New relationship with a lady of a different nationality...

@bigal3 (1231)
Thailand
September 13, 2010 2:08am CST
Recently I have become involved in a what is becoming a rather serious relationship. By way of background info we met because I needed a haircut and the usual shop I go to was closed. My "future" relationship's shop is next door to the closed shop. We met, I got one of the best haircuts ever and we have been togather ever since literally! Don't get me wrong it is "GREAT"! As some of you may know I live in Thailand with that being said my new lady does speak really good English. The differences in our commnication is in the "Thai" way of viewing the world versus the western (farang) way of thinking which brings me to the question. Do any of you out there in "MyLot" land have the same challanges in your relationship with your significant other? Please advise?
2 people like this
11 responses
@ergfortes (516)
• Philippines
13 Sep 10
my boyfriend is also from a different country, with of-course a different culture and beliefs. When we're just starting i used to fear that these differences will be hindrance to our growing love but i found out that there is way to sort out your differences and meet. Me and my boyfriend keeps our communication open and our minds open to both our opinions. we don't decide what to do unless both of us agree. We talk and discuss things different between us and after that we'd come to one decision and we'll both be happy.
@bigal3 (1231)
• Thailand
27 Jun 11
Hi "ergfortes", Thanks for the response and sorry for the delay answering you. I am happy for you and your significant other. Unfortunately my situation did not work out however it was not due to our different nationalities and any language barriers. The split was a result of her dishonesty and my not being able to trust her or what she said. Oh well I will just have to keep trying and maybe I'll get "LUCKY".
@shia88 (4575)
• Malaysia
13 Sep 10
Hi, Both me and my husband are from different nationality and we are together and have no problem in term of language and thinking. AT first, I always told myself to have my partner from the same country like me.but whose know, my fate is with a guy from another country. Of course, I am not speaking to my husband on my dialect, we are using english and mandarin for our communication. I also have no problem to communicate with my in-laws as they do speak Mandarin with me. As long as, both of you feel comfortable with the relationship and both parents have no objection on it,then it should be fine.
1 person likes this
@bigal3 (1231)
• Thailand
27 Jun 11
Hi "shia88", Thanks for your response but sorry it is "a little slow". I'm happy for you two and I hope you two stay togather for life. Unfortunately my situation did not work out so I will just have to keep lookng for that "RIGHT" lady for me. Good luck to you and yours.
@nicajoice (188)
• Philippines
13 Sep 10
Yes, I've been to a similar situation and it was indeed hard. A year sgo, I was in a relationship with a Korean guy. He spoke English very well too and tried hard to learn my native tongue, Filipino. He tried to embrace my culture, made sure he was doing the appropriate thing at a given situation. We both tried to adjust, but we couldn't deny the fact that we were raised in two different cultures - there was always something that the both of us couldn't agree. For instance, I value my family so much and I take it as a responsibility to help them once I finish college. But, he didn't understand where I was coming from. And there were other issues too complicated to discuss here. We broke up eventually, but I believe that intercultural (romantic) relationships do flourish. you just have to keep an open mind, be more understanding, be appreciative and take effort in learning your partner's culture and traditions. Good luck!
@bigal3 (1231)
• Thailand
27 Jun 11
Hi "nicajoice", I'm a little slow responding to this subject so please forgive me ok? I really know what you mean. Since I started this conversation "my true love" and I have had a parting of the ways. She went her way and I went mine. As it turned out my partner was not the person she portrayed herself to be. In any relationship honesty and trust are essential to a successful relationship. It turns out she was neither hence the breakup. To me it makes no difference what nationality or race a partner is as long as they are honest with me and she was neither. Oh well, back to the "drawing board". I like you, agree different races and nationalities can get togather but regardless of that both people above all have to be STRAIGHT AND HONEST with eachother. Oh well better luck next time.
@saphrina (31614)
• South Africa
13 Sep 10
I have that challenge, sweetie. And to be honest. I love that challenge. Culture, tradition and whatnot won't stand in my way. Nationality, not a match. Love is more important, don't you think? As long as you 2 get along, why worry about other things. TATA.
@katland05 (136)
• Guam
21 Sep 10
Hi bigal, mine is with same culture but my sister is with different cultures with her husband & they are doing wonderful with their kids. I think if there is love, communication, respect & trust everything will go wonderful even if both are from different nationality. Keeping an open mind & talking calmly when different ways are done because of their culture or customs, will work out as long as they can talk about the issue & find a middle ground to agree. Have a great day mylot friends...
@chona0912 (104)
14 Sep 10
hi , i don't have the same experience , but i think its okay, if you think you honestly like the person and the relationship is pure and honest . So go be happy and enjoy your relationship.
• China
14 Sep 10
That's a interesting topic,um....I am a Chinese girl,and I went to NewZealand to stuady 3 years ago,while I met a guy who is a NewZealander,we started dating since we met,that's sort of romantic,we spent most spare time together,of course,we also have some culture problems,but those were all nothing,the one fatal problem is the openion of marrage,you know,we are support to get marred in positive age in China,that's a tradition.however,for my partner,he doesn't want marrage at all,eventually we had to broken up.for my fail experince I don't have good advice,just follow your heart then!
• United States
13 Sep 10
Can you two communicate? Is there a connection strong enough you can feel? Then go for it. There is more to communication than mere words! If you both are into each other and what you feel is mutual , then what is the problem. Languages can be learned but a real connection can not be forced.Don't let languages or certain points of views ruin a Real connection.
• United States
13 Sep 10
Many of my friends are in the same situation that you are in and the best thing to do is try and learn about her culture. Ask questions about her culture. Go on the internet and research some things about it. You never know what you might find. Tell her that you want to know about culture. My boyfriend is mostly Irish, and his whole family follows the Irish Celtic traditions. I know about some these traditions, but not much, so my boyfriend and his mother helped me out a little bit. I learned how to make real Shepard's Pie, and I learned how to make real corn beef and cabbage. I also learn that they love liver and kidneys.
@bunnybon7 (51430)
• Holiday, Florida
13 Sep 10
ooohhh. this is wonderful. i think you will work it out. love survives if you both try. and im sure its worth fighting for, working for, if its true love
@Angelgirl16 (2173)
• United States
13 Sep 10
Hi bigal13, Partners from different nationalities will encounter some problems, no doubt. Problems can range from traditional customs to language barriers. However, if the partners are really in love and work together to overcome the barriers, the relationship can flourish. Most mixed relationships, even if partners are from the same country like the United States, and speak the same language, have some kind of difficulty to overcome. People look at them with disapproval of the relationship because of color or nationality. The couple have to know when they get involved, that negative people will show their disapproval, so they most be willing to stand together regardless. Loving each other is the most important thing that will help the relationship last.