Home owner association more like "Totalitarian community"

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My friend sound so disgruntled with his home owner association on the last few weeks, and he just want to file a complaint, but it seems won't work at all. The only thing he can do just move out there and find somewhere else. With home owner association from my past experience, they are more like communist, and you have to obey their order absolutely without doubt. For instance, once they send out the mail to notify our neighborhood, we should use this mailbox instead of the old model. But that metal mailbox just over $200, and I really don't want to spend that money. For protecting the neighborhood house market value, the president rejected my request, and I have to do as what the decision says. Another time, I have to use certain color to paint my house outer wall too according to their standard. So, what do you think? Isn't it totalitarian to you? We still have to pay $200 per month for this b*llsh*t home owner association annually.