MIL and friend with depression

@Nadinest1 (2035)
Canada
September 29, 2010 6:10am CST
My mother-in-law and one of my friends have depression. How do I continue to want to be involved with them. I ask them to go places, they don't want to go. My friend later mentioned,,,gee if you would have asked, i would have gone with you......this is sooo not true.....I have gotten to the point where I don't even ask her to do things. And she is very negative...even her tone of voice is low and depressing. She has had a hard life and I am wondering if this sort of thing can be habit....it almost feels like she is wanting me to feel sorry for her. It is very depressing to me to be around her. i find it easier to stay away from these types of people. my MIL, also has a terrible spending problem....it tis associated with depression? It gives her a high to buy something, then feels remorse once she gets home. Is this common?
2 responses
• United States
10 Oct 10
Depression is really difficult to deal with when the depressed person does not recognize it. As for your MIL have a spending problem, statistic show that it is done out of comfort. Sometimes people are stuck in their ways and there is nothing anyone can do to change it. When they say they do not want to go anywhere and or do things it quite possibly can be related to the fact that depression can be overwhelming to whereas the person is so unmotivated they just do not want to do and or see anyone. There truly is nothing you can do to change them, however next time you ask them to go somewhere with you and they decide they do not want to go I would definitely remind them that you are trying to help, however help means they too have to help themselves. It is quite a difficult thing to deal with and I wish you well as from your discussion it is bothering you as you seem to care about them. Good luck with youw.
@Rtlsnk316 (1197)
• Mexico
30 Sep 10
One thing I learned not so long ago, while attending a group specialized in this type of disorders is that anxiety, bipolar disorder, stress, depression, and some other, in a way they relate, but if out of control, and even without noticing, depression can be harmful big time. It is considered an illness, it is not that the person just wants to behave like that but simply they can't get straight by themselves and the people, environment around them might not be helping either. Some people with depression are born with this condition and they don't even know it after proper evaluation, sometimes they would have to live under medication to have a balanced behavior. It is a good thing not to go along with their symptoms which could even make us feel depressed in a way, but it is even better not to think that they're doing it on purpose just to get attention, they aren't doing it on purpose, they need some assistance. Hope you can get along with your friend and MIL and read a little more about depression so you can understand what is it about a little better.