my bf is acting too careless T_T what should i do?
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
Portugal
October 3, 2010 9:17am CST
hi guys^^ my bf is acting too careless :( we argued day before yesterday and he just left without even solve things :( and now didnt come yesterday and today is not coming either 
he said he loves me too much and i know he is angry with me but if he cared for me really he wouldnt turn his back and be one or two days without talk. we argued bcs i said to him that i talked to my ex. and that he said he would write a love letter to me. so then my bf got pissed off saying i lied bcs i said i would never talk with my ex again. i said that bcs my ex acted like wouldnt talk anymore with me. but i saw my ex was too sad. we didnt talk for two days and i saw he was sad and talked with him. bcs before i be with my ex we were best friends so i didnt want to lose his friendship. and my bf said that friends dont write love letters. and i said i want be only friends with my ex and that i love my bf and he just left 
and till now didnt say nothing. i will wait he comes back but i will argue with him and maybe end everything. he doesnt have the right to be like this. he got hurt but i was honest bcs i said i talked with my ex. i didnt hide it and he just turnt his back
he acted too bad didnt he? :(
he said he loves me too much and i know he is angry with me but if he cared for me really he wouldnt turn his back and be one or two days without talk. we argued bcs i said to him that i talked to my ex. and that he said he would write a love letter to me. so then my bf got pissed off saying i lied bcs i said i would never talk with my ex again. i said that bcs my ex acted like wouldnt talk anymore with me. but i saw my ex was too sad. we didnt talk for two days and i saw he was sad and talked with him. bcs before i be with my ex we were best friends so i didnt want to lose his friendship. and my bf said that friends dont write love letters. and i said i want be only friends with my ex and that i love my bf and he just left and till now didnt say nothing. i will wait he comes back but i will argue with him and maybe end everything. he doesnt have the right to be like this. he got hurt but i was honest bcs i said i talked with my ex. i didnt hide it and he just turnt his back he acted too bad didnt he? :(1 person likes this
9 responses
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
3 Oct 10
yes i understand him :( but two entire days without talk with me? :( we live very far away. we cant do like normal couples can. so being like this i dont even know if he is ok or not :( i totally understand him and i said sorry to him. but he should understand me too. i love him and not my ex. he should be here for me now :( im working hard to go see him soon. im trying hard :(
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
3 Oct 10
yes thanks for being so sweet^^ and worrying with me^^ he said he needs space. but i really wish he was here and all was fine. is like i dont know if i should continue fighting or not. sometimes i feel maybe im fighting so much and maybe he doesnt love me as much as he thinks he does i always have bad luck. is like is always me caring the most always. i just wish that for once in my life it was him caring much for me
i always have bad luck. is like is always me caring the most always. i just wish that for once in my life it was him caring much for me 
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
3 Oct 10
sweetloveforeve,
Let me play the devil's advocate and ask you what your real intentions are with your former boyfriend. Are you sure that there's nothing except merely casual friendship?
Call me chauvinistic, but I am siding your boyfriend here that your body language, behavior and conduct had been saying otherwise about your intentions to this current relationship. I mean if there's really nothing to hide then what is holding you back with your current boyfriend? Is there anything to consider and withhold?
Evidently, this really proves that the both of you are not communicating well enough and that there's still a lot of understanding required for the both of you. Remember, a relationship is always mutually exclusive and the both of you have really got to sit down and work it out. All it takes is just either one of you to start the hiding and the both of you will be playing an endless hide and seek game, where truth will just catch up with the both of you.
Think again, be totally honest and I am sure the answer lies within.
@skysuccess (8858)
• Singapore
4 Oct 10
sweetloveforeve,
Seriously!??
Do you know what you are saying here and I quote "...me and my ex were best friends and is normal i miss my ex as my best friend. i didn't want lose my ex friendship"?
What is it people say about the past? It is history and what part of history is there when your present boyfriend should be the actual best of friends and that your present boyfriend is the one you should miss.
Interestingly, I wonder if you'd ever consider yourself in the shoes of your present boyfriend and ask yourself how you would feel if the poser was reversed on you.
