What's the best way to get rid of insecurity?
By joybragat
@joybragat (39)
September 11, 2010 9:20pm CST
I hate to admit this but I needed some help. I tend to be envious with people whom I've seen successful. I don't like the feeling but I get to compare them to myself although I know that it's not right. An example would be, one of my friends is going abroad, right then and there I feel that they are luckier than I do. I understand that it is just not right but see, I don't feel like talking to her anymore although I know that it's not her fault. :( Does anyone experience this as well?
Please advise.. Good advise, please.. I badly need it! Thank you..
1 person likes this
7 responses
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
12 Sep 10
You are envious of other people success, this is not good. Maybe you can find what is best in yourself and work on it. It will give you a value on yourself and a tool to your own success. It may not the same success as others, but you have your own success that you can share with you friends and family. Not all that people have will be god for us, too. Accept life given to you as a blessing.
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
12 Sep 10
Good luck. I will tell you a story.
I worked in a hospital once as a temporary secretary to the cardiologist department. Once the project that I was on finished, the doctors wanted me to be a permanent secretary as they would develop an observation/experiment section within the department. I refused as I thought I would mostly work in idle as there were not much works involved. I gave this job to a friend instead who could not even type on a computer.
The doctors accepted my recommendation of this friend on my promise that I would train her to be able to do all the works there. I did teach her how to type, to use a computer, to compose a letter, to do some search for the doctor with her little English etc. It takes several months before I can let her do for herself.
Up to now, she has traveled to Bangkok, Hongkong, Singapore, and will go to Japan and Korea because of her work in the observation/experiment section. I did not feel envious of her, cause I know that she worked hard to absorb all what I taught her and she has a friendly personality to get her a long way.
I don't think that I would be as successful as her if I stayed and accepted the doctors offer. So, what I feel is just happy for her.
Don't feel envious. You will have your own success.
@joybragat (39)
•
13 Sep 10
That's an inspiring story and unselfish of you.. :) I'm starting to feel better now. See, I opened this topic because I don't feel secured for myself and I want to learn how to let it go because I know this isn't good. Thanks for sharing. I learned something out of it.. :))
@joybragat (39)
•
12 Sep 10
Everything you said is appreciated. I thank you for being honest. I will work on this and hopefully can cope it up.. :) Thank you again friend..
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
12 Sep 10
The fact that your friend is going abroad and you feel this to be lucky for her does not make you insecure.
Insecurity is to not feel great about yourself even if you were the most successful person. I think you are confusing it.
What I can suggest is work hard to accomplish all your goals and do prepare yourself for some failures. Success is not created overnight therefore, failures must come with them.
Keep myLotting, respond to other members perhaps int he same situation. This will gain you more confidence in perhaps helping them as well.
Be well my friend and happy myLotting. 
@joybragat (39)
•
12 Sep 10
Thank you for sharing.. I need these thoughts. I know it is not good but it seems like I can't help myself. Now, I have something to ponder. Thank you for your kind response my friend..
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
12 Sep 10
You are very welcome.
Give yourself a pat on the back once in a while not everyone can admit to having any problems what so ever.. 
@jhyan007 (467)
• Philippines
12 Sep 10
..nice one..=), i too have some insecurities which of course affected both treatment to those people whom i am insecure with...it's only normal i guess, for some it affects their job and their personality...in my personal experience, i deal with insecurity by focusing more on my stronger points...just take for example, im good in making this thing and the other people isn't...when insecurity visited my realm, i would say to tell myself, "who cares, im good at this or that and they can't even make this or that", in that way, you divert your attention to your positive side rather than focusing more on what you have that others have...if possible, try to ask people close to you which is also important to you to encourage you all the time and letting them remind you about your wonderful traits and good side..in helps a lot!..=)
@joybragat (39)
•
13 Sep 10
Thank you for your advise. This is really helping me think of ways to get rid of this. We may have our own insecurities but we can overcome them. I will do what you advised. Thank you..
@holdingfast (117)
• Philippines
12 Sep 10
I would like to suggest the following: Acknowledge your positive qualities. Avoid unfair comparisons. Avoid the snare of jealousy. Get involved with other people. Take criticism in stride. Set realistic goals. Don't be afraid to be different.
@melodizachavez (51)
• Philippines
12 Sep 10
For me the best that i could do to get rid of that thing is to stop comparing my self to anybody else ( especially to those who got successful with their lives)and focus instead on what i can do better to make the life as i wanted. God bless eveyone :)
@BRIIENA (23)
•
12 Sep 10
Dont focus on the outside...it is now time to realize the precious gift you have on the inside. In America we all have the same basic opportunities to do and achieve whatever our hearts desire. So, dont be envious plan your next adventure. I learned this valuable lesson as a child. You may look at what a person own or the things they have achieved in life, but can you walk in their footsteps to get there...you never know what the other person has gone through to gain the success or material possessions they have. Be happy with your life.
@pogi253 (1586)
• Philippines
12 Sep 10
Insecurity comes in different forms in our lives, causing negative feelings to our life. I think you should find support groups that will help you feel better about yourself. Anybody can be your support group, your friends and family could support you on trying to get rid of your insecurities.
