And what if I was wrong

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Everyday I end up in my room meditating To clear my mind of everything I did And then I practice my kata and go through all the motions to rid the unnatural behavior my body underwent as well I always do this to cleanse both body and mind this is to stop myself from thinking too much of all the little what ifs in life People depend on me to do my job everyday so that they too can do their jobs it is a big responsibility, bigger than i am and because of this i always have to make decisions on the fly i calculate the decision that would benefit my people the most i minimize my risks just to make sure they will still have a source of income tomorrow and in the next couple of days. i always make sure that when i risk something i am sure of the outcome. but in the back of my mind... i always wonder... what if i was wrong? what if i had taken the greatest risks and although i have lots of collateral damage, i'd have givin them the brighter future they all deserve? what if? what if? what would you do?