Why must every few months of my life be miserable??

United States
September 13, 2010 5:41pm CST
So... I'm in a bad predicament at the moment... and I'm quickly running out of options. I love my husband with all of my heart... would do damn near anything for him.. but I am feeling that what I'm going through at the current moment (way too much to explain on here)... is coming to the ends of my wits. I try to voice my opinion like the adult that I am... I try to avoid conflict... this that and the third... only for all of that to go unnoticed and me being pointed at like the bad guy. It is sooo frustrating to love someone and have to go through the bull sh*t, too. I am really getting tired and I am just praying that God gives me the strength to either deal with it and go on... or leave it the hell alone. Pray for me.
2 people like this
16 responses
@Angelgirl16 (2174)
• United States
14 Sep 10
Hi mrscallands22, I sense that you are at your wits end with the situation between you and your husband. It is clear that this is an ongoing problem between you two. If this marriage is to get back on track, you two must soon realize that you are losing ground because of this situation. You, also have realize that it is important to respect each other and be willing to listen to each others point of view. When disrespect in a relationship outweighs the love that you have for each other, the relationship will eventually end. If that is not what you both want, a failed marriage, then find a way (perhaps professionally)to fixed the problems. Talk to your husband when he is calm and not expecting it. Just ask him to listen to you without speaking, and then when you are finished, let him have his say. This way you both have heard what the other person had to say. Now you can decide where to go from there. Good Luck
• United States
25 Sep 10
Thanks so much for that sound advice!! It has been a few weeks now and though we've been through the wringer... I am confident that things are going to get better from this point forward. I love him.. he still loves me and with that... and God's help, I know everything will fall into place eventually.. Thanks for the advice!!
@goldeneagle (6773)
• United States
16 Sep 10
cause life is a turd-fest and we get sh!t on all the time in one form or another...
• United States
25 Sep 10
Now... THAT... I can agree with and believe!! It sucks but that is true in soo many ways. Thanks for commenting!!
• United States
26 Sep 10
Just remember that the grass is always greener where the dogs are sh!tting...
@Daisy333 (13)
• United States
13 Sep 10
Wow! Sounds like you've tried everything and nothing is working. Maybe you need to talk to a counselor. I mean, I understand that husbands and wives get into it from time to time and that's normal but sometimes it all just goes TOO far. Is that where you're at? I will be praying for you mrs.callands22, don't give up on the strength that God is giving you. God is faithful and will see you through. You are not the bad guy, you are just trying to bring attention to a problem that your husband is not ready or willing to deal with at this present time. I hope you are soon able to communicate with your husband on a better level. Meanwhile, keep praying and keeping yourself at peace.
• United States
16 Sep 10
Greetings mrscallands22, Hoping this comment finds you in a better place. My opinion is that since you have already thought of seeking marriage counseling through your church. Then you should. Don't ignore your instinct. God gave you that instinct. Even if your husband is not ready to do this, it will be good for you. To get yourself on better ground. Don't worry that you haven't been to church, God takes us as we are...then He helps us. God bless you and your marriage.
• Philippines
13 Sep 10
When life is as bad as that, it gets better.
• Philippines
14 Sep 10
I'm sorry your life's like that.
• United States
14 Sep 10
I am just putting everything in God's hands now and trusting in Him to know what's best for me. Thank you both for showing your concern!!
@katland05 (136)
• Guam
26 Sep 10
mrscallands hi there... Sometimes in our lives we hit a bumpy road & feel like there is no light at the end of the road. Me to I can say that more than once I lost my faith even in God & no longer want to pray, but as we get older & wiser we change our outlook in our life. I am so sorry your going through a tough time in you life but all will turn out better in the end. I find myself praying daily because my heart feels better after I'm done & I know they say praying helps.. Talk with your husband when your both calm because I know he will listen better & not when your both yelling at each other. Maybe you both just need some alone time together because life does get hard when you have to work for the future of the family & probably that is what is constantly on his mind to support his family & to make sure your all content... Hope everything goes your way... Take care...
• United States
29 Sep 10
Thank you for that. I know that he may be under a lot of stress.. but so am I. We have been working on it and day by day it gets better. I just am putting everything all in God's hands. Thanks for commenting!!
