Physical attraction

@catalady (363)
September 10, 2010 7:57am CST
When we first meet people we are often influenced by the way that they look, and this shapes our opinion of them...whether this is as a friend or a deeper relationship. Interestingly , we make friends on the internet often without even seeing the person and a second sense seems to kick in and we make quite firm friendships just by talking and not actually meeting them physically.In these circumstances the physical attraction is not so important. I have also found that I have met some people, who on first meeting them didn't seem particularly physically attractive but the more I got to know them as a person and I got to know their personality they began to look more attractive just because I had come to know them as a person and liked that person. Do you find that you are initially influenced by a persons personality or by the way that they look ? Have you found that some people who were initially physically attractive seem to lose that appeal as you get to know them and find that you don't actually like their personality?
5 people like this
12 responses
• Regina, Saskatchewan
10 Sep 10
All kinds of body chemistry goes into action upon first viewing and our brains respond accordingly. With maturity comes the ability to overlook the first mental impression and form the more lasting 'emotional' one. Not judging a book by it's cover as they say. That is not to say that our instincts should be ignored. Sometimes even the most beautiful people are those to be wary of and the most unattractive those to nurture. In real life, I try to find that one feature of a person that is truly beautiful, be it their eyes, their laugh, their aura, whatever it is, and go from there in my 'impression' of them. Online, I pay attention to how they express themselves. People reveal so much about themselves in the way they 'write' and I find my instincts about people online, strangely, more accurate than in real life. And I suppose a lot of that has to do with NOT having had that first visual impression.
3 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
10 Sep 10
I think a lot of it has to do with not having the visual, so chemistry doesn't get immediately in the way. Online, you have to read, to assess and to think instead of just reacting. So our instincts become honed. But yes, we must still be sensible. lol
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@catalady (363)
10 Sep 10
Hi sparkofinsanity...oh I so agree with your comment about how you form opinions about people you meet online intinctively...it's almost as if we develop another sense to the 5 we generally use in meeeting people, and this 'other' sense seems to be a very reliable one too ( when used sensibly of course )
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@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
11 Sep 10
Yes, with online people I can draw my conclusion of their personality by looking at the pictures they posted, how they write about themselves and how they interact with me and others.
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@gunagohan (3414)
• India
10 Sep 10
I think, physical attraction has got less effect.. Guys around 18- 22 first get attracted towards physically and even if they are good or bad in their personality, they don't mind.. Though i come under 21, i don't mind, i never mind the physical things.. i'm interested only in how they behave mentally!! Their personality means much to me.. I have been attracted many times physically by girls, but those attraction turned down, because they are nice, so they talk what ever they like .. But there are some guys who just speak nicely during the first meet and they maintain it throughout leading to a very good personality!!
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@catalady (363)
10 Sep 10
That's interesting gunagohan that you are young yourself yet you feel that personality is more important to you, as you rightly said I think for young men in particular the way a girl looks is of prime importance initially.
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@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Sep 10
yes, when I get to know a person better, they may look more attractive to me. The reverse is not true, however. I can recognize that somebody is physically attractive, but not like them very much.
2 people like this
@catalady (363)
10 Sep 10
I agree with you generally Dawnald, though I must say that I have experienced a situation where I initially thought someone was physically attractive but as I got to know them better and actually came to dislike them I saw them in a completely different light and somehow they actually lost that physical appeal too and became quite unattractive to me. As you said though, I can also recognise someone as being physically attractive but not particularly like them as a person.
1 person likes this
@ANIME123 (2466)
• United States
10 Sep 10
Actually yes it's so weird because this guy who was my friends friend and started becoming my friend I did not think that he was all to good, but then when I started to know him some more that didn't matter any more and I really loved his personality. Wow it's just so weird how that happens, but yeah looks don't really matter because you have to get to know the person first you just can't assume by the way someone looks and that's what I have come to learn and I am going to keep on thinking that way too.
