Who's fault is it when our children are failing in school?
By 34momma
@34momma (13882)
United States
September 27, 2010 3:05pm CST
Who do we blame when our children are failing in school? Who do we point the finger at when our children are dropping out of HS? Who's fault is it when our children don't want to go to college?
Is it the schools fault, the teachers fault, the parents fault, the states fault, or the students fault? Or do we all have to take responsibility for our part in the our childrens future.. or lack there of???
Even more important, when do we stop pointing fingers and blaming and when do we stand up for our children. Not just the ones in our own homes, but all children all across the USA????
3 people like this
31 responses
@ThirdMillion (604)
• United States
27 Sep 10
Great topic as well as a very tough question to answer. I feel that all of the above play a part in the problem. So many parents today don't seem to take enough interest in their children's education like they once did. Also, the government has instituted the awful "no child left behind" program that has forced teachers to teach to a test rather than what they think is proper curriculum. Teachers must teach their students this information solely since their schools funding depends on the performance of their students on these tests. Not to mention the fact that this program was created and put in place and then NOT funded by the very government that burdened it upon the schools. Another thing happening today is the lack of proper placement of students. Often times a child can be in need of special help in certain areas and it can be overlooked by even the best teachers. Bad grades and poor behavior can often be a mask for a child that doesnt really get the subject matter. A child can choose to not pay attention or even act out if they can't understand a subject. This can be a defense mechanism or even just boredom. There are so many factors that go in to this and I believe that we are all in fact to blame for some children not doing their best, yes even the children themselves.
@34momma (13882)
• United States
28 Sep 10
Hi there ThirdMillion. you are right on all acounts! its really ashame too. that whole no child left behind bullsh*t doesn't do anything for the children. that is the crap they tell you so that they can make more money off our children and teach then nothing that will help them in the future!!!!
I take my childrens education very seriously. Thanks for such a well thought out and informed response
@ThirdMillion (604)
• United States
28 Sep 10
You bet "34." Great choice of topic. I'm married to a teacher so I get to see the frustrations first hand on a daily basis. It's really a shame the way things are going these days. Thanks for your kind words and good luck to you and you children with their continuing education.
@gitfiddleplayer (10362)
• United States
27 Sep 10
It is the parents, plain and simple. A child does have some responsibility and the teacher should present the material in a learning mode so that the student can pick it up and expand their minds to understand it better. But many parents are so disconnected with their kids they don't even know they are failing but they sure cheer them on when they score or win first place. Those things are fleeting but an education is always evolving. We home school and its our responsibility to teach our children so they can continue as productive members of society.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
4 Oct 10
you are right about parents being disconnected with their children and school. I see it all the time. parents who don't even ask how was school today or do you have homework? i am a hands on mom when it comes to school. with my little one i am right there helping her all the way. with my older son who is in HS i'm ready papers making sure they make sense and seeing if he is doing all other works. and making sure that he studies as well. I make sure not only do they do their part, but i am doing mine too
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
27 Sep 10
I guess that's where the expression "it takes a village" comes from. It's a combination of many things. I think the parents have the majority of the responsibility, but a horrible teacher can sour a child on learning, and sometimes, despite our best efforts, a child just doesn't want to cooperate. The state can have an effect too, like in my state where all children end up in Algebra in 8th grade, and some of them just aren't ready.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
28 Sep 10
Dawn you are 100% right! it really does take a village to raise a child. you need every single person involved to get the job ready for the world. Yes they too push our children early to take on things like algebra in the 8th grade. But in other countries children are doing algera and other things like that earlier and earlier. From parents to teachers to the state we must get our children ready for the world
1 person likes this
@BrittneeD (350)
• United States
27 Sep 10
I think it could be a number of reasons you could blame. the student themselves because maybe they are lazy, or the teachers who never really made the work fun well not fun but interesting enough to where a person wants to do it and go on and learn more and go to college. Or the parents for not instiling in the child the importance of going to college to get a good paying job. As one of those kids myself who didn't go to college it's because I was just so sick and tired of school and just didn't want to do it anymore at all. I hated it and I'm not really sure why.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
27 Sep 10
Hi Brittnee. i can say this.. school is not for everyone. But i do think with the right teachers in place.. learning good be the most amazing thing ever. I can say that no i didnt' go to college because i didn't have the money and i had certain teachers who told me that I was not smart enough. then i had one teacher who told me rather i can afford to college is one thing, but i can never afford to stop learning. and taught me how to fall in love with books and learning on my own.