@dorannmwin (36651)
• United States
15 Sep 10
My prayers are definitely with you. I know that I've been going through a difficult time of late with my husband because of the various medical issues that he has been going through and I've also had a hard time in the fact that I am very frugal with our money and he isn't that same way. It is really hard on me and I think that the only way that I've been able to get by here recently is because of the fact that I do a lot of praying and visualizing better days.
• United States
16 Sep 10
Awww I am sorry to hear that you are going through something, too. I don't wish pains of the heart on my worst enemy. It is terrible to encounter and most of the time changes people's lives. I try to pray when I can remember... but since I am not really used to praying anymore... it doesn't come naturally. I had stopped praying years ago when terrible instances still happened. I had come to the conclusion that it was a waste of time. But as you get older, you get wiser and I know now that faith and perserverance is all i need. Thanks for sharing your concern!! Hope things get better for you, too!!
@aurorastorm (1135)
• United States
14 Sep 10
Since you did not get into details, I can only assume your husband is doing something or not doing something that is making you miserable. The only thing you can do sometimes is change the way you react, if you can't change the situation. I am going to pray for you that this situations turns around soon.
• United States
25 Sep 10
Thank you for your concern! Things are going a lot better now.. I had to put more focus on where the problem really lies... and I thank you for your prayers. Thanks!
@p3ks626 (6548)
• Philippines
14 Sep 10
It depends on how you would take things that are happening to you now. It depends on your perspective. There might be a lot of concerns now and instead of being miserable, try to ask question like "what's in it that you need to learn" and other positive thoughts. Maybe it will help.
• United States
25 Sep 10
Sometimes that helps... but most of the time it doesn't. It all really depends on the caliber of the problem or issue at hand and how likely it is to be solved or unresolved. Life can be so crazy sometimes. Thanks for commenting!!
• Philippines
14 Sep 10
you must be truly in a predicament to make you sound so..truly confused and depressed. i agree with you that it is truly frustrating to truly love a guy and yet still has to go through a lot of "?" in our lives. but that's part of life i guess, that we must learn to live with, or else we would lose ourselves in fending it off, trying to rationalize and understand something which is truly beyond rationalization and understanding most of the times. i hope and pray for you, that you'll have the strength to go on and fight off whatever it is bothering you. on the other hand, if you can't take it anymore, why not try to give it all up to HIM? maybe then everything will become clearer, and more lighter to bear.
• United States
25 Sep 10
Thanks!! I truly believe that God will work things out for me as he has already began to do so. Thanks for the sound advice!!
@raynejasper (2324)
• Philippines
14 Sep 10
..hi mrscallands.. I do comprehend with you.. I've been through that also for how many times already.. actually, only this time that I realized that I've been taken for granted by my husband for a long time already.. This is why I decided to focus my attention on my own happiness.. I realized that he doesn't hold my happiness.. After all, I'm not the one doing a big mistake, its him.. and if ever we separate, I didn't lose any, but he lost me.. he lost a very loving wife who is willing to give everything for him.. Its really hard but we have to look for something else whom we can draw strength.. What I do now is, I still try to be the good wife, but I don't expect him already to return the good things I'm doing to him.. Its up to him already if he wants our marriage to work out or he wants to ruin our home.. he's the padre de pamilya who is suppose to take good care of the family's welfare, however, he's not doing it.. so I might as well content myself of what he can give me and prioritize my baby..
• United States
25 Sep 10
I am so sorry that you are going through something similar.. and I know how frustrating and heart wrenching it can be... TRUST ME!! But, I try to make my husband realize that I am hurting... how much I am hurting and if I have to... I make him hurt, too. So that he will realize that it isn't the greatest feeling in the world. Now, I think that even though he's hurt right now (because I pushed his buttons)... he's beginning to cherish our marriage more... the fact that we are together and how saddening it would be if we were apart. We've been together since 2006. Married since 2007. And we have a 2 year old daughter. He knows what is on the line. I just have to remind him sometimes of the seriousness. I thank you for that, though. I felt so alone in this situation.. now I know that I am not. Thanks for sharing!!
