Gray Areas in relationships... Should there be any?
By chiyochan
@chiyosan (30184)
Philippines
October 5, 2010 10:07am CST
So my officemates and I were talking about relationships - one has said that they are having issues now and that she thought it was fine with her bf before that she joined a tv dating show... and when they argued over the weekend.. suddenly the issue was brought out.
We told her that it could just be that they have not really cleared what they can or cannot do as a couple.... say she allows him to dance with other girls whom she is very close with but never to those girls that she is just acquaintance. ... so there is another gray area there right? like what's the boundary of girls she are very close, just close... etc.
So we came to conclusion that well there should be clear understanding of EVERYTHING so things don't pop up when you have disagreement.
So do you agree that when it comes to relationships, there should always be a clear and defined "rule" of what is expected and what is not... or we should be open to having some gray areas as it adds spices to the relationship?
2 people like this
7 responses
@vhings_88 (294)
• Philippines
6 Oct 10
I don't believe in setting rules. We could not blame the guy for bringing up the issue again since its what he feels. I myself do that sometimes and my partner too. especially when one is feeling so bad about the other, anger of course brought back past issues. Maybe communicating a lot with your partner will do help.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
7 Oct 10
yes, i agree. i told my friend that this time i would be taking the side of her bf because i understand how that feels for the guy knowing that his gf joined a dating show; and for her he's not allowed to just talk to the ladies he's got no intention of dating, getting to know more - whatsoever. thank you vhings for your response
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
5 Oct 10
While it is definitely good to be on the same page I think it's pretty much impossible to be there from the very beginning or to stay there all the time. If a couple were to sit down and try to define every boundary and make each other understand every little thing that is going to upset them they would either break up by the end of the conversation or die of old age. It usually takes a while to get to know each other and it also takes a few disagreements and arguments before a couple really understands what one wants and expects from the other. I do think it's good to be upfront with each other, people shouldn't make their partner guess what they want or what they're thinking, but there are still going to be things where you just don't know until it happens. And after a couple has been together for a long time and has a very solid relationship you usually know what the other one is and isn't going to be OK with.
1 person likes this
@Ramaditya (1227)
• Indonesia
5 Oct 10
I agree that we have to make a commitment to ourselves and to our partner, especially about something we can or cannot do. But more than that, we also have to be an understandable person, and hope that our partner can do the same, too.
PS: If we are really in love to each other, then perhaps others won't matter.
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
5 Oct 10
Nothing is ever just black and white. this includes relationships. there will always be gray areas. Some relationships have difficulty ever leaving the gray. If every relationship was just black and white, there would be no mystery. Sometimes we need that for a relationship to blossom.1 person likes this
@mrscallands22 (2852)
• United States
6 Oct 10
I feel that there should be gray areas in a relationship whatsoever... both parties involved should be upfront and honest in everything. That is the only way that the relationship will work.
@clairie0411 (199)
• Philippines
6 Oct 10
I believe that there should be LOVE, TRUST, and RESPECT. That's all. If you trust your partner, you will let him d what he wants. And if he respects you, he will not do what he thinks will hurt her or damage the relationship. I don't think that there should be rules.
@TonyPluto (171)
• United States
5 Oct 10
Fcuk Rules
If your partner wants to do stuff that you don't like them doing
find someone else.
Why do people think they can change others to fit their nice neat little picture of a perfect mate?
If my GF wanted to do a dating show
I'd take it as a clear sign she did not want to be with me and I would likely just break it off and find someone who does.
The only gray areas should be the very normal things that you are willing to overlook to be with someone you care about.
No one will ever fit your picture of perfect if its painted in Black and white. There must be shades of gray.