@strikeshado (61)
• Canada
27 Sep 10
It's a combination of all those factors. The student has to actually put in the effort, the parents need to care (but not excessively) and the teachers have to be willing to give extra help to those who need it.
If the student does well, it's because the student was brilliant, if the student does poorly, it's because the teacher was bad. Teachers get a lot of undue blame here- most of them really are trying to do their jobs well.
Most of the time, the student is the one who is the most responsible, as they have the final say on whether or not they stay in school.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
28 Sep 10
There are bad teachers, and there are students who jsut don't care, as well as parents who don't care either. but there are great kids who just have a hard time, and there are wonderful parents who want the best for their kids, and teachers who love what they do and want to do more.
we need to get all teachers loving what they do, which will make the kids want to learn more and more, and we as parents will see that sparkle in our kids eyes and will go above and byond what we can to make sure it all comes together
@kylemayeth (46)
•
28 Sep 10
I saw a lot of children in our country. Even though their parents and teacher is very supportive to their children. The children itself making their lives miserable by dropping out in school. And to think that It is for their future.They just do what they want to do. To the extend that they don't listen to their parents.
@mysticmaggie (2498)
• United States
29 Sep 10
The child who drops out of school may have a learning disability no one has bothered to check out.
The parent who lets the child drop out of school is so busy doing everything else, that evidently the child comes in way down the list.
The teachers who let a child drop out of school will tell you they have too many to worry about to let just one get too much attention.
The principal who lets the child drop out of school will tell you he has even more students than the teacher to be concerned over and one less may be a blessing.
And all of the above is a bunch of garbage.
Our son was in the fourth grade before we discovered he was dyslexic. My sister's son was roughly the same age when she found out the same thing. We put ours in special summer classes and he came out a new child who could read and write. My sister said she, too, had dyslexia and no one sent her to classes and she survived, so she didn't think taking her son for help was necessary. He dropped out of school at age 16. My son went college and into computer work and has done well; hers was just as determined. He went into construction work, eventually started his own company and did very well until he got sarcoidosis - probably from not wearing safety masks. At the age of 38 he can barely get out of bed now. Would going to school have changed that? Probably not because he did work he loved and he was a true artist at it.
School isn't always the only place for children. The key is that once they drop out, get them into something they really enjoy doing and send them to work.
@thomad13 (210)
• United States
28 Sep 10
I believe it involves everyone in the picture. I have a son in first grade and a daughter in Pre-K. My sons class has 35 students in it. I think its rediculous especially for young children just starting in school.
I take education seriously in our home. I believe when they're young the responsisbility is on the parents. I work and go to school fulltime but still come home to sit down with my children everyday to help them with their homework.
And I dont believe in doing the minimum. These are our children and our future leaders. We do the assignments given at school and then we do assignments my husband and I have created for them.
I am proud that because of the time and love I put into my children and their education they love to learn and read and grow. My son is 6 and reading at almost a 4th grade level and my daughter was writing her name, alphabet and numbers at 2 years old.
I was not fortunate enough to get that attention because of my mother always working to provide for my brothers and I. But I did have great teachers throughout my schooling that were great mentors and helped me a great deal.
1 person likes this
@misalax (307)
• Ireland
27 Sep 10
Actually we can only blame them if we see them slacking off, or basically going to the wrong path. You know there are children who study hard, and yet they don't do well in school, some don't have the capability to be as bright as others, and as parents we must understand that especially if we see them doing it with all their efforts. Sometimes it's the school as well, bad teaching, annoying teachers etcetera but we have to ask our children if that case is true. And always tell them to freely ask you for help if they're having a hard time with school or are encountering problems that may affect their concentration.
1 person likes this
@34momma (13882)
• United States
27 Sep 10
You are right misalax. There are some children who just don't get certain subjects no matter how hard they try. and yes there are some teachers out there who just show up to get their paycheck. But if we all work together, parents, students, teachers, school, and state our children will have a chance.
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
27 Sep 10
A child's success in school relies on the child's own effort, the assistance of the parents/grandparents etc, and then the teachers. The teachers know what should be being taught. They are presenting that information in several ways to reach all students. The students need to be held accountable to pay attention and do their work. it is the parents job to stay on top of homework, help study for tests, and make it clear that education is important.
1 person likes this
@SinRealm (558)
• Philippines
27 Sep 10
I'm a guy who used to be a failing student, why I failed, I lost interest in the lessons and saw it as a pain. But as a kid I only see schoolwork as a game so I always end up top of the class. But as for who to blame, I guess I can blame the people around me, its as if they are shoving a whole lot of responsibilities in my life and so I lose interest and find something more interesting.
