What makes a man a dad???
By adawnanaaron
@adawnanaaron (291)
United States
November 17, 2006 8:40pm CST
if you read this what is your opinion about what it takes to be a DAD
OK here is the deal i got a comment from my ex-hubbys sister complaining because a pic i have on myspace saying Hailey and Daddy. SHe felt the need to tell me that he is not her dad and to remember whos bed i was sleeping in when she was concived.
it take a whole lot more to being a dad then donating SPERM. It takes a man who loves the child unconditionaly and does anything in their power to show the child they are always there for them no matter what it is the man that helps take care of you and kisses ur boo-boo's It is the man that don't disipear and not contact you in anyway.
Aaron has been there for hailey sense she was 6moths old quentin had been gone not seeing her for 9 months than when i took him for the divorce decided he wanted to get custody of her. We agreed to visitations and they ended 5 months after he got them cause he felt the need to move to GA with his g/f. He called once in June asking to speak to her and that was the last time he ever called about his daughter the calls turned into 10pm or later to wine about his relationship and was never about his daughter. Then it all stoped completly when i told him i was getting married. He has only payed abput 60 bucks in child support sense Jan of 05.
Why do people feel the need to think he is a dad he may be a father but he will never be a dad in my eyes. With all this said i feel a little bit better now i not only feel this way because it is happening to my baby girl but because it happened to me when i was younger also
1 person likes this
14 responses
@wrknggirl68 (96)
• United States
18 Nov 06
I agree that a dad is someone who does the job of raising the child. I don't think adoptive parents want to be called by their first names because they didn't actually *create* the child they are raising. I wouldn't bash her biological father in front of her. As she gets older she will be able to see the truth about him. If you do make it hard on her if she is curious about him, she might end up resenting you. Of course it looks like she's young so that's a while down the road. I met my husband not long after his divorce and its been an interesting experience!
@adawnanaaron (291)
• United States
18 Nov 06
we dont talk about him at all when she is around my theroy is she will see what he is really like when the time comes and she will develop her own opinions about him. I refuse to have anything to do whit my daughters opinions on their biological dads that is totaly up to them as they get older trust me i know how it works like i said in my first statement it happened to me when i was younger so i know how it feels and dont want to do that to my girls at all. Hell as it stands right now we dont even know where he is.
@wrknggirl68 (96)
• United States
18 Nov 06
I know what you mean. My mom and dad were divorced when I was two or three and I didn't see him until I was 21. He sent some things off and on but he wasn't an active part of my life. Sorry to say my two older boys have had the same experience. I hope things turn out well for you.
@mauterershelley (570)
• United States
18 Nov 06
Have you ever heard that saying " Any man can be a father, But it's takes a real man to be a dad "? Also he's gotta be more of a man than some of the idiots in the world if he's taking responsibility and actually claiming a child that's not biologically his. That's a man. Every child deserves a DAD.
@adawnanaaron (291)
• United States
18 Nov 06
THANK YOU lol short simple and straight to the point lol
@magikrose (5429)
• United States
24 Nov 06
My sons father is not arround for him and neither is my oldest daughters father. My husband is the only father my oldest daughter has ever known. I agree with you it takes more than donating sperm to be a father. Here is a saying I believe in and I quote "Any guy can be a father but it takes a real man to be a daddy."My current husband and I have 2 kids together plus my 2 oldest. He is there daddy. My husband is the only father figure they have and he loves them as if they are his own.
@Metallion (2227)
• United States
18 Nov 06
My one word of caution would be , the new man in the child's life is not a dad if he obstructs the chances the child's biological father has to bond with their child. If the child hears the mom criticizing their biological father all the time, and then praising the "new man who is attempting to take the role of "dad", this could confuse the child and also create a biased opinion. Remember adults have a large influence over children's opinions of others.