With all due respect, you really have to pull your socks up and know what you want to prioritize. Frankly, you are really not in the position to enjoy the best of both worlds here especially when your current relationship just does not have the foundation. Remember the 3 little pigs, the last little pig sure did not build his house with straws in between bricks and cement.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
3 Oct 10
yes but i was honest with him. me and my ex were best friends and is normal i miss my ex as my best friend. i didnt want lose my ex friendship. and my bf cant understand that. he was too jealous and saying i lied to him but i didnt. my ex hurt me much and i wouldnt talk with him no more but i saw that my ex was feeling so alone so i decided to message him. i told to my bf what happened. i dont hide things whenever im with someone. im very honest actually. but my bf instead of stay for us to solve things he just turnt his back :(
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
4 Oct 10
I agree with Skysuccess. He does have a point.
sweet, you're ex plans to writing you a love letter proves that he has an agenda. i think you're a good person,but i do believe people change after breaking up and being friends again seemed not that easy. by sending a message to him, you're motivating him to make a move on you, again.
well, think about it, and talked to your Boyfriend when he cools down..sometimes you have to put a little rythm when being honest with that person, probably he emotionally got the wrong message and left off.
@reckon21 (3479)
• Philippines
10 Oct 10
You can't blamed him for that matter. Jealousy is something that is powerful and nobody can stop it even if you love that person and trust them that much still jealousy persist...and it could break a relationship. So the best thing to do is let your boyfriend chill for a while. If he really love you he will come back to you.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
10 Oct 10
yes he already chilled for awhile^^ and he came back yes. he was hurt. anyway that problem is already over. right now the problem is he doesnt have much time for me. is busy all the time. and yesterday sent me a message without even say that he loves me so. is normal that i feel insecure. we are away from each other and we need to show love.
@onichboy (134)
• Thailand
4 Oct 10
Hi sweetloveforeve,
You are in a difficult situation and most of the people who commented are right. You're bf got hurt really bad from what happened. If your bf had known before that you are in contact with your ex bf/best friend, the incident might have been lighter. But, I think the reason why he reacted that way is because he felt betrayed. It is more than jealousy what he feels right now and you cannot blame him for that because it is a natural reaction of a person who got hurt. It just shows how your bf treasures you a lot that's why he feels that way. I don't really know what happened but with your story, I guess you lacked sensitivity to your partner's feelings. It also seems like you still have something with your ex bf/best friend, you just don't know it or maybe you are just denying it even to yourself. I am not judging you but this is how I see it with your narration. Do what you believe will be better for the both of you, it's your choice.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
10 Oct 10
yes sure i know my bf got much hurt. and was right i know i cant blame him. about me and my ex no i love my bf^^ but my ex was my best friend for long and i miss him is normal^^ we laugh much and joked much. anyway i cared for my bf feelings and thats why i said to him that i talked with my ex. or else i would hide it. anyway im very honest in my relations always^^ im happy that my bf really loves me but i was sad that he left that way. anyway thanks for your advises and worry^^
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
17 Oct 10
things got ok about that problem^^ the problem now is that we live very far and he doesnt have much time for me. so i messaged him saying that he has one week to decide what he wants. if want be with me or not. bcs he never has much time so i cant be with a guy that doesnt have time for me. or else how can i be happy? is impossible that way thanks for your worry^^ 
thanks for your worry^^ @onichboy (134)
• Thailand
11 Oct 10
I understand that you have a special bonding with your ex bf. Well, maybe your bf didn't quite understand that part because he got hurt too much. Anyway, whatever happens between the two of you, I hope you can work things out or if worst comes to worse, I hope you both will still be friends. :)
@mustafarox (453)
• India
4 Oct 10
well I think your boyfriend acted really very badly but its not your fault you are just trying to be friendly with your ex so whats wrong in that I would say that you go talk to him and convince him that your ex is just a good friend and he won't write you letter or something and convince him that you and your ex were good friends so you just helped him as a friend and if necessary add one or two tears in your speech if he really loves you then he will again start talking to you properly...
