How do you tackle your guest coming with a 10 year mischievious kid?

India
August 21, 2010 5:43am CST
Recently, one of my very old friend, his wife and their ten year old son stayed with us for two days. While we enjoyed the company of our friend and his wife, the kid made our life hell. First thing he did to soak our tooth-brushes with soap, He poured tea in my shoes and did all such things which, if I start writing, would take days to complete. He tore away number of our books and comics by opening almirah, When I objected his mother came and took away her son but her reaction eas obvious. Both of us felt harassed so much that after their departure we simply sat and looked at each other for quite some time. The worst thing, which we noticed, was even more surprising. Their parents were silent spectators only. They never asked their son to behave. On the contrary, on his every mischievious work,they used to laugh heartily as if it was big joke. They were not at all concerned with destruction caused to our materials. In fact, they wanted us also to enjoy the destruction caused by their son. We heaved sigh of relief and while dropping them at railway station, I told my friend to keep his son under control. My friend did not like it and told me that if I did not like his son, he would not come again. I retorted that he and his wife were welcome but they should not bring their son with them. I know they would never talk with me and would never come to me. However, I am happy. I would like them never to come to us. T do not know why they have not taught their child basic courtesy and behaving outside. Have you come across such situation? If so, how do you react?
3 people like this
10 responses
katherine23
@katherine23 (255)
• Philippines
21 Aug 10
wow have you tried to talk to that child..maybe he wants attention thats why his doing a lot of things that makes you to notice him.
1 person likes this
Kumar1232009
@Kumar1232009 (1215)
• Spain
21 Aug 10
he objected once but his mum lifted him out of his face...
Jane
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
21 Aug 10
I had same situation a month ago. My sister stayed for a vacation with her 2 sons aged 9 and 6. I don't have problem with the elder son becoz he behave so well and listen to instructions. But with the youngest i almost lost my control always. He is so busy exploring things to the extent of damaged or ruining it. The good thing is,my sister always told me to help with disciplining her youngest son becoz she can't handle it too. After a month of staying with us,i end up replacing the whole linoleum flooring at the living room (good thing my rugs doesn't end in a mess,but i send it for some cleaning too) I had to change two faucets one in the kitchen basin and the bathroom faucet too. The shower is spared becoz i remove after seeing he always drop it each time he remove it from the shower tube The problem is he never seems to listen,i want to punish him but i don't want to hurt my sister for doing it thu she told me i can spank of punish her son ( i am also a mother) Well,i hope next time they'll come to visit us the youngest will behave then. Happy weekend
1 person likes this
Foxxee
@Foxxee (3651)
• United States
22 Aug 10
A 10 year old acting out like this is so sad. I have to wonder if he has some kind of disability. Soaking your toothbrush in soap & putting tea in your shoes just doesn't seem right for a 10 year old... I can see a younger child doing this, maybe a 3 year old, but 10? Yes the parents should of stepped up, but sometimes parents feel to ashamed to step up with others watching & may not feel comfortable with discipline. I know some kids with learning problems are just really hard to discipline & no punishment would of worked anyway. This is something you should of talked with the parents on... ask them why they don't try to discipline. It's best to pull the parents aside in situations like this... As for telling a parent to control their child, well that never goes to well.... you have to try to aviod those words unless your ready to hear the parent lash back. Sometimes it's best to just ask the parents straight up... "Is there a reason your not punishing your child for putting tea in my shoes?" Anyway, sorry you had a bad time. Hopefully he was punished when they got home.
barehugs
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
22 Aug 10
A 10 yr old kid is practically grown up! He would, and certainly should, know right from wrong. I would go absolutely Ballistic as soon as he deliberately destroyed an article of mine in my own home. I would not argue, I would not relax. I would grab the kid and toss him out of my house, all the while insisting he could only come back in, crawling like a dog, and apologizing for the damage he had done to my possessions and then sware on a stack of Bibles he would behave! If there were objections from his parents, I would give them 2 simple and quick choices. Either shut up, and watch me reprimand their atrocious kid, or take the kid and go HOME!
my_name_is_coco
@my_name_is_coco (4334)
• Philippines
22 Aug 10
I am not a fan of kids.if he were my friend,I would ask him to stay at somebody else's house with his kid.I will make up an excuse,like "I am having my house renovated" or "I have some family members coming over the same day".I don't have patience with kids.I also don't like parents who let their kids be kids to the expense of damaging somebody else's property or disturbing the peace and quiet.I would welcome the couple of they don't bring their kid.I would rather be a mommy to dog or cat than be a mommy of a kid.
Kumar1232009
@Kumar1232009 (1215)
• Spain
21 Aug 10
hi there mr udaymohan. did you give something to the kid that could divert his mischievousness and get his attention from destroying your things? i always do this with my nephews and nieces.. i understand, rebuking and punishing is not always a good idea for kids. perhaps, it will just drive them become rude.. in my own opinion anyway, the kid parents remain positive as if they punished him, it will take a lot of time to soothe and stop him from crying.. so, that would be very embarassing then.. lol
1 person likes this
Patsie Hatley
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 10
hi udaymohan oh yes we had some neighbors once who brought their six year old daughter brat with them. She tore up magazines, she stepped on the cat's tail on purpose, tried to pour glue on the dog, all while mommy looked on and laughed. then she took down an heirloom my grandmother had given me and tossed it back and forth in her hands. of course it finally fell on the floor where it broke in two. I picked up the pieces, looked for the mom to repremand her., she did not so I grabbed the brat named Sara, I gave her one hard swat on her butt. I said, " that was priceless Sara. don't touch anything now. better yet you go sit out on the porch.I need to talk to your mother. Her mom got up, told me never touch my child again, and I told her, do not ever bring your brat into my home. not eve . now leave. She never did visit me again. I really did not care.
chickabee
@chickabee (119)
• United States
21 Aug 10
Okay, this child is way too old to be pulling such stunts, especially at his parent's friend's house. Quite evidently his parents haven't given him any training at all, evidenced by the fact that they laughed at him for his destructive behavior. This will have serious conseqences for this child in the years to come. First of all, I do not believe in coddling children for fear of hurting their little feelings. This boy is begging for correction. You couldn't have, but his folks should have given him a good spanking. (I didn't say beating) My brother-in-law had 4 kids that acted like that and we dreaded seeing them come. Once the parents acted oblivious to what was going on as the kids went into my underwear drawer and threw my underwear to the floor then took a magic marker and wrote all over my dresser. These children are now grown and their kids do the same things. Your friends owe you a big apology and one to their son also for not bringing him up right. Forgive them even if they don't ask for it. But that does not mean you need to be subject to this kind of visit again. chickabee
LetranKnight25
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
21 Aug 10
my view here udaymohan, I would punch him in the Face, and be honest of what kind of parents they are and the kind parenting that they are giving to the child. which i believe is totally wrong, because they are spoiling him. like their son, the family doesn't have a single shame towards you, since it's you're house by the way I don't want to make friends with people who doesn't teach their children how to respect others property,privacy, and their home.i wouldn't want that befriending my KID. ha ha ha. they will suffer in the END when that kid grows up.
ptower76
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
22 Aug 10
You know, this type of thing is happening more and more these days and for the life of me, I don't understand why. Personally, I love to have children around but i will not tolerated spoiled and disrespectful children. In my house i am the law and regardless of what the child's parents say, the type of behavior you explain is simpy not tolerated for either the child or the parents. It is a testament to your patience and friendship that you did not toss the whole lot of them out when the behavior began. I would have. And friendship apart, I may have openly ended the friendship their and then since I don't want friends like that no matter how long i know them. Such a sharp contrast from when we were children. On the other hand, it may be helpful to examine your part in allowing the behavior. If you knew they were coming, did you plan some type of activity to keep the boy occupied while you and his parents spend hours recalling old times? Was the child expected to just sit around and listen to the conversation of the grownups. Did you demand that the parents stop the behavior or did you just say, "hey look what your son's doing stop him?" I remember my god mother, god rest her soul, would have the neighbors two grandsons over that were about my age when i went to visit. I was never bored there and have happy memories. Also, I remember my mom scolding one of her friends in front of their child that behaved similarly. Shocked all of us especially the mother and her son. Well, the lucky thing is that the storm has passed.