@adawnanaaron (291)
• United States
18 Nov 06
That may be true with in reasoning but when the biological dad decides to stop all contact for no reason he had his visitations all set up and everything but just didnt bother to take them and then one day up and moved ou t of state now the bond between the biological dad and his child has been ruined naturally by his own choice. In my house i can say when he use to call i would put her on the phone and tell her it was her father and we never once said anything bad about him in front of her when i vent it is on paper of in my blogs or something like this my husband and i try to keep all conversations about her dad to only when we are alone. so does that make the one man who has been there for 2 years not her dad the one that stayed up late at night with mommy while the child was sick. Helped her learn how to play ball and what not. No a Parent loses all privliages of being dad when they cut off the ties on their own even when they where given ample opertunities
@MysticalRunt (93)
• United States
18 Nov 06
A dad is someone who is there every day for your child regardless of DNA. My daughter has a "spermdonor" as well as a daddy. As she grows older (she's only 18 mos) I want her to know that my husband is her father out of LOVE not because he's tied to her through DNA. A saying I often hear (and use myself) is a little crude, but so very true. "Anyone can be a father by injection, but it takes someone very special with a whole lot of love in their heart to become a Daddy".
By the way, congratulations on your upcoming marriage.
@adawnanaaron (291)
• United States
18 Nov 06
ty well we got married back in august so no longer upcoming lol but thank you and yes i couldnt agree with you more my oldest said to me one day that she has her daddy ronnie that helped mommy make her and she has her daddy that helps take care of her all the time she is 4 so i think that is a pretty good way for her to decipher the 2
@MysticalRunt (93)
• United States
18 Nov 06
Aww how sweet, congrats on the new marriage lol. Your little girl had a good grip on things, you should be proud.
@aggiejoe (799)
• United States
18 Nov 06
To me a dad is eveything you said it doesn't matter if he is the biological father or not if he is there for her then he has every right to be called dad if thats what he wants to be called. A dad is the one who is there for you and is willing to sacrifice their lives for you. Not just once in a while but everyday.
@adawnanaaron (291)
• United States
18 Nov 06
so i am not going crazy then?? in my opinion a person needs to earn the title mommy and daddy
@adawnanaaron (291)
• United States
18 Nov 06
anyone else have any feelings on this subject????????????
@trulysnuggable (422)
• United States
18 Nov 06
I have to agree with you. A parent is someone who is there when you need them. With me my step mom is more of a mom to me then my real mom. She is always there when I need a shoulder to cry on, or just a listening ear. I am 26, and she has been in my life since I was 7. She is the best and I tell her that all the time, I couldnt ask for a better mom.
@adawnanaaron (291)
• United States
18 Nov 06
i know how you feel my biological dad and i barely talk my step-dad is my dad as far as i am concerned he has been the only man to ever take care of me even though he didnt have to. and i have nothing but the utmost respect for him
@adawnanaaron (291)
• United States
18 Nov 06
i know how you feel my biological dad and i barely talk my step-dad is my dad as far as i am concerned he has been the only man to ever take care of me even though he didnt have to. and i have nothing but the utmost respect for him
@floramwaters (1595)
• United States
22 Nov 06
A dad is everything that you have stated. Any one can be a father but it takes a man to be a dad. If the birth dad does not want to stand up and be a man and your new husband does than I say forget about what any one else has to say and let you little girl enjoy and love her dad.
@BellasmamaTiff (2544)
• United States
22 Nov 06
Well, I am with a wonderful man that takes care of my baby, he is her daddy,but they dont share dna or last name. He takes her to the park and kisses her owies, he gets her diapers and sippy cups. Her sperm donor is in prison til 2010.
@adawnanaaron (291)
• United States
22 Nov 06
I thnak you for your response and i am glad u found a great man to help
@adawnanaaron (291)
• United States
18 Nov 06
Thank you so much for your response and even taking the time to read my venting.
@CMC122003 (316)
• United States
22 Nov 06
I agree with you 100%. A dad is the one who plays with her and goes to the park with her. Just because your ex supplied the sperm doesn't make him a dad.