• Philippines
14 Sep 10
Hello MrsCallands, Well, you're frustration clearly speaks itself on your discussions. don't worry, we all feel that waY in some moments in our lives and you're not alone. i believe God has already given you the strength, it's how you manage to pull it off. despite of the conflicts you are still blessed to have some one in life. still, you gotta find a way to reach an agreement or compromise for the sake of your relationships, unless the guy isn't really doing anything though. Godbless you
• United States
16 Sep 10
I just miss the way things used to be in this relationship not really at the beginning, but when we really got to know each other. Things seem so much harder now... we have more responsibility on our plate and I can admit... it can get quite overwhelming. In fact, I had the weirdest dream the other night that I had to end up looking up the meaning to in the dream dictionary. But, that is how I feel inside, it is just projecting itself through my dreams which is even more miserable. Live a miserable life only to fall asleep and it still remain the same?? I look for brighter and better days. Thanks for commenting!!
@asxenon (1440)
• Malaysia
14 Sep 10
I think it is best to do understand each other and be open on feelings in our heart. Sometimes, conflicts do happen, that is because your partner would not understand why you did certain things.... only by telling him/her your rational of doing the things you did and getting his support if possible , that misunderstanding will disappear. Don't keep things only to yourself, you should trust your partner and let him know your feeling.
• United States
16 Sep 10
I can agree with certain aspects of that. But here recently, in relation to me and my husband, we understand each other fully... we just don't share the same views and/or see eye to eye. I just thought maybe we should give it a few days or whatnot. He is away on travel for work.. so though I've tried contacting him to receive no response.. I decided in my mind to wait until he contacts me now. If not, then I will take that in stride and find out where I'm headed next in life. I love him soo much and we have a daughter together in our marriage and I guess that's what makes it even harder to let go. But, now I am truly confident in letting go and letting God!! Thanks for sharing your views!!
@jlamela (4905)
• Philippines
13 Sep 10
It's okay, everybody gone through with lots of problems, me too, oftentimes I wondered why it seems my destiny sabotaged my happiness, but it all come to pass and tomorrow will be another day. Just pray hard, ask God for guidance and help, He never fails you, He will give you the strength and wisdom you needed at the moment. Just look on the brighter side of life. Good luck!
• United States
16 Sep 10
Thank you for those kind words.. and I will try to keep that in perspective during these depressing times.. Thanks for your insight!!
@goldeneagle (6773)
• United States
13 Sep 10
The way I have to look at my life more often than not is that when you are on the bottom, the only way to go is up...
• United States
14 Sep 10
I try to keep that in mind, goldeneagle. However, when you are trying so hard for everything to be right and it still fails miserably... it just makes you sit back and question yourself sometimes like "Am I just one of those people who isn't meant to be happy in life??" It really sucks. But I trust that God will comfort me during my darkest hours. Thanks for commenting!!
@greenline (14848)
• Canada
13 Sep 10
I understand what you are saying. You are going through some very frustrating times. Do you believe in astrolgy, the movements of the planets ? Miserable every few months ? That sounds very much like due to the movements of the planets in the astrological system. These go by the time cycles. So, don't worry, more pleasant and amicable time cycle will be next ! Wish you happiness !
• United States
14 Sep 10
I never really believed in astronomical signs or the zodiac?? But, at the point in my life, in order to explain what's going on here... I'm willing to weigh all possibilities. Thanks for your concern!!
• Portugal
13 Sep 10
aww i see you really are upset :( but is there something wrong between you and your hubby? is ok if is too much for you to explain here^^ i really would like to help you^^ is ok if is a big topic^^ i love to help others and give comfort words^^ anyway try to cheer up ok? sometimes we think our problems dont have a solution and then we find it^^ if the prob is with your hubby why dont you talk with him and tell him how you feel? a relationship is about that also^^ anyway if you need advises just message me^^ for sure i will try to help you^^
• United States
25 Sep 10
thanks for your concern. Every marriage has its ups and downs... sometimes it just can be overwhelming. We are working on things now and with God's help, I know that everything will be just fine. Thanks for commenting!!