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
10 Oct 10
yes sure^^ he shouldnt had turn his back to me like he did^^ anyway is solved already^^ he knows i love him and not my ex^^ yes about love letter my ex didnt write it at all. i guess he wont write anymore. about tears i wouldnt fake it. just for him to be sweet to me. when i cry is bcs i really am crying^^ anyway yes he talks with me ok now^^
@TashMac101 (2)
•
4 Oct 10
Awk, this must be hard for you but it's probably pretty damn hard for him too because he's saying to you that he really loves you but your ex obviously still has feelings for you if he wants to write a love letter and so your bf must feel threatened. I think you should sit down and talk to your bf and tell him you love him and there is no reason to feel threatened because you only want to be friends with your ex.
Good luck :)
xx
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
10 Oct 10
yes sure he got hurt^^ and is bcs he loves me sure^^ and is normal he felt jealous bcs my ex would write me a love letter. anyway i told him me and my ex were only friends and i loved him and i asked him to stay and he said he would go and he went :( but then we talked and solved things almost after two days. anyway all is ok now about this problem^^ thanks for your advises^^ :)
@eLsMarie (4346)
• Philippines
3 Oct 10
I have encountered this instance a thousand times already and I ended up being regretful. The only thing that's different between the two of us is that I still love my ex and you don't. So there's malice no matter how I deny it. I suggests that you should have an intimate conversation with you boyfriend. He's hurt. You made an assurance that you won't talk to your ex again but just because you saw your ex being sad, you showed much concern of him. You were best friends in the past but you were also lovers so try to balance things up. Good luck!
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
3 Oct 10
yes i wanted talk to my bf. and i already talked and said that my ex i dont love him anymore. but my bf just decided to turn his back to me. and instead of talk to solve things he rather be like this. he said he need space. this is not like that bcs we dont live near each other. only way of contact is a computer and cellphone when i have money :( he should try to fight for me and not me always :( he should trust me that i dont want my ex. if i wanted i would be with him. my ex still loves me. so my bf should trust me and be beside me instead of just leave :(
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
4 Oct 10
Hello Sweet,
I am going to put myself in his shoes:
Yeah, I would get hurt pretty bad. you made a promise and you broke it. he truly believed that you wouldn't talk to this person again. i think this is the part that men can be sensitive in this issue, emotionally speaking. that's what happens when he loves you so much. there aren't that much men in the World that are Open-Minded or has a strong degree of trust on their Gfs.
I believe he will have trouble trusting you from this day forth. for some one who is not that mature and emotionally sensitive. anyways, how did you said it is what concerned me the most. of course, if you end everything, then that's it, he'd be the worst situation in his life.
Maybe it was best if you were to determine if he was in the mood to know it or not. truth can be hurtful sometimes when the person is not in the right time to handle it. am a guy, i'd expect just me..
And WRITING A LOVE LETTER TO YOU? i think that's far off. you should have just been casual with him.friendship doe attain in time, but not to the fact that your ex still has feelings for you.@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
10 Oct 10
yes i know that any guy would be hurt. but i had to tell him. im super honest when i love a guy^^ and sure i broke my promise but i told him that. i could had hide and i didnt do that. so he hurt me by turning his back to me. anyway yes a love letter maybe was too far. i understand my bf maybe thought that. but i thought was sweet that my ex wanted to do that. i guess was also bcs he hurt me much more and wanted to compensate it you know :) i know maybe i was being selfish but i never received much care from guys i liked till now. so when he said he would write me a love letter i thought is really sweet he does that. even i love my bf i was happy that someone actually cared to give me a sweet thing. you understand me?^^ anyway im happy that things are ok now about this. but other problem appeared. my bf doesnt have much time for me and is making me really sad :(
@edwardjoy2000 (2387)
• United Arab Emirates
3 Oct 10
You need to give him some time. He has been hurt and only time will heal it. He will get back to you when he cools down, but do make your attempts to speak to him and call him or else he will think that you dont love him.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
3 Oct 10
yes i know he needs time. but he should solve things with me. im trying hard to earn money to go see him. even yesterday i made more than 200 comments here in mylot. i was too tired. and all to save money to go see him. so he should really see what he does before do things. is ok he was hurt but he should had stay for us to solve things. and yes i sent him messages already but he didnt appear. anyway i wont do nothing else im too sad with him now.
