how to open mind?

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i'm female. when i was a child my family told me the girl must be reserved. i has been amuse with grils in the whole childhood. in junior high school my close fried told my secret to anther and they laugh at me.i was hurt. i open my mind hardly since that. early of this year limao who is the man that i loved was married. i was feel lost. but i couldn't talk my feeling to anyone. in fact we love eachother. but he has been engaged two years ago. so i must left. i change my job and we didn't contact eachother. he has lots of friend .i think and hope he will nice.i couldn't forget him. sometimes i was so sad but ididn't talk with anyone. i weapt alone.i konw no one love listless people. i must open my mind and make more friend. close friends or regular friends. i want to make my life sunny. how to open mind?