Just feeling off

@dorannmwin (36392)
United States
September 21, 2010 2:52pm CST
Don't get me wrong here, I love being a mother and there is nothing in the world that I would rather do. However, there are times that I want to do something away from my children and to a certain extent I live for those days that I can do something like that. Well, I was supposed to go to a crafting night this evening with a new meetup group that I'm a member of. I just got email notification that it has been cancelled because the person who was supposed to be hosting it doesn't have a clean enough house. It has got me feeling a little bit depressed because I wanted to get away from the kids for a little bit. I wanted to work on my pages for this month (I'm hopelessly behind) and of course I don't think that I'll be out of the house much for about the next month (major international event in our city is going to cause a lot of congestion). All of that said, how do you deal with things when you just don't feel quite right? Is there something that I can do to get over this quickly.?
4 people like this
15 responses
@gdesjardin (1918)
• United States
22 Sep 10
I understand how you feel. I love my kids, and I love being a mom, but I feel I am a better mom when I have alone time. I have been unemployed for a while now, so I am home all day. We are now on a tight budget, so it isn't like I can go out during the day that often. When I do get to go out I am so excited I am like a little kid, but I get very disappointed when plans end up falling through. I end up finding my comfort here on MyLot. I love reading all the discussion here and chatting with my mylot friends.
• United States
23 Sep 10
That is my problem. I can only do the window shopping for so long. I am good with crafts, but lately I am trying to keep a leash on the budget. I would love to be able to go to Michael's and do some crafting just so I would have someone to talk to at times other than the hubby and kids. It just kind of depresses me sometimes. I actually went to the library today with the kids and started talking to anyone that would talk back to me...until a librarian shhhhhhhhhh'd me. Go figure, just my luck!
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
24 Sep 10
Isn't that just the way that things always seem to work out. I miss having my nieces here during the day as well because I loved having more noise in the house. Go figure, my kids drive me nuts but now it is too quiet in here during the day.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
22 Sep 10
Mylot definitely has made a lot of difference in my life. However, there are times that I really just want to get out there in the real world. Walking around Wal-Mart may do it for some people, but that doesn't work for me unless I have money that I'm able to spend.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
27 Sep 10
I'm not a mother, but I've had those feeling too. I've actually learned in just the recent year, to take advantage of these kind of cancellations too. I was supposed to go in a couple of volunteering jobs last month which got cancelled the last minute. The first time I was already driving to the place when I got the call saying it was cancelled. Instead of driving back home, I went to a park and just sat on a bench and relaxed for a couple of hours. The second time, I brought my computer and went to a library and just worked online. You should also take advantage of those times too, even if they get cancelled!
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
28 Sep 10
I really should and I think in the future that is going to be something that I will do. However, it just didn't work out that way that particular time. Oh well, life does go on.
@angelface23 (2494)
• United States
22 Sep 10
First off I feel the same way. I love my kids dearly and would do anything for them and I would never leave them. But I never wanted to have kids. So I kindo f feel stuck sometimes. We never can get a babysitter and when we do we always go to the bar. It would be nice sometimes to actually go do something I want to do by myself. I do wish for the day when my oldest is old enough to babysit and that's probably where her allowance will come in. But she's only 4 so I got it seems a lifetime until some sort of freedom. I mean you can get down about it but it's not gonna change anything. I'd say to you just because you thing got cancelled you still have an opprotunity to go out. I take it you already had some plan for someone to watch your kids, so use it.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
23 Sep 10
i think every mother feels that way. i sure did when my kids were little even though i really didnt get to do much. now they are older and when they are in school, i have the whole day.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
24 Sep 10
I've got one at school and one that still has a bit longer to go before he starts school. When he does eventually go to school though, I know I will have some time.
• United States
23 Sep 10
Hello dorann, I think everyone starts to feel like this every now and again and while it seems like it is never ending it does end. Most parents probably start to feel this way in the winter time only because then their kids are locked in due to the cold and weather...are your kids home schooled? I am home with my kids all day as well other than when they are in school and while there are times when they drive me nuts I dont have any where else to go so i have to deal =) I would say that maybe even though your group was cancelled maybe still take that time to go out on your own even if it is just for a walk or a scenic car ride, even a few minutes of you time would help. My husband would watch the kids while I went out if I wanted but to brutally honest i have no where to go most of the friends that I have are more of acquaintances and not the types where I would go over for coffee and hang out plus I love being home...my idea of time away from the kids is when I have to run to the store for something and the kids decided that they dont want to go which isn't very often LOL....
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
24 Sep 10
No, my daughter isn't home schooled. My son, on the other hand is only three years old so he isn't in school yet. And he has been running me ragged here lately. All he wants to do is be outside while Sissy is at school and I really can't get anything accomplished when we are outside.
@cajimenez (452)
• Philippines
22 Sep 10
You need to take a break . Everybody needs a break. You deserve it. Get someone to look after the children once in a while.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
22 Sep 10
I should, I really need to quit feeling like my husband and myself are super people and that we can do it all on our own.
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
22 Sep 10
Isn't there a friend you could visit? A library you could go to for a while? You do need the break once in a while and some adult company.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
22 Sep 10
The only other friend that I could think of who I could go visit lives about 30 minutes away so I try to save visits with them for the weekends.
@eshaan (6188)
• India
22 Sep 10
..just cheer yourself up...and why don' you complete your web pages which you are lagging behind...i know it feels many time like that..we need change .... it happened with me many times that at some particular day i don't want to cook and i feel that someone brings food from outside today...i want change in routine as well as taste...but sometimes it happens that even if u call hubby...he will be busy and unable to bring it...then you will not find someone else also and then in a very off mood...i have to go for the same self cooked food...