@catalady (363)
10 Sep 10
I had a friend who had a boyfriend who was not particularly good looking , but as I got to know him more and found what a lovely person he really was I began to see him in a different light and somehow he became better looking too! Obviously , we need to see the 'whole ' person to really make a judgement :o)
1 person likes this
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
10 Sep 10
Well, I am a normal woman, so I am often attracted by physical looks: handsome, gallant, macho, cool, etc. But after listening to him talking, seeing him smiling, observing him interacting with people, I can decide that I don't like him now. So, I understand now that physical looks aren't my thing. I look for deeper person: like deeper pocket...
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@catalady (363)
10 Sep 10
Of course jennyze...good looks are often attractive and draw us to someone initially , that's only human I think. Ultimately though there is more than looks to make a person attractive I believe.
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• Philippines
10 Sep 10
Hi catalady! I believe that there is something inside a person, call it an "it", that surfaces and manifests itself physically and makes them attractive. There are goodlooking people who don't attract me and there are people who are not goodlooking but quite attractive for me. It must therefore come from the inside. Like here at Mylot, there are discussions started by mylotters I find really interesting and which I like. Gives me a smile when I read these discussions. I like the discussions and I wonder about the persons who started these. Must come from the inside. I reserve judgment though until I get to know the person better through interaction.
2 people like this
@catalady (363)
10 Sep 10
Yes, I believe you are right figurativeme..there is definitely an 'it' factor involved for me too....and some people just have 'it' and other people don't - regardless of how they look physically.
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@zapatee (477)
• Philippines
10 Sep 10
hi, catalady. i find that physical looks does have an effect when we first meet a person. personally, i don't give too much emphasis on how one looks, though admittedly i do get impressed by good-looking people. but it usually ends after i get to hear them talk and learn how they behave about something or someone else. that's where my opinion of that person really forms. but i still try to avoid being judgmental, because i don't find it useful. it's even unfair. what's important is what goes on beyond the physical looks. i find people who are simple yet sensible most attractive. also, our definition of physical beauty (man or woman) always vary. so it's not right to push one's idea of beauty to other people who have a different take on this matter. happy mylotting, guys!
@catalady (363)
11 Sep 10
Hello zapatee,I think your response is probably how we all feel really...the physical thing is appealing at first and the first thing that gets our attention..but then the other things about a person become important too as we get to know them.
@bird123 (10632)
• United States
11 Sep 10
True love is a spiritual connection. Physical attraction can get your motor running but it will never last. I once dated a beautiful runway model.She physically beautiful. I funny thing happened. The longer I dated her; the uglier she became to me. Soon, I couldn't stand to even be around her. We had no spiritual connection. In time the physical attraction wore off. Don't we all just see people for who they are after knowing them for just a short while. Connections must run deeper than the surface.
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@catalady (363)
11 Sep 10
Nicely put bird...I totally agree with you :o)
@MrDollars (454)
• Australia
21 Sep 10
I agree with you totally. Like there are heaps of men and women who are very attractive but if they are total....ba$tards, then they seem to become less attractive. Strange how that works but it also goes the other way. Someone who does not really seem all that attractive, but are so damn sweet and down to earth who just have just a beautiful heart are beautiful themselves. $-MrDollars-$
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@catalady (363)
21 Sep 10
awwww mrdollars..you old softy, you put that very well :o)
@jhyan007 (467)
• Philippines
11 Sep 10
...i agree, most of the time, we pre-judge people according to their appearance...but later time, as time goes by and we have spent a lot of times with that person, be it your lover or a friend, their appearance no longer matters...what's inside the cover is the most important part...it does not only create your personality but also the entire you...
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@catalady (363)
11 Sep 10
Yes jhyan, you are so right in all your comments, I totally agree with you on all points.
@gjax57 (897)
• United States
10 Sep 10
looks fade ones personality is with you for life. I ALWAYS go by ones personality!...its really very simple.
1 person likes this
10 Sep 10
In my opinion , physical atraction is the most important thing that atracts a girl and a boy on each other.If i am a boy , and i see a nice girl , i am atracted to her. Yes , the way she talks and she thinks is another problem.But the first thing you are atracted on somebody , is the way he/she looks. P.S. Sorry for my bad english
@catalady (363)
10 Sep 10
Your English is just fine Simeria, I understood perfectly. I have found that the way you feel now is usually the feelings of a younge person ..is this true?
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