I'm confused! Please help!!!

Hi! Perhaps, I'm younger than you are since you have mentioned having kids. Actually, I'm like in the same situation as you were. In my young years of living, I have been trained to follow rules at home, at school, or at work. All my life, what I did was try to impress to my parents especially my mother. I followed all her rules although I don't really like it. I pretended to be someone I'm really not. However, time came wherein I could not take it anymore. I became rebelious (not in a very bad way, though). It was hard because she's supposed to be a mother, one whom you can share things, someone who understands, someone who cares but what happened was, she became my worst enemy. After all the quarrels and misunderstandings that we've had, I realized that she has her own reasons for doing so. She was only thinking what she thought was best for me. I was sorry for it not really because she is my mother but because my father was more affected because of the distance that I have with my mom. Now, I am facing another tough challenge. My family and some relatives doesn't like the man I love. They have been making it a big deal to the point that their opinion affects my parent's thinking. In short, they don't like him because of the influence of my aunts, uncles, grandmother, etc. I was really sad but I decided to stick with what makes me happy and that is to stay with the man I love. My mom did not talk to me for a month because of it then, we had a confrontation one day. I told her that I hate it when she listens more to the people around than to me, her daughter. I also told her that if she mentions one single word about the guy, she can never hear anything from me. It was all cooled down between us. Just lately, rumors spread out through our neighborhood that I've been sleeping at my boyfriend's house. I was shock because as far as I know, I've been sleeping on my own bed all this time. I was sad and decided to break up with the guy. A day after that incident, I realized that breaking up with my boyfriend is not the answer. Perhaps, if I will be with another guy and they still doesn't like him for me, history will just repeat itself. It's painful to do something not because you want to but because you have to.. What I learned was, we can never impress anybody. One way or another, they've got something bad to say about you. Now, since things already happened with you and it's hard to take it all back, I guess what you can do is live the life that you have right now. You have your children. Love them not just as your children but as your friends. Isn't it nice if they tell you that you're the coolest mom? I bet you answered yes. Also, find time to be with our creator. Pray and you will feel lighter. Another thing, acknowledge your mistakes, forgive yourself, and forgive others. In peace, you can find happiness. Don't stop loving. Look into yourself and know what you really want in life, what you have, and what you still need. Remember that everything happens for a reason. I hope I was able to help out a bit. Please tell me if you feel bad or much better after reading this.

You need to surround yourself around positive things and people. Life is hard and there is no way that you can please all people. Happiness starts within. Love yourself and accept yourself for who you are. The people around you will wither accept you or not. That's their loss if they decide not to. You sound like a great person. Be who you are and nothing more. Good Luck.

You need to put yourself first sometimes, otherwise you can get real frustrated with others because your needs aren't getting met. When I got married, I tried very hard to please my husband and he ended up leaving me and divorcing me after three years of marriage so all the time and effort I put into that was wasted. I made a lot of sacrifices for him both personally and job wise and he just walked out on me one day. It sounds to me like you have a lot of good things going, but if none of it is what you wanted then it doesn't matter much does it. Maybe you want to reevaluate your life and do some things you want to do. It also sounds to me like you are little depressed which happens to us all. If it doesn't pass soon and you still fell lonely and empty then I would suggest checking into therapy. Sometimes you just need someone outside the situation to talk to, it can help a lot.

Hon please know that you are not alone with this. I too have the same feelings daily. I married at 16 and had two children I have raised alone. I spent all my life pleasing everyone but me and now that I need someone no one knows I am still alive. My children are my blessings as without them I would not be living, the only thing I can suggest is prayer. I pray daily as life is a complete struggle and although my prayers are yet to be answered I do find some comfort for the moment. We are all here to help and console one another as in one form or another we all need assistance. Good luck to you, and take one day at a time but please stay optimistic that same day you will be better. At least that is what I keep telling myself.

Do you have a wife and kids?

I really appreciate that your presence create happiness for the others. I think you should keep this virtue up because this is the positive power that you have given the others but I also think that you have to reserve some of your time and energy to do things that you want to do so as to make you feel more successful in life and feel less empty. Parents who love their children spend all their effort in teaching their children and I think you are one of them. This is just a normal thing for you to have done because you love your children. Remember, you are not sacrifying for your children. You are providing the best that you can to them. They will understand that. It might not be now, but probably when they have grown up. They will appreciate the support and care that you have provided them and would have done something in return. Also, if your family and friends love you, they will show their greatest support to you for what you have decided to do. Therefore, you do not have to be afraid that doing what you would like to would upset them. I am sure that they will feel happy if they see you feeling satisfied with what you have done. To conclude, try to do something you would like to and help the others as you were at the same time. Then, you will not regret for the life you have lived when you are old and will find yourself living a colourful life.

Please do not feel disheartened, you have done so many good and positive things in life and please count your blessing. And also, try to find some time for your own activities. All the best.

Make a commitment to yourself that from now on you are going to put yourself first and live your life the way you want to.This does not mean you should neglect your children however. But do things that you want to do. Your opinion of you is more important than anyone elses is.

live your life not trying to please others or yourself why not try pleasing your creator GOD!in the long run it is the only way we humans can find happiness!

Hi mcmflores, Giving up own own needs and desires and to take care of family, friends, and sometimes people we don't even know, is very typical of us women. We are called nurturers. We give everyone what they want and need, leaving our own cares and our life's ambitious unfulfilled. You have nurtured everyone around you, and doing so is a great thing. I won't say sacrificed, because I believe you love doing for your family and friends. However, I believe that you can, while taking care of us, take care of yourself and fulfill some of your dreams. Start by doing small desires or just jump right in and go for a huge desire that you have put on the back burner, if you will. That would probably shock everyone, but don't you think it is time? Your life cannot be centered around making others happy, while you are hurting inside because you feel that you are missing out on living your life your way. You must be true to yourself. When you are true to yourself, your laughter will be true laughter, filled with happiness, from inside to outside. In other words, you will not be pretending that you are happy when you are not. Good Luck

I am sorry to hear about you. I can't help you or advice, because I am not a powerful person.

Hi mcmflores.Everyone feels confused when they dont know what to do or what is going to happen.Now you are confused cause you haven't live in your own way.If you really hate to pleased others,then just stop.But for family,we should understand it's our home and since we are family we can share everything not just happiness.I am still a students in university.I thing my parents give me too much,especially their love.So no matter what difficult I have to face,I dont afraid even I failure my parents will still support me.Maybe you should think quietly.Be cheers!

The best way is to keep yourself busy with some or other work, Dont let thoughts come into ur mind that u are lonely and empty.Listen to music or read a book which will relax ur mind and help u to come out from these thoughts which spoil ur happiness

As long as you're alive and have your health, there's always some way to find out what you need and want to make you whole, and to go get it. You may have to spend most of your energy on your family right now, but you have the right to take some time for yourself. Think about what you wanted when you were younger. If you still want the same things today, figure out ways to work toward getting them. It doesn't have to be all at once. Until you start doing what's right for you you'll always feel the way you do right now. Just remember that people can change their lives at any age.