1 person likes this
@pokumon (644)
• United States
28 Sep 10
I think you can spread the blame around pretty thinly. It is primarily the fault of the student because that student either didn't care or didn't ask for help when he/she needed it. It is in part the teacher's fault for not providing some way for him/her to learn although the teacher has many other students to be concerned about and may have approached the student's parents around midterm time. It is the parents' fault for not getting the student a tutor or helping during homework time although they cannot babysit the student and should never ever do his/her homework for her. There was one Wifeswap where this teenage pageant winner had her mom do all her homework projects for her. It was disgusting to watch. I think it's important to if a student is struggling to go through diagnosis and find out whether that student is ADHD because medication can really help. Also finding out whether one has learning disabilities can allow schools to offer accommodations such as longer test times or time for assignments, which may make a big difference and turn around a student's academic career. One or two bad grades is okay and may reflect senioritis, but repeated failures require attention.
1 person likes this
@falconn4192 (101)
• United States
27 Sep 10
It's either the student's doesn't have the capability to succeed in school or they do have the capability but they are too influence by their environment. Now-a-days, most environments are filled with people trying to act cool or fit in the crowd and most of those crowd doesn't bother with education or learning anything. Who the children hang out with affects them the most so its mostly the environments fault (this includes the parents, teachers, the student and anything else you can think of close to your child).
1 person likes this
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
28 Sep 10
Alot of it is how much they are cramming at them at once. Not everyone can comprehend so fast. Do they think more time in school is the answer? I don't think it is. I think with all the technology, that is what the kids care about. They use to yell when we were younger, about the tv. Now it is video games and cell phones.
@shaggin (72005)
• United States
28 Sep 10
I think really its the childs fault. A parent can try to make their child do their homework and study for tests but if the child completely refuses then what can the parent do. Thats why the kids are sent to school to be taught by the teacher unless they are being homeschooled. I am happy that my daughter loves learning because I hated school. I was a horrible student. I never listened in class I didnt do my homework. I know some parents ground their children if they bring home bad grades but I couldnt have cared less it wouldnt have made me try any harder. I am very stubborn. I had a really hard time learning when I did try because my bi-polar made it really hard to concentrate when my head was racing all the time.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
28 Sep 10
Hi 34momma,
I don't think you can blame anyone alone. It is a combination of the teachers, the parents and society. Why is it even legal to let a kid drop out of school? Finishing highschool should be mandatory. beyond that, the parents should be involved and stress to their kids the importance of finishing school and so should the schools. My oldest daughter dropped out of school. I had always told her that if she dropped out that I would not support her so she'd better be able to take care of herself. She dropped out and had 3 very low paying jobs in an attempt to support herself. It did not take her long to realize that this was not going to be a fun life for her. She showed up at my door one night all ready to move back in. she had gone back to school. She graduated a year later than she would have otherwise but the point is....she graduated. What made this situation more problematic was that the school itself was telling her that it was hopeless for her to stay in school. Her grades had fallen behind and rather than give her any incentive to stay, they made it feel that it would be a waste of her time to even try. I couldn't believe it. I went in myself to talk to them and I just could not believe the hopeless attitude!
@SimpleBB (1329)
• Philippines
28 Sep 10
When we speak of failing in school, we mean the capability of the children to various aspects. And yes, we do have different responsibilities so to speak. As parents, we have to guide and support our kids with their studies while at home. If we coordinated appropriately to different people you mentioned and find out that we did our responsibilities, we could not blame anybody. We can just try our best to analyze where/what is the problem. Fault finding as well as pointng fingers will do nothing and could not resolve any issues. Happy mylotting.
@wiwa05 (230)
• Philippines
28 Sep 10
decisions decisions.... These are subjectively done by every individual. Children starting in high school can make their own decisions already. Who's to blame? Well, that depends. But the most responsible persons are their parents, because it is their first hand duty to guide and norture their children well. Teachers/schools are only responsible for back-uping every parent's responsibilty at home. Psychologically, children without proper attention given at home are seeking some attention from their peer groups which is not good for they could be lead improperly. Proper care, norture, guidance, and attention should be every parents' duty and responsibilty towards their children.
God bless! ^_^
@zmluckyseven (541)
• Indonesia
28 Sep 10
this is only my opinion, i think is the parents fault because the parents didn't teach the child very well, a children when they're still a kid they must be really have 1 future goals,so when the children are still kid i think the parents should teach him/her until they can socialized,think deeply,and think why we must love our parents,then in psychology there has a 15 responsibility to be a teenagers and i think homeschooling is worst because it makes your children cant interact with others beside the student in homeschooling