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
22 Sep 10
I know what you mean about the same self-cooked food all the time. I'm aching to go out to eat, but financially and crowd wise that isn't an option right now so I know that I'm going to be doing a lot of cooking at home for the next month.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Sep 10
hi dorannmwin you just need some me time as you are a good mom and a good wife. get a baby sitter and grab your hubby and go do some of the fun things you two did before children as it can be done. or if hubby does not want to go, opt to have him have some time with the kids for a change and you go do something just for you. you r eally do owe it to yourself and dad might just feel in the mood for time with his kids too.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
22 Sep 10
I wish I was able to get a babysitter and get out with Tom for an evening alone, but it seems like it is virtually impossible these days to pay a reasonable price for a babysitter.
@katsmeow1213 (28719)
• United States
21 Sep 10
That seems like a horrible excuse to cancel something last minute like that.. but that's just me, mess is normal around here. I don't get away from my kids much either. I have opportunity to. Whenever my hubby is home I can go wherever I want and do whatever I want.. I just don't really have anyone to go anywhere with since hubby has to be home with the kids, or anything to do. I've thought about joining groups but I lose interest so quickly, I may even lose interest before the groups 1st meeting. These feelings pass before long. Maybe instead of going to your group you can call a friend and go out for coffee instead, or schedule a playdate with a friend who has kids that your kids will play with. Chatting with a friend over some coffee will almost always help pull you out of your funk.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
22 Sep 10
That sounds nice. I know that it is still a couple days away, but perhaps I will be able to plan something for this coming weekend with another couple friend of ours. My kids want them to take them fishing and I really do enjoy spending time with them.
• United States
21 Sep 10
Everyone needs "me" time. It seems to me like you are in desperate need of some "me time" Get a babysitter for the night and go out. Or drop the kids off at a babysitter and spend the night at home relaxing. I know you need to get work done at the same time but "me time" shouldn't be work it should be you doing what YOU want to do FOR you. You are not a horrible person for needing some time alone to relax and center your mind and soul.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
22 Sep 10
You are right and I find that since I am only in one playgroup for the kids these days, it means that there are far fewer Mom's Nights Out and that was where I found my me time for the longest time.
@bunnybon7 (50975)
• Holiday, Florida
21 Sep 10
i know exactly how you feel. i had 3 babies by the time i was 19yrs. then when they all were in school for part of the year, i had another, then when that one was 6yrs, i had another. well back then it was a very rare occassion for the father to watch them or for a wife to be "allowed" to work outside the house. because as you know, there must be co-operation for you to be able to work outside home. i thought id loose my mind. and who knows maybe i did and just dont realise it...lol. tnat being said, im sorry i dont have any advice for getting out of the stress for a bit. my only relief was when i finally got to go to work when they were mostly grown. sorry.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
22 Sep 10
As far as being able to go back to work, I have another 1-2 years before that will be a possibility because my youngest is just getting ready to turn 4 next month. That means unless something is working on my side, I won't be going back to work until 2012.
@jlamela (4898)
• Philippines
22 Sep 10
Everybody experience some down moments. Every time I feel low and sad, I just take some time to relax and unwind by going out to the mall and read books. Or simply listen to soothing music. Just work it out and drink plenty of water, women always suffer from hormonal imbalance, it is very normal so don't worry too much about it. Sooner or later, you will be back again to your nice self and good condition.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
22 Sep 10
You could be right that it was a slight hormonal imbalance that I'm going through. Not positive, but it very well could have been.
@much2say (53699)
• Los Angeles, California
22 Sep 10
Well, moms need a break too - nothing wrong with feeling that way. We're moms around the clock - every day and night! Is there anyone who can take the kids for a while - or can come over to your place to watch them? Sometimes my mom can watch them or my sister - but usually they just watch my oldest one, while I usually take the little one with me. Even slipping away for couple hours helps. My hubby will watch the kids during the weekends if he is not working . . . but as I still nurse my son, I can't be gone too long. So I nurse him, wait til he naps and then slip away . . . that way hubby won't have to deal with 2 kids the whole entire time. Also in our area, we have a few places that have a parents night out . . . I think for like around $35, they will take your child for 3 hours and it's like a summer camp for them - while you go out. We also have a place that is sort of like a daycare by the hour . . . my daughter did a few hours here and there this summer and she really enjoyed it (meanwhile I got some errands done with just the little one with me). Anyway, that's how we can get the kids away for a while (and hey, they got to be productive at the same time, so it works out). But honestly, the kids are mostly with me/us anyways. Can you still have a crafting night with a friend . . . or even by yourself - by locking the door at home - or going out somewhere by yourself to work on stuff? We live by a college, so I can go to the library or even the gym above the basketball court as it's open late. I would be bummed if something I was looking forward to got canceled as well . . . hope you get away for a bit anyway!
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
22 Sep 10
Well, if I had doors that I was able to lock that would be a perfect solution, but alas, no locking doors to escape from the kids.
@snowy22315 (168441)
• United States
21 Sep 10
I think that there are many peple who have off days and some days are better tan others. I guess that there are days that we just feel out of sync with the universe and many ways that we can make ourselves feel better.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
22 Sep 10
There are many different ways that we are able to make ourselves feel better. I guess it is just hitting me harder because of the fact that when it all comes down to it, this year has been very hard for me.