your friends do not treat you well its time to change friends. Chose friends who are always better than you and know more. You will learn by their experiences.
• Malaysia
3 Aug 10
Anyway, i learned a valuable lesson this time.. I think should thanks them for that. ^^
@devijay78 (1573)
• India
3 Aug 10
As told earlier, try talking to them and make them understand that their actionts are hurting. If they continue treating you the same way in spite of you having a talk with them, dump them. It will hurt for a while, but hey, the world is big enough for you to find friends who value your friendship. No point in contnuing with people who call themselves friends and dont bother about how you feel. And as for behaving the same way as they do, dont waste your time on them.
• Malaysia
4 Aug 10
It's not the first time i told them, don't ever do something that hurts me..but they never listen.. Just tired with them already.. Thanks for your opinion..
@rose005 (254)
• India
3 Aug 10
I am sorry to hear that. But do you think is it a good theory to treat someone how they treat you? Or do you think there is a benefit in treating them better than they treat you even if they never improves.. I think it would be a case by case decision, but one's own personality will always shine through, regardless of how the other person acts towards me. So be what you are one day they will realize and come to you that time tell them how you felt when they treated you bad. Show color of their face in front of you..
• Malaysia
3 Aug 10
Yes, one day they will know and felt exactly what i felt now!! Thanks for your opinion!!
@pirate451 (152)
• India
3 Aug 10
Oh my God!.....what types of friend did you got and if they treat you so bad than why you have follow them is better to go for another friends their is lot of friends those who want us not only they......but you observed them before you leave them may they are just kidding with you for some days.....After that if they didn't dam than is go away from them,if you didn't do anything bad to them and they or not doing friend with you than their no matter....world is covered with full of people which good and bad but you go for good one ...be friend with them.........!!!
• Malaysia
3 Aug 10
They're those kind of friends that only seek for BENEFIT!!! Yes, you're right, they just kidding with me and abandoned me now!!! But, i still believe there're true friend on this world..and it is out there..^^
@TikaTalk (89)
• United States
3 Aug 10
The best revenge is success. I've found that anytime I'm doing something positive, here come the haters. That's what they are. HATERS! Don't let them get you down, do you. Basic algebra (+)+(+)=positive. Anytime you throw that negative in there, you mess up the equation. You just need to keep your eyes open for those postive people in your life and stick next to them. And don't worry, you'll see your other buddies again. As you're passing them by on the bus stop in your new whip!
• Malaysia
4 Aug 10
Hehe..thanks for your opinion^^
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
4 Aug 10
Hi Albert If they are real Friends then they will sit and talk things through with you if you ask them if they do not want to talk then I suggest you drift away from them It is no good treating them back the same way as you are lowering yourself to their Level Real Friends will sit and talk things through and realize the mistake Try not to do to much for them any more as it seems at the moment they do not deserve it I am sorry your Friends are being like this
@hmike_d (1529)
• Philippines
4 Aug 10
There's no use of throwing back the fire to them dude. The following lines may help you: "The best thing to treat a person who criticize is to ignore him. Do not let him know that you are disturbed by his remarks. Refuse to give him the satisfaction of having you answer back. Argument is generally useless and a waste of time. When you try to get even, you'll just consume your energy and gradually embitter your spirits. Most of the time, you are in danger of descending to the level of the one who attacked you. When a person treats you unfairly, you need not defend yourself. Intelligent people will judge your life by what you do... and not by what some slanderous gossip has had."
@34momma (13882)
• United States
4 Aug 10
I would just no longer be friends with them. If they were ever your friends they would come to you and explain how the feel if they think you did something wrong. but to just treat you mean out of the blue then they are not real friends. true friends talk to you, they let you know they love you but you messed up. not treat you like crap and never tell you why!!
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
4 Aug 10
Hi Albert, No that the way to go. Continue to treat your friends the way you want them to treat you, NOT the way they are treating you now. This is where most of us go wrong, we think about getting even and all that will do is bring more trouble on yourself. Blessings.
@primeaque86 (8105)
• Philippines
4 Aug 10
If I am in your shoes, I would not treat them the same way friend, I can understand your feeling now as I did experience that before too... yet it is not really good to fight back... when people throw you some hard things on your face, do not through them hard things back, try to pick some lighter and smoother ones, hehehehe, just rewording that famous line. Anyway, time would come they would realize that you are the wrong person to be treated that way, stay the same friend, just care for them like how you care them before... keep the friendship, I know you can. God bless and Good luck!
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
4 Aug 10
I would not stoop down to their level. If you are unable to talk to them civilly and discuss why they are treating you so badly I would be inclined to end the so called friendships and move on to other people who will appreciate you. It would not be an easy thing to do but no one deserves disrespect. True friends help make you feel better about yourself not worse!