I have Two

Canada
August 21, 2010 4:24pm CST
As of now, and over the past couple months, I've been in 2 relationships. One girl that lives in my city, and we get together usually a couple times per week, and the other about 300km south of me, not only in another city, but another country. They both know about eachother, and are really just fine with it, they also have either, other relationships, or are going out and dating other guys here and there. The one who lives nearby is lots of fun to hang out with, and we have some great times together too, if you know what I'm talking about... and we see eachother once or twice a week. The girl south of me, I talk with almost everyday, and we get together once every few months. Now, the girl close to me is cool, I like her, but I'm in love with the girl who lives far away from me. That girl really is my dream come true, and if you had told me I'd have a girl like her when I was younger, I would have seriously thought you were pulling my leg. She is just fantastic, in her style and our similarities and how well we get along, she's awesome in everything. Now, while with the girl close to me, I haven't gone to see the girl south of me, and she hasn't come to see me, either, but we have plans for that happening in the next month or so. The girl close to me knows about it, and seems fairly easy about it, but she's been falling for me more, so I don't know how she'll react to it when it really comes up. How do you feel about the whole thing? What do you think will happen when the girl from the South comes up to see me, and I tell the girl nearby that I need my time alone with her? I'd love to hear your opinions.
5 responses
• United States
21 Aug 10
Your a open player I see. I think it is going to back fire on you real good. If you love this one woman who lives far from you. Then you would not be sexing the other woman you would wait on your true love. Now that you know this I would never allow this nice girl to come see me if I were you. I would go see her and spend time there. If this other girls physically harms the nice one what in god's name would you do? You need to be a real man and pick one or the other. Simple as eating pie.
• United States
21 Aug 10
Can I add that I do not think he feels there is anything wrong which is arrangement. But it will fall someday as truly what women really allow this, unless the girl out south is cuddling with another.
@ptower76 (1618)
• United States
22 Aug 10
Well said.
• Canada
22 Aug 10
What really pushed me towards being an "open player" in this whole thing, is two parts, one, that when I fell for the girl to the south in the first place, years ago, she was with another guy, who today, she is no longer, in a relationship with, but she lives with him. In the earlier parts of this year, it was more that we were, kind of together, but nothing really serious, while she went and found another guy out there. Don't be thinking shes some sort of sh@nk. She's nearly 30 now, and this new guy is actually only the fouth guy she's been with, relationship or otherwise, in her life. She's more one that never wants to give up. When you have feelings for someone, they don't go away, they just fade more, but those feelings are still there. The girl who's close to me, brought this direction towards me more then I did her. She was an old girlfriend of mine, actually from about a year ago, after things had gone into a horrible fizzling out and breaking up with the girl to the south. Back then, with the girl who's near me, the relationship ended there after only a few months, with neither of us getting along any more, and both of us taking on directions that simply did not work with the other. Now, they've both come back, and they're both completely open with me, so I see no need to be anything but completely open with them, too. What woman would allow this? Really, is was them who came tome with this direction, and I'm absolutely willing to go along with it. The girl near me has her dates, while the girl to the south has hers. It's like, a true grouping of polyamorous relationships, and I really don't mind that.
@ptower76 (1618)
• United States
21 Aug 10
Well, its good that you are honest about this whole matter at least to those around. Perhaps you should be a bit more honest to yourself. I don't mean to cause any conflict or anamosity between us so please don't get me wrong. But bottom line is that by looking at end result one gets an idea of motivation for behavior. To me, the one close to you seems a source of convenience while the one farthest away represents future hopes. I don't see how you can say you love one, while having relationship with the other. Perhaps its me just being old fashioned. But if i truly loved one i would leave the other with no doubts. Seems that the conflict arises because you want to keep the one that is close around for when the one that is far goes back home after her visit. Perhaps this is not what you want to hear so I apologize in advance. I think that when and if you do choose it will be because you truly love one and not the other. Otherwise, true love here simply does not apply in my opinion.
• Philippines
22 Aug 10
I've never encounter this kind of situation before-I mean being open about having another. I don't mean to intrude but in my opinion, keeping them both will most likely result to an argument in the future. Relationships are difficult to handle. To some, they are even fragile. If you choose both, you may lose both.
• Portugal
21 Aug 10
i appreciate that you were honest with them ^^ and they were honest too. but is hard bcs both get together so in end someone can get hurt. like you say girl that lives closer to you is loving you more she might be hurt if you see that other girl. and if you see that other girl is your dream come true why dont you go live near her? if you love her you can do that. or she might be with someone else and fall for that person and be with him and end things with you.
• Canada
22 Aug 10
Well, there are big problems in the direction of either me living near her or vice versa, one is that they are in two different countries, where we are both quite set in the countries we live in, it's not just a walk down the street. Her extra large problem with living here, is that she is an immigrant to the country she's in now, which shes had so many problems with for so many years now, and have finally been resolved more recently. I also can't live with her, because of a big difference that we have in our lives, that being cats. She actually has 5 cats in her place, and has really gone wild for them... she sees them like her children, while I'm quite allergic to them. When I go to see her, I can't stay at her place, I instead get a hotel, and we go roaming around the city together. I also mentioned in the post right above this one, she is with other men, as well. It's a bit of what made me much more at ease with this whole thing. It's something I've seen a lot with the girls I've been with, through my life. Perhaps one of us will someday find some true 100% love of our lives, although that doesn't seem like such a possibility to me as it did when I was younger. But, if that happened, then me and the girl to the south would still remain very close friends, we might just not see eachother again... Now that concept, of never ever seeing her in person again, makes me sad... thats something that I hope never happens.
@kukueye (1761)
• Malaysia
22 Aug 10
Haha.Your are envy of many dudes out there.Haha.But at the end there could be one one i guess.Well i guess it depends on your needs.To u want long term relationship or a another kind of relationship which is open where your can sleep around with other girls. Personally have no luck like your.Can only spent time on 1 girl at a time.Girls in my life is not as sharing as yours. They will throw pots and tantrum if they know i am playing with 2 girls at the same time.
• India
22 Aug 10
I think you are clearly fishing in troubled waters…though from what I hear about the girl living close by, she’s open to having just fun. But if you feel that she’s getting too close and if you really want the other girl, then it would be better if you start maintaining a distance with the girl living close by. If the girl who’s going to visit you, is your ideal one for a long term relation, then its best to come clear and not have any other relationships. As you say that you’ve had a lot of ‘fun’ with the girl living close by, the other girl might not be comfortable with this arrangement and then you’ll have to make